.:kata-kata aku:.

different personality

2011-10-15T02:18:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon u.

one month gone and one day had change my life. and in one second, i decide to stop writing. no kidding.. i want to stop writing. too much things to tell, too much things to share, too much things to think. but in the end none been written here, none been posting here, none people know what is inside my mind and heart. let it be. maybe thats the way to change.

here is a list on things inside my mind. no explanation. just what i think and i want you to think about it as well.

1. most of non muslims are more understanding than the muslims. why is that so?
2. non muslims practicing more islamic values in their life than the muslims.
3. there are many people called themselves as friends, but only some of them really care about us
4. ask, don assume
5. although some of the assumptions are true, but it does make difference when you ask.
6. word 'understand/faham' does make different especially when someone is in confusion or despair
7. pretending you know about someone or something is ain't cool at all
8. change of heart does happen
9. to face the world after a big failure is not as easy as what you think
10. you dont know others feeling unless you experience it yourself
11.just a simple word showing you care about her/him will change her/his world
12. words did not express what are inside the heart
13.only He knows what is inside someone's heart
14. never ever let anger in your heart
15. positive thinking
16. face the world and encourage others to do that as well
17. world is a small place, compare to heaven
18. Allah, the Most POWERFUL
19. watch your mouth
20. love and appreciate people around you.

lastly, LOVE ALLAH, HIS MESSENGER, MAMI, PAPA, SISTERS, BROTHERS, TEACHERS AND FRIENDS.

emotional person i'am. sensitive.wet eyes. ain't cool person anymore.nerdy. coward. stronger.thinner.funny. yup. people do change.

p.s only He knows what is exactly inside my mind.

philosophy of life

2011-09-09T19:17:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum wbt,

well, i'm back to reality. the truth about the world, about life. some people say life is like a wheel, sometimes you are at the top, sometimes you are at the bottom. n there is always upside down in this life. well, i do agree. in fact i believe in that. but i fail to understand that when i was at the top.

when something bad happen to you, you always said there must be a reason, it happens for a reason, etc2. but when something good happen to you, have you think the reason behind it?

some people said it is easier to be patience than being grateful of what happen. but i would said, both are difficult to do without faith. if you have faith in Him, everything will be easy. yup, easy to say, easy to write, but difficult to apply.

have you ever experienced constantly got bad news? or something bad that will turn your life upside down? or something that become your turning point in your life? some people believe there must be a turning point in your life either to become a good or bad person.

as for me, i dont believe that. my everyday life is my turning point. everyday you have to choose what to do. if you choose want to live in the past, then thats it. but if you choose want to do good deeds, than you can become a good person. if you choose today you want to overcome your sadness, than it makes you stronger. so, i would say, everyday is your life turning point. but maybe some people experience something bigger that makes he/she turns 360 degree. but it still depends on what you do everyday.

my life journey is complicated. and it is getting more complicated. the more i think about my future, the more i'm unsure what my future will be, will i be alive till 30s? will i able to get married? will i be a doctor? n etc2.........those questions are remain in my head till those become reality.

new life. is there such thing as new life? yup, i believe that. new environment, new people, new everything. thats new life. but the truth is the definition of new life is based on you. if you define new life as changing your habits, etc2, than that is new life for you. as for me, new life means everything new [environment, mental and spiritual]. not physical. the physical remains the same. but what i think, what i do, may change. and of course norm as human being want something good. change to be a better person.

and it is not easy to change especially when people around you is not as supportive as your family. yup, i do believe environment and people around play an important role in life. some people disagree with this and said that they can change not because of surrounding as long as they have a strong will. well, my strong stand is based on the reason why you change. and extra credit to the people around you. it is not that you change because of people. but you change because you want to be a better person, and people around you help you to achieve what you want to be. those are 2 different things. change because of a person or change with the help of a person.

lastly, good bye old life, welcome new life, humaira. n i dont know whether to look forward to the new life or not. life is complicated. only He knows what is the best for me. "O Allah, please show me the right path in making this decision and please make me stronger. only You knows what is the best for me"

battle of hari raya

2011-09-06T17:17:00.004+08:00

assalamualaikum and a very good day!

it is still syawal, so here goes my raya diary! haha. diary la sangat.
well, why i wrote 'battle' above, because there were battles everywhere throughout the short and sweet raya holiday. why battle??is it battle to get angpau?? or is it battle to get attention?? naah, not both.

it is a battle to be the best person, to be anak soleh, to be the one who deserve to be in jannah. cool huh,
and i'm just the observer. the real contestants are 8 years kiddo and below. hohoh.

so, lets the pictures and video tell the story!!

1at day
otw to nye che's house, in the car. having iqra', memorizing surah, and arabic competition. lets see who can answer the most!

berkaroke iqra' otw balik kampong. heheh

2nd day - no news since I got fever and had been bedridden the whole day. T_T

3rd day- half of the day. here the highlights!
all the adults were doing preparation for the wedding and done with asr' prayer. forgetting that the kids want to pray too. so, at the end they pray by themselves. one of them become the imam, the other bilal and the rest makmum. *no physical or mental force involve* it is not a role play! they want to do that! willingly, ok.
*this is not a role play. and they pray full 4 rakaat*

4th day- the wedding day. this time battle to help the elders. Can you imagine each one of them running to get present each time people coming with presents. they were waiting in front of the house with big smile and ready to receive any presents. There was a table outside for presents. if it was overflow, then the kids should carry the remaining inside.What really happen was, it wasn't yet full or half full, but they already carried it inside regardless of the weight.

guests said, "feel like kenduri in the garden" but i said "cam kenduri in semak" :P

this is where the kids and i waiting for the guests

5th day- open the presents! the kiddo love thisss sooo much. hehe. even their uncles and aunties too. :D

6th day- slowly going home. but still full with energy. hehe. i went to visit my new nephew - born on 1st syawal. :) his house has beach at the backyard. dont believe? lets see this.

here is a special open space area at the back of his small cute banglow. :)

baby Ali. nama sempena amirul mukminin, khalifah saidina Ali. semoga menjadi anak soleh. :)

sorry about the video, have to teleng ur head. hehe. dont know how to adjust it. will try later. :P

and throughout the hols, a 7 years-old kid read al-quran every day, never miss it. and in fact crying when his sister took his quran. hohoh. thats lil kiddo. how bout us? the so called adults?? have you read your quran today?

well, thats how i end my raya. now, this house is empty. no kids anymore. huhu.*alert* this entry is not to show off or what. plus, they are not my own children. ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh. take the good things for the benefit of the future generation because I love our country as much as you do.

lastly, selamat hari raya, readers! sorry for everything. may Allah bless u. kullu a'min wa antum bi khair. semoga berada dalam kebaikan sepanjang tahum, Taqaballahu Minna wa Minkum. may Allah accepts deeds from us and you.

wallhu'alam

8th Syawal 1432H

refleksi ramadhan'11 : 10 malam terakhir

2011-09-04T00:58:00.005+08:00

salam wbt.

*warning! post ini aku tulih pada ramadhan terakhir, namun, belum berkesempatan untuk 'publish'. maaf sangat2.*

jujur saya katakan, kali ini memang benar-benar sibuk. serius! tak tipu!.*dengan muka serius* dan post kalini pon saya buat dengan keadaan tergesa-gesa. asif jiddan andai ada bahasa yang kurang enak, tak kena, bahasa pasar, bahasa campur dsb, saya taip ikut kemampuan. harap dapat dimanfaatkan semua.

ye, saya tahu ramadhan masih belum berakhir, jika mengikut pengiraan esok sudah 1 syawal. which means another 4+ more hours to go. but i dont know when i will write about ramadhan after this.

jauh di sudut hati saya katakan ramadhan kali ini saya sedih dan sayu. kalau sejak dahulu saya asyik katakan perasaan itu, tapi tahun ini, lebih berbeza. perasaan itu disusuli dengan air mata. 10 malam terakhir. malam-malam yang kini saya rasa agak kesal apabila diimbas kembali TETAPI dalam kesesalan itu saya menemui sinar.

kesesalan 10 malam terakhir

1. susah bangun untuk sahur- apatah lagi hendak berqiam. kenapa? hampir setiap hari 3-4 jam tidur itu adalah biasa.ditambah pula dengan kerja berat di sebelah petangnya.

2. solat kurang khyusuk sejak ditugaskan untuk menjaga anak sedara kerana ibunya belum pulang ke kampung, perasaan risau sering datang menerjah,*kot la jatuh ke, luka ke, ibu mana tak risau?* itu baru anak orang lain, kalau anak sendiri. T_T

3. helaian bacaan quran makin berkurang, dan hampir sempat membaca hanya satu muka surat sehari -_-'' apabila mula membuka alkitab, mata mula layu, atau ada yang memanggil untuk bekerja, atau ada panggilan telefon yang perlu dijawab.

4. solat dhuha yang semakin jarang terlaksana- waktu pagi, memang high peak, kerja tak cukup tangan orang kata, kaki pon tak cukup nak jalan, time tuh jugak la kena pergi sana ke mari

5. solat terawih senang lalai- mana tak nye badan letih, lebam-lebam, konflik skit, kerja lak bukan setakat kerja perempuan yang kat dapur tuh, tapi campur-campur semua sekali, *but still cannot beat mum who can do everything, more than what i have done*

sinar kehidupan dengan kehadiran si permata hati.. :)
source: kakak

namun, aku bertemu sinar disebalik awan mendung.

sinar 10 malam terakhir.

1. . mula menghargai masa-masa yang ada- walau waktu subuh sudah hampir masuk, aku tetap jua solat sunat mana-mana yang sempat kerana aku mengerti bahawa Dia melihat usaha bukan semata-mata hasil, ada hadis juga menyebut, mahfumnya:

Dari Anas dari Nabi s.a.w. sabdanya: "jikalau seseorang dari kamu semua mengantuk sewaktu mengerjakan solat, maka baiklah tidur dahulu, sehingga ia mengetahui apa yang dibaca olehnya"

*ini memang kes-kes ngantuk tahap karma. :P

2. belajar menjadi seorang ibu. hahhaha. ok. serius2, betul. jangan gelak kay. alkisahnya begini, aku ditugaskan (not really ditugaskan, i just felt it is my responsibility) untuk menjaga anak sedara kerana ibunya belum pulang ke kampung. hurm, anak sedaraku itu tidaklah kecik mana, seorang 7 tahun, seorang lagi 5 tahun, but amazingly both can read Quran Karim, they have finish iqra kay.dan kerja aku agak senang la jugak. tak de la susah mana. *menyedapkan hati. hehe* tp seriusly not that difficult. ada la ketikanya solat kurang khusyuk, solat cepat, etc2 tapi memikirkan mereka adalah the future generation, future leaders, mereka adalah pelaburan paling untung di dunia ni tau. eventhough they are not my own children, but remember we can contribute to it. who knows, only Him.

3. kerja, kerja, kerja, kerja, kerja, walau helaian bacaan quranku makin kurang, solat dhuha yang jarang dilaksanakan, akan tetap ku usaha untuk membacanya. :) sinarya ku temui kerja itu juga ibadah. sering kali kter berfikir seorang abid itu hanya menumpukan pada ibadah yang khusus, namun, ,realitinya, kerja itu juga adalah ibadah. silapnya aku pabilla sering mengasingkan istilah ibadah itu yang sebenanrya. selagi kerana Illah, selagi tidak melanggar syarak, selagi itulah ganjaran akan diterima, bukan semata-mata ibadah khusus seperti solat, zakat, dan puasa.kita tak pernah tahu apakah sebenarnya amalan yang mungkin menjadi bekalan kita di akhirat kelak. mungkin inilah amalan nya.wallhu'alam.hanya Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui.

"melayan kakakmu juga boleh dijadikan amalan. hehe" kata kakaku yang masih bujang itu. ngeh. :P

4. Dari Abu Hurairah ra, Nabi s.a.w. bersabda: " Barang siapa yang melepaskan satu kesusahan seorang mukmin, pasti Allah akan melepaskan darinya satu kesusahan pada hari kiamat. Barang siapa yang menjadikan mudah urusan orang lain, pasti Allah kaan memudahkannya di dunia dan akhirat. Barang siapa yang menutupi aib seorang muslim, pasti Allah akan menutupi aibnya di dunia dan di akhirat. Allah sentiasa menolong hambaNya selama hambaNya itu suka menolong saudaranya. (HR Muslim, Kumpulan Hadis Arba'in An Nawawi hadith ke 36)

when i remember this, it makes me stunt, biarla lebam2 satu badan, mata kuyu, demam, kerana aku percaya pada kata-kataNya walau tak nmpk balasannya sekarang, tapi aku yakin dan percaya akan tiba saat itu, waktu itu di mana pertolongan Dia akan tiba. :)

cukuplah dengan 4 sinar ini mampu menebus kekesalan itu. dengan ini, aku katakan ramadhan tahun ini adalah satu madrsah tarbiyyah yang paling unik sepanjang nafas dikandung badan. dan semoga dengan kekuatan dan kudrat yang masih berbaki, aku mampu meneruskan perjuangan ini dengan lebih kental, melawan hawa nafsu, syaitan yang direjam, untuk 11 bulan yang bakal mendatang.amin.

29 Ramadhan 1432H

p.s menulis post kali ini di kala waktu senggang dan hanya berjaya untuk publish pada hari ini, 6 Syawal 1432H

p.s.s andai masih ada masa yang berbaki sebelum meneruskan jihad, akan ku tulis mengenai raya. dan 20 skema jawapan itu. T_T

how to become a good and successful medical student.

2011-07-19T15:59:00.006+08:00

assalamualaikum wbt.

i have just finish my-so-called uzlah. hehe. and surprisingly, i found the answers to most of the questions below. seriously. no joke. hurm, but i dont think i have enough time on that. nanti kita buat skema jawapan tuh sama-sama ek. but not now. i want to share something more important before i go away. again?! yes, again, i have to. i have to go away. sorry, readers. i wish to be at home, helping mum with the wedding preparation, (not my wedding kay, geez) accompany mum going shopping, being her sound box, (mum knows what is it hehe), blogging, sharing all the wonderful experiences, reminding on the school ramadhan, etc2, lot of things i want to do. but again, Allah knows best. n it is happens for a reason. i'm just happy on what happen. yeah, it is sad sometime but we always neglect many good things happen cause we focus too much on the sad things. ok, ayat terabur. hehe.

hurm, another thing that i realize, this blog become my sound box, geez, i dont know since when i make this blog more like a diary.. please, dont think it is a diary.. my intention of having a blog is because i want to share what i get, what i experience, what i learn, what i have, what i think, what i read, so that in the end we will be together in jannah, amin, insyaAllah. i didnt ask for sympahty, or empathy, or anything, i just hope you will get the message, the lessons and imply it in your life, and lastly become closer to HIM, the Almighty. have you heard this quotation?

knowledge is the power but the real power is the application of the knowledge, and the most true power is knowledge that can make us close to Allah.

"umur saya 2 tahun =) ".semoga menjadi anak solehah * nk selit skit pasal parenting =) * didiklah anak sejak kecil, kerana sesungguhnya setelah meninggal, terputuslah amalan anak adam kecuali amal soleh, ilmu yang berguna dan anak yang soleh/hah.

i guess too much mumbling, hehe. lets straight to the topic. hurm, to tell the truth i met Dr, Muhaya Mohamad, dont know who she is? click here. and here is some of her tips on becoming a good and successful medical students.

1. Have I made the correct decision?

¨ Yes, you have. Being in the medical field, is one of the best field to give service to mankind. The person most loved by god is the person most beneficial. Being in the medical field, we are always useful in whatever situation. A doctor does not need an office, an organization to serve. A doctor is useful anytime, anywhere and to anybody. If you are one person whose life purpose is to serve others, then you have definitely made the correct decision.

2. Can I be a doctor one day?

Sure you can! It all depends on your intention. A good intention will give good results. If your intention is to serve others, then you have all the power of god almighty, to achieve your ambitions. Whenever we do something with the intention to serve rather than thinking of what’s in it for us, you can be sure that god’s help and blessing will be with you all along. Once God’s help is with you, you will attract people, circumstances and situations that will help you to become a doctor. This may come in the form of doing well in your exams, getting the scholarship and the place in the university as well as passing all exams easily. It will cost you to have inspired actions, which will results in phenomenal success in whatever you do. Have full faith that with God, everything is possible.

3. What are the important traits to become a doctor?

¨ The most important thinking is a very positive mental attitude. One of the most important assets is that they must have a lot of compassion where a doctor has to put others before himself and always wanting things for others more than himself.

most of the tips above are from her book. she wrote a book entitle how to become a good and successful medical student. i advise you guys to have one. (esp for medical students) ouh, and one more thing, sorry the tips above are quite bias to medical students. well, it is meant to be for medical students. for other courses, no offense.

another useful reminder from her.

remove your apa-orang -kata cap! as long as you know you are doing something right.

we always have the mindset, nanti apa orang kata kalau kita buat camni,,, or orang kata tak yah buat or... etc2. the words we-always-have, might not apply to all. well, maybe not you. maybe other person think that way, n i have to admit, sometimes i do have that kind of thinking. in order to boost your motivation, or to become a successful person, we have to remove that cap. huhu.

i think thats all for now.cant wait to share the answers to the 20-questions luar alam. hehe.

ps. happy ramadhan, people!! the school of tarbiyyah is coming!! may Allah bless us all. =3

randomness + pergi + uzlah +kampong + etc2.

2011-07-06T15:16:00.002+08:00

salam wbt.

ini post terakhir sebelum aku pergi. pergi mana? huh? teka2?? haha *evil* aku bakal pergi menyendiri. pergi mencari nilai erti kehidupan ini. pergi mencari erti perjuangan. pergi mencari siapa kah diri ini? pergi .........

ini bukan diari ye adik, kakak, abang,uncle, auntie, mak cik, pak cik,... ini persoalan buat renungan kita semua. *random question* andai fend dalam novel contengan jalanan mampu mengeluarkan soalan luar silibus, aku pon boleh jugak pe. hehe.

1. siapa kamu? siapa aku? siapa dia?
2. apa tujuan hidup kamu? apa tujuan hidup aku? apa tujuan hidup dia?
3. kenapa kamu pilih perjuangan ini? jalan ini?
4. apa itu perjuangan?
5. kenapa kamu begitu? kenapa aku berperangai begitu?
6. ke mana harus aku tuju?
7. bila aku akan pergi buat selama-lamanya?
8. siapa Dia? siapa dia?
9. apakah pengakhiran hidup aku?
10. kenapa perlu pergi BERSIH?nak pergi ke? ~~*ok. ini memang random tahap karma*~~

11.city hunter dan malaysia. ada kaitan kah? ~~*getting more random*~~
12. before marriage relationship. apakah maksud itu sebenarnya?
13. gossip = ngumpat? betul ke? apa definisi gossip? apa definisi ngumpat?
14. negara bakal dijajah? adakah akan terjadi?
15. benarkah mentaliti orang Malaysia harus diubah demi masa hadapan negara yang cerah?
16. untuk apa aku belajar?
17. siapakah tuhan kamu?
18. apa itu tarbiyyah?
19. mahu makan apa dan untuk apa aku makan? makan untuk hidup atau hidup untuk makan?
20. bila nak kahwin?*gatal* perlu kahwin dengan orang yang sama jemaah ke? jemaah? apa itu?

cukup setakat ini. mampu atau tidak untuk menjawab soalan ini? fikir-fikirkan dan selamat beramal. ^_^

p.s nanti kita buat skema jawapan sama-sama ye.

happens for a reason

2011-06-29T17:26:00.006+08:00

assalamualaikum wbt.

lately, i have been thinking about my past, who i was, what i have been doing, all those sad memories, if you said, it is muhasabah, hurm, maybe yes, but you know what, it is useless if you do nothing, being sad, regretful, in sorrow,dwell in sadness etc2, what matter is what you are doing right now, at this moment, you cannot turn back time. You can change the future by react now.

"It may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make who you are.It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be, so, who are you? "

"Nothing is unstoppable except for me when i'm stopping you from telling me something is unstoppable"

"You got to let got of the stuff from past, because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now."

"remember, when you follow the noble path, anything is possible"

-kungfu panda 2-

this is another story, a very wonderful story, and i love it sooo much. enjoy!

Imam Ahmad radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) once was traveling and needed to stay somewhere overnight. When he went to the masjid, the guard (not recognizing Imam Ahmad) denied him entrance. Imam Ahmad (ra) tried numerous times, but the guard did not accept his requests. Frustrated, Imam Ahmad (ra) resolved to spend the night in the masjid yard. The guard became furious and dragged him away, despite the old age and frailty of Imam Ahmad (ra).

A baker, whose shop was nearby, watched this scene and took pity on Imam Ahmad (ra), also not knowing who he was. The Baker thought of the man who needed a place to stay as a simple traveler without lodging. He invited the Imam to stay with him for the night. While there, Imam Ahmad noticed that the baker continually made istighfar (asking for Allah’s forgiveness) while working, and in the morning, the Imam eagerly asked his host about the latter’s continual seeking of forgiveness. The Baker said it had become second nature to him, and Imam Ahmad (ra) then asked whether the man had experienced any reward from this practice.

The Baker answered, “By Allah! No dua`a’ I made except that it was answered but one.” “And what is that dua`a’?” asked Imam Ahmed. “To be able to see the famed Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal!”

Imam Ahmad (ra) interjected, “I am Ahmad ibn Hanbal!” He then went on to add, “By Allah! I was dragged to your place so that you can have your dua`a’ (prayer) come true.”²

someone who was sincere in their relationship with Allah (swt), and so Allah (swt) blessed them with acceptance and the answering of their passing wishes and dua`a’.

Days later, she continued to contemplate her encounter. Subhan’Allah, she kept thinking, everything for a reason. Sometimes, “bad” things happen to “good” people. But sometimes, those “bad” things are truly only outward moments of difficulty in comparison to the good Allah (swt) has in store and is preparing for that person to experience, when the time and moment are right.

As Ibn al-Qayyom rahimahu Allah (may Allah have mercy on him) said, "when Allah tests you, it is never to destroy you. Whenever HE removes something from your possession, it is only to empty your hands for an even better gift"

source of the story: happens for a reason, happens for the best

whatever happens, it happens for a reason. ^_^

p.s. special thanks to mami, papa, sisters, brothers and fellow friends. May Allah repay your good deeds. Jazakallahukhair, and now is my turn to change!

words of wisdom

2011-06-25T07:10:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

saifulislam ada diari si budak gemuk, aku pula ada diari si budak kurus. Ini kisah si budak kurus. Bukan diari kisah harian, bukan juga journal hidup, namun, ini adalah kata-kata hati seorang si budak kurus. Andai tidak berminat, tidak mengapa, hanya sekadar satu lakaran.

Alkisah bermula.

Hujan, seolah-olah awan turut sama menangis. Air mata yang turun bukan air mata penyesalan, bukan juga air mata kegembiraan, tetapi air mata peritnya derita. Jika dahulu, jarak memisahkan dan penuh dengan rahsia. Namun kini, tiada lagi rahsia, tiada lagi benteng pemisah. Air mata akhirnya jatuh lagi ke bumi buat kali kedua bersaksikan dua insan yang paling dicintai.

“we love u, not based on how u perform, how well u do, but we love u based on taqwa, anak solehah”

“ada 3 sebab kenapa sesuatu itu terjadi: bala, pengajaran atau ujian, tapi walau apapun yang terjadi, kita taubat, kot2 dosa-dosa yang kita pernah buat menjadi punca”

“ingat kisah nabi, macam-macam kena uji, hampir dibunuh, dipulaukan, etc2, dan Allah boleh je kata ‘kun fayakun’ dan semua orang ikut perintahNya dan rasul, semua orang akan beriman, tp Allah tak buat begitu, tahu kenapa? Kerana kita akan menjadi a better person, a stronger person, selepas diuji.”

" apa yg Dia uji, Dia tahu hambaNya boleh pikul"

“It is normal to react that way. Nabi dulu pon menangis, masa Khadijah meninggal, sedih, sampaikan teringat-ingat walaupun sudah berkahwin dengan Aisyah. Sehingga Aisyah kata, aku lebih muda, lebih cantik, kenapa masih teringat Khadijah. Kerana nabi pun manusia. Kita boleh sedih, but not more than 3 days, dan jangan sampai kehidupan hairan terganggu. That’s how Islam teach us”

“sifat orang yang berjihad ke jalanNya: taqwa, zikir, jangan sombong dengan Allah, minta padaNYa…… and u’re on jihad, it is part of jihad”

“ok, my GIRL”

-papa-

"bukankah kami telah melapangkan dadamu, dan kami pun telah menurunkan bebanmu darimu, yang memberatkan punggungmu, dan kami tinggalkan sebutan namamu bagimu, maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan, sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan, maka apabila engkau telah selesai dari suatu urusan, tetaplah berkerja keras untuk ursan yang lain dan hanya kepada TuhanMulah kamu berharap" al-insyirah, 94;1-8

"dan mohonlah pertolongan daripada Allah dengan SABAR dan SOLAT, dan solat itu sungguh berat , kecuali bagi orang-orang yang khusyuk, iaitu mereka yang yakin bahawa mereka akan menemui TuhanNya dan bahwa mereka akan kembali kepadaNya: al-baqarah; 2;45-46

nadal & bulat, rest in peace.

hambaMu

2011-06-21T15:28:00.003+08:00

salam all!!

i'm currently FALL in LOVE with this song, seriously. well, it is CATCHY but has DEEP MEANING. and relate to my current situation.

HAMBAMU

Ke arah SATU PERJALANAN

Dalam sebuah kehidupan

Demi untuk mengecapi

Hasrat murni di dalam hati

USAHA DENGAN DOA

Masanya akan tiba

Dengan RESTU IILAHI

Kelak pasti akan ditemui

SULUHKAN CAHAYA di hati terang (ALLAH)

TUNJUKKAN JALAN seandainya hilang (ALLAH)

Tegakkan perjalanan yang bakal ditempuh

TEGAKKAN SEMANGAT bila runtuh

Setibanya di sisiMu KU BERSERAH

Terimalahku hambaMu Allah

Sekiranya TAKDIR MENGUJI

CEKALKANLAH HASRAT di hati

Semoga kesusahan bisa

Mengajar ERTI TERUS ASA

23rd June: the expected date for our results to be released. hurm. just a rumor, to what extend it is true, nobody knows, just wait and see.well, as one of the verse, "KU BERSERAH" and "TERUS ASA"
yup, keep on believe in HIM, easy to say but difficult to do, well, never give up trying. cause we never know which of the good deeds we have done will help us from the hell fire. huhu.

again, it is a reminder. easy to pour everything out in my mind to this blog, but in REAL LIFE, only HE knows how struggle i am. so, never judge people. if you think you know somebody, he/she might not be the same person who u think u know. human is complex creature.just a piece of reminder. :)

may Allah bless u all.

[reminder] sacrifice

2011-06-19T15:03:00.001+08:00

{121} وَلَا يُنْفِقُونَ نَفَقَةً صَغِيرَةً وَلَا كَبِيرَةً وَلَا يَقْطَعُونَ وَادِيًا إِلَّا كُتِبَ لَهُمْ لِيَجْزِيَهُمُ اللَّهُ أَحْسَنَ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ

Nor could they spend anything (for the Cause) - small or great - nor cut across a valley, but the deed is inscribed to their credit; that Allah may requite their deed with the best (possible reward). 9;121

"bila jumpa senior, jgn lupa beri salam, sekali dngn nama ye"

2011-06-10T19:15:00.003+08:00

assalamualaikum wbt,

tetiba merindui bahasa ibunda. apatah lagi bila tengok tennis french open final antara nadal dan federer. lagi rasa bangga dengan bahasa sendiri. apa kena mengena tennis dengan bahasa? alkisahnya, masa majlis penutup pertandingan tersebut, pemenangnya iaitu rafael nadal (seorang berbangsa sepanyol) berucap dalam bahasa sepanyol dan diterjemah ke dalam bahasa perancis. tiada langsung diterjemah ke dalam bahasa inggeris. aku yang menonton pon tergapai. sabar je la oh ya, naib johannya pon sama, roger federer (bangsa swiss) berbahasa perancis (salah satu bahasa komunikasi mereka di sana).hurm, jauh sekali aku menolak penggunaan bahasa inggeris, cuma kadang-kadang terkilan, bahasa melayu dipinggirkan. kalau baca berita ni, lagi rasa terkilan.
http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/Englishshouldbetaughtexclusively_DPM/Article/art_print

haish, lari topik dah ni. ok. jom, kembali pada jalan yang benar!! yosh!!

seperti yang tertera. tajuk hari ini, "bila jumpa senior, jgn lupa beri salam, sekali dngn nama ye"

hurm,tidak ku pasti di sekolah asrama lain bagaimana. namun, itulah situasi di sekolah yang ku puja selama ni. huhu, dari zaman muda remaja kepadalah menjadi kakak paling tua, itulah yang sering didengari. bila muda, si kakak berkata, (bahasa pasar ye)

"korang kalau jumpa senior, jgn lupe beri salam, sekali dngn nama penuh senior tuh skalik ye"
"eyh, awak, form 1 kan, asal tak beri salam?"
"ingat nama senior-senior tak, ni? sekali dngn nama ayah sekali ye"
............seniority (google translate kata dalam bahasa melayu kekananan. cam pelik je)

bila dah tua, itulah yang diulangnya. tapi pelik kan, 5 tahun menjadi budaya hidup di sekolah, namun, apa yang diamalkan tu tak pernah lekat apabila sudah dewasa. tak pernah diamalkan di luar sekolah. hanya di sekolah. itu pun belum tentu dengan kerelaan. ntah-ntah jauh di hati penuh dengan sumpah seranah.tuhan je yang tahu,

itu kisah dahulu. ini kisah sekarang.

di bumi, yang majoritinya beragama Kristian, suasananya berbeza sekali. peluang hendak memberi salam kepada orang jalanan amat sukar sekali. almaklum kiri dan kanan, depan dan belakang, semuanya orang bukan Islam. namun, beberapa kali hal ini terjadi

situasi 1
di depan perpustakaan, bertembung dengan seorang wanita Pakistan. beliau memberi sekuntum senyuman lalu memberi salam dan terus berlalu pergi. hanya ucapan salam yang terungkap.

di sini: "hi" dan berhenti ketika untuk bergosip. "terbaik"

situasi 2
di tengah pekan yang penuh dengan manusia. "assalamualaikum" kedengaran suara lelaki memberi salam. melayukah?? lalu ku pusing. lelaki berkulit hitam hanya memandang dan berlalu pergi. aku yang terpinga.

di sini: lelaki di jalanan takala melihat gadis melayu melintas, "assalamualaikum, tak jawab dosa" atau "assalamualakum, tak jawab dosa, jawab sayang" atau "assalamualaikum tak jawab dosa, jawab gatal" atau......

situasi 3
di surau, sering kali ada yang keluar dan masuk, ada juga yang hanya masuk untuk meletak barang. namun tak pernah lepas di mulut mereka ucapan "asslamualaikum" kepada jemaah yang sudah berada di dalam surau

di sini: harapanlah melihat suasana seorang makmum bertegur sapa dengan makmum yang lain, lebih-lebih lagi kalau tak kenal.. ada tapi jarang sekali.

alangkah indahnya, suasana salam itu menjadi satu kebiasaan dalam hidup.

hadith dari Imran ibn Hussin ra yang berkata telah datang seorang sahabat lelaki kepada nabi salallahualaihiwasalam lalu memberi salam dengan berkata : Assalamualaikum maka di jawab oleh baginda lalu sahabat itu pun duduk dalam majlis baginda maka bersabdalah nabi salalallahualaihiwasalam : “Sepuluh” . Kemudian datanglah lagi sahabat yang lain lalu memberi salam : Assalamualaikum warahmatullah maka dibalas salam tersebut sambil baginda bersabda : “Dua puluh” . Kemudian datanglah lagi sahabat yang lain : Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh lalu dibalas salamnya oleh baginda sambil bersabda : “Tiga puluh iaitu ganjaran pahala sebanyak tiga puluh kali ganda” (hadith sahih riwayat Abu Daud no. 5195 dan Tirmidzi no. 2689).

ustaz hasrizal dalam ceramahnya baru-baru ini yang bertajuk ibrah al-kahfi (klik untuk melihat ceramah beliau)ada menyatakan bahawa untuk berubah bermula dengan langkah pertama iaitu diri sendiri. jom sama-sama kita amalkan!

teddy hospital, terkumpulnya kanak-kanak yang penuh dengan perasaan ingin tahu.walau bukan Muslim, namun mereka tidak berdosa.- hadir daku di situ sebagai volunteer doctor teddy bear. hehe. dan juga sebagai dai'e

buat adik-adik di sekolah yang akak sayangi, ambillah yang jernih, buang yang keruh, teruskan budaya salam sesungguhnya besar pahalanya. [bahagian hafal nama tuh, ada hikmahnya. ^-^] buatlah dengan rela hati, dan nasihat buat akak-akak senior tuh, untuk mencipta gaya hidup yang sihat, ada caranya. :)

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w yang maksudnya: “Tiga perkara yang boleh mengeratkan persahabatan dengan saudaramu iaitu memberi salam apabila bertemu dengannya dan menyediakan tempat duduknya dalam sesuatu majlis serta panggilah ia dengan nama yang paling disenanginya.”

Riwayat Al-Tabrani

unexpected meeting 2

2011-05-09T08:17:00.008+08:00

salam wbt.
dear all,

hurm, i haven't finish my exam yet. but i can't wait it any longer. my last paper is in 5 days more. so, please, let me do this. please!! [esp to mum, pleeeeaaseeee, mum. dngn muka kesian.-_-''] so, i assume mum allow. the end. teehee. i will try to type it as fast as i could. ok.

as i promise. the story!!! yahuuu. i already give the hint. but i bet you still cannot get it, huh. haha. [gelak evil]. well,at least i know there is at least one person guessing. [my loyal follower a.k.a. sista. haha :P ] whatever. stop mumbling. lets go straight to the story!!

it was started in the library. Indeed, i met my handsome classmate [my girlfriend disagree with this statement huhu] study very hard for the exams n bla bla bla. huh, why do i care. [did i have to mention he is handsome?? hurm, unnecessary] forget it. nonsense. the best part was i met someone more special. it was almost 10 pm, and there was only me and one guy in the nursing library. i never intend to stay there until it closed. my earlier intention was just to finish the lecture notes. and as time passed by without knowing it, it was already late.

so, i started to pack my stuff. but it was not the end. i though i would be walking alone in the dark street. [not that dark act.. hyperbole! ].then, out of nowhere, like an angel, [still in the library] a muslim women came into the library specifically near to my sit to print something and our conversation start.

she offered to send me home which my current house is like faaarr awaay [35 minutes walk] from her house, or i could say it is out of her way. her husband was waiting in the car with her sisters. hurm, at first i hesitate to accept the offer. it was late night and i didn't want to ruin others family's plan. and i dont know her so well, i just know her origin, her house, she is a muslim and she is not a medic student, so i rarely see her. [since most of our class is at the hospital rather than at uni] the conclusion was i felt a bit awkward.but she insist. hurm. at the end, i accept her offer.

we walked out from the library, chit chat a bit, and here the car. a sports car with two doors and 3 people were inside. i was like, "OMG!! how i'm going to fit into that" i cant believe we squeeze in. the sisters were friendly. overall, the whole family was awesome. full of advice, talkative, never stop talking though out the journey. and one of her sisters who i have never met before has the same name as mine. did i told u i never introduce myself that night? and the last time i introduce my name to her and her sister was during the first time we met which was ages ago! and surprisingly both of them can recalled my name perfectly! haish, and i still have problem remembering which one is which one. they look the same but not twin! [one is Asma' and the other is Aisyah] and yes, the husband was good. acting like a good brother.give advice, etc2.

the most touching part.. in front of my house, under moonlight, she hugged me. it wasn't like normal hug. it was full with love, care, i don't know how to describe it. at that time, i never stop to thank HIM [alhamdulillah] for giving me ISLAM, the religion of peace, love. until today i can feel the warmth and i never stop smiling when thinking about that night. it was so wonderful. subhanallah. may Allah repay your deeds. jazakallahukhair.

yes, she is someone special that i told before. my sister. [not biologically sister] if you think it is like sister-sister thingy like at all-girls-school, then you are wrong. it is more than that. it is different. the feeling is totally different.why i say so? first, she is not Malaysian but she is Muslim. 2nd, we rarely know each other but we helps each other for the sake of HIM, the Almighty. 3rd, Islam brings us together, being optimism.

Hadith # 13On the authority of Anas bin Malik, the servant of the messenger of Allah, that the prophet said :“None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself”. (Al-Bukhari)

source

moral of the story we never know what kind of helps He will give us. maybe through somebody, maybe through your mind, etc2. just continue doing good deeds for His sake. insyaAllah He will repay you with something you will never expect.

i think thats all for now. lots in mind act. but not now.enough for today. have to continue the jihad! one more paper to go insyaAllah.

ps next will be about marriage since many people are getting married this summer. heheh. *gatal* or maybe about His Sake. or maybe about etc2... the idea is only from Him.

pss nabilah farhana, yup, the picture in previous post is soo cute, i like his arts. this is the link to his gallery, lots of beautiful pic and msg too.

unexpected meeting

2011-04-28T08:00:00.002+08:00

salam wbt.
dear all,

i could not stop smiling. and yes, i'm happy. i'm not going to write about it today since i have exams coming soon.
just a hint maybe. hehe. in general, i went to library and stay there until it closed, around 10 pm. you might think i'm crazy, but sunset was at 9pm kay, [but, i think i;m crazy, never done this before -_-''] whatever, the best part is........ something exciting happen, yuhuuu.

it is not about exams, not about result. since i wrote 'unexpected meeting', you might think i met hot handsome guy.,- hurm, yup, a handsome irish guy asked me about a sit at the library, but, naaahh it is nothing and still not enough to make me THESE happy. heheh.
or you might think i met my crush, hahaha. that sound weird, i met my classmate - Jacob-chineese-look guy.but he is not my crush..gee. do i have one?? teehee. keep on guessing. but i'm NOT going to tell you today. [macam la ada org nk guess. sabo je la]

this is the hint.

source

to be continued.........[maybe maybe] :P

ps yosh! lets break both legs!! preparation is still ongoing, mum. do pray for me. :)
pss next exam paper: renal, friday. may Allah guides us, amin.

people change

2011-04-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

"dan barang siapa berHIJRAH di jalan Allah, nescaya mereka akan mendapatkan di bumi ini tempat hijrah yang luas dan (REZEKI) yang banyak. Barang siapa keluar dari rumahnya dengan maksud berhijrah KERANA ALLAH dan RASULNya, kemudian KEMATIAN menimpanya (sebelum ke tempat yang dituju), maka sungguh PAHALAnya telah ditetapkan di sisi Allah. Dan Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang"
An-nisaa [4;100]

source

people change to be a better person. so do I. May He, The Almighty guide us. amin.

m3taphor

2011-04-23T22:10:00.005+08:00

source

congratulations! you have successfully navigated the treacherous guile laid out by beast of BURDEN. Yet, it has suddenly become clear that these DRAGONS were NOT as deceitful as once believed. They just needed a bit of taming to calm their sawage ways. Now that they are no longer spreading doom across the land, retrace your steps through the village, but with NEW tiles that the dragons have blown across you path. This time, there is no need to restore peace to your land, only to your INNER SELF.
- mahjong quest

p.s read between lines.

random

2011-04-10T16:05:00.001+08:00

salam

dear all,

long time no see!! [typical, it seems my tagline lately].what to do. busy, kay exams2 etc2.. excuses!! tehee. anyway, just random thoughts. enjoy!! =3

it is funny, but makes sense.

things that we have to remember.

READ.UNDERSTAND.DIGEST.

wallahu'alam.

inferior

2011-02-25T20:59:00.009+08:00

salam.

again,nothing much in this post. if you dont want to read, dont.

(gambar sekadar hiasan) credit

well, this time i'm talking about myself (which is sooo unsual). but i want to.

first, have you experience failure?? (yes, i'm going to talk about fail AGAIN) sorry about that. but it is so important. because thats why there is a book entittled "dare to fail". teehee.

as a matter of fact. it is depends on how people see things. some people see it as positive stuff. n some people see it as the-end-of-the-world.hurm. n i see it in both way. hahah.

to tell the truth. i have gone through different types of failure. i failed in my english n history paper, but i got excellent for my add maths n maths. i failed in relationship but i still can make some girlfriends. i failed as a senior but i do have adik angkat (hurm, dont misunderstood, this is refer to girls and i'm still straight, kay).i failed in pujuk memujuk but i still care about that person. i failed as a good friend but i still love them. n the list go on. the fact is although you fail in doing one thing there must be something that you are good at. thats the nature of human being.

but NOW (since past 2 weeks) , i cant figure out what i'm good at. i just feel useless. i keep on failing, start from my student life till my personal life. i fail everything!!

i fail in my study, i fail in understand things in lecture, i fail to concentrate, i fail to have courage to change, i fail to talk to my friends my own feelings, i fail to tell the world how depress i am, i fail in telling the truth that i'm NOT OK,i fail in telling my stand, i fail to care my roommate's feeling, i fail in EVERYTHING.

that cause me to feel INFERIOR. cause i cant do anything n make me feel useless. <--- this is my first time feeling like this. n i hate it soooo much. but what can i do??

yes, i feel inferior.

i saw my friends getting first class honor,

i saw my friends talking confidently

i saw my friends begin to stand up again

( i feel happy for them, but why i can't be as good as them??)

but i'm still here. at the same spot. although i have lots of friends, family and seniors to support.

i keep on saying "WAKE UP" n i keep on "CRYING" and being so pity.

but it doesn't change. why?? why it is soooo hard to stand up again?? why??

i keep on praying things will change, something good will happen.but i don't know when.

dear jah,

do have FAITH in Him,

sesungguhnya selepas kesusahan ada kesenangan.

Allah maha Penyayang, DIa tidak akan membebani hambaNYa lebih dprp apa yang dia boleh pikul. please hold on to that belief.

be patient, dear. His helps will come. sooner or later. He knows what is the best for you.

hold on. keep on praying. never lose hope. do have confidence in Allah's help.

mami

T_T

( i'm not asking for symphaty, but i'm asking for prayer)

depression

2011-02-12T04:08:00.008+08:00

salam, all

this is what i did yesterday. well, one way to calm myself other than reading Quran and praying.

DEPRESSION ASSESSMENT!

the result is:................................

in case you can't read it. let me type here.

TOTAL NUMBER OF SYMPTOMS IDENTIFIED IS: 7

YOU HAVE REPORTED EXPERIENCING SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS CONSISTENT WITH WHAT CLINICIANS REFER TO AS "CLINICAL DEPRESSION".. ETC2. ( the rest is not that important)

i bet that happen yesterday, not applicable for today. since i have start go to library and study. huh. have i recovered?? maybe.

so after i did the test, i search for quick tips to overcome it

1. taking the first step to controlling your depression

2. you can move your mood

3. actions speak louder than words(1)

4. action speaks louder than words (2)

5. focus on the positive

6. redefine your problem

7. don't go blaming yourself

8. relax away your sorrows

9. using you imagination

10. get physical

11. open up and share your feelings

thats is the quick tips in case you have the same problem as i do. well, lets see what i have done.

1. taking the first step to controlling your depression

- i still go to class and do my routine, take a bath, go to class, eat, pray, sleep, etc2. and not overacting.i live like a normal person. except not being myself<----- this is another story. to conclude, i did control my depression (sometimes, i guess. huhu)

2. you can move your mood

- hurm, yeah, i think i have done this. i have been laughing out loud in class, i act normal. except under my duvet. my mood?? study mood, huh? hurm, just move a little. knowing the fact that i have exam this wed!!!

3. actions speak louder than words(1)

-totally true. i keep on saying, "yeah, i will do better, i wouldn't give up, bla bla" but it means nothing if your actions is still the same. lazy, moody, loner, cry under duvet at night, etc2 you have to do something!

4. action speaks louder than words (2)- talk already.

5. focus on the positive

- well, i receive an sms from my senior, keep on telling me to think positive,n my sis too.

from my sis,

"its just normal to feel that way
and its just normal for somebody like me (your sister AND medical student) to try and give you some motivation
i guess that will make you realize, you are indeed LEMAH
u need Him to gather youself back seriously
menangislah, berdoalah, mengaku je yang kite ni hambaNya
and semoga Allah SWT bantu kite di sepanjang perjalanan nanti regardless of the tests that He had prepared for us"

hurm. i will try, sis

6. redefine your problem

- i think i have not done this yet. will do. what is my main problem?? myself. my feelings, my action, everything is not right. but it is start with my own brain. so, that is my main problem.

7. don't go blaming yourself

- hahaha. will try.

8. relax away your sorrows

- relax?? i think i have done this. i have been sleeping 10 hours for three consecutive days with tears. hahaha.is it sleeping = relaxing?? hurm, praying is more likely equal to relaxing.

9. using you imagination

- a friend told me to imagine success............trying............

10. get physical

- i used to love jogging back in my country. but not anymore. to busy la. insyaAllah will do. planning to do that tomorrow n lets see the results. huhu

11. open up and share your feelings

- hohoh. this is the hardest part of all. especially when you are not married, your girlfriends are over the sea and in different continent, your family are at a faraway land. and you are a person who are not easily open up your feelings to strangers.and also the fact that i have disable friends post on my wall in fb shows i really didn't want to be disturb. plus, i haven't reply messages and pick up phone.

to tell the truth, i did told my girlfriend who is over the sea, n a senior who is close to me and just now ( few hours ago) i told my sister who is at the other side of the world.

ok. i think i want to add this list.

12. read Quran and back to Him- this is a MUST

From my sis,

you never know how you will perform.
so now you know the results already
so there must be something that can be done to improve inshaAllah
mesti j** ingat kan ayat yang Allah kate, Allah tidak akan ubah nasib sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka ubah apa yang ADA DALAM diri mereka
this is the exact meaning of the ayah
"apa yang ADA DALAM diri mereka" including your faith, your belief, your kebergantungan to Him, your usaha that come from it
believe me, the fact that you are there in g*****
you are there with **** scholar
you can do it, inshaALlah

in a nutshell, i have done almost all, so have i recovered?

tepuk dada, tanya iman.

today, i have go through again all the sms and offline msg that i got from my family and friends.

"ap2 pun don't give up"

"be STRONG

be YOURSELF
vanquish the DOWNCAST feeling
vanquish the NEGATIVE thinking

i am always here for you.

and remember that ALLAH never leaves you.

p/s:saya sayang awak."

"When you carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

i know it is hard to do something yg u x minat. but if u already in that path, try hard to succeed in it. mmg berat but try and ask for Allah's help. u need to develop the minat n ikhlaskan hati k. insyallah boleh! :)

n another part of the lyrics:
You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

hidup mmg mcm 2. ad turun naik. so be strong k friends. jgn putus asa. stay strong. i'll b with u guys.

if ad problems just tell me k. i may help u.:)"

"bnykkan berehat, tenangkan minda dan ambillah iktibar.perjalan yang berliku ini tetap harus kita tempuhi, siap sedia utk meneruksan perjuagan, refresh your mind get ready to show your true self, yg kuat lagi semangat, n show others what u r capable of, show to Him that u deserve this fate to be great doc in the future, klu dah ditetapkan anda menjadi doc, maka macam mane skali pon duri dan onak yag ditempuhi, insyaAllah akan jadi doc jugak. so get set n strive for the start, work as hard as u can n pray as hard as u can, coz u re granted with this oppurtunity, jgn sia2kan dan truskan usaha, i truely believ u can do it. seriusly. go n start right now!! do the best u can be!! believed! percayalah pada kemampuan diri! never ever think about quitting k.bangkit semula dan tunjuk kemampuan anda yang sebenar. kerana anda sangat2 mampu, set matlamat baru dan bayankan senyuman kejayaan pd masa depan kelak. remember, i will always pray for u n be there through pain n hardship. always."

"take ur time, rehatkan otak for a while, cari momentum balik, klu rasa stress sngt, try gi salthill then jerit kuat2 kat sane, bg lepas ape yg ad dlm hati, mmg ideally kte kne sabar n tabah with whatever yg dah jadi, tp Allah tau kte manusia mmg lemah n sometime ujian tu Allah bg sbb Allah saje nk dngr kte doa, mohon, bergantung harap kt Dia, klu rajin, try bngn solat hajat, mohon kekuatan from Him, sbb x kire apa sume pon dtg dari Allah kan, even our laughter n cries sume dr Allah"

thanks everyone! but i need more time for myself. thanks for being so understanding.

p.s. interesting fact: i stayed at the library from morning till maghrib.

D.A.D.A.

2011-02-11T03:48:00.006+08:00

salam, all.

just learn something new and i'm applying it to my life now.

as a doctor, you should know 4 stages of grief or in other words what will happen to the patients or patients' family members after receiving bad news such as death, no cure, etc.

these are the stages. or it called as DADA

D- Denial

A- Aggression

D- Depression

A- Acceptance

well, this is not my theory. this is what i learn in lectures.,

anyway, in certain hospitals, they have 5 stages- include bargaining. but i don't know much about that.

so lets focus with what we have.

first stage- denial.

when a person heard about the bad news or loss- the person keen to deny what he or she hears/see/etc2

- i bet i'm in that stage now. gee. i start to deny the fact that i'm doing this. hello, i'm writing. argh, forget it, just some monologues.

2nd stage- aggression

aggression means

hostile, injurious, or destructive behavior or outlook especially when caused by frustration

hahah.i'm just laughing. (am i having aggression now?? why am i laughing?? nah, i don't know. maybe yes, maybe no. merepek)

but it is sooo true. some people tend to hurt him/herself. and start to behave weird.

3rd stage-depression

yeah, at this stage, people will be in depress. and start to know that nothing can be done. n he or she will be in stress- doc plays an important role here. there is a high tendency for the patient to commit suicide.

last stage- acceptance

this only applicable to the person who is still alive. hehe. well, after he/she had been through all the hardship, then at last, he/she starts to accept the fact that he/she will die or their family members are going to die or etc2.

so end of the story.

again, this is not my theory. you can goggle it if you don't believe it.

this is how normal human being will handle with loss or negative things.

anyway, this is my main concern.

This is how all Muslims should respond to any lost: rapid progression from denial to acceptance of khada' Allah

yup, that is what i should do.

since i'm in denial stage, i should move fast..

p,s. well, sorry...currently i'm not in the right state of mind, and this is one of the ways to get back my senses....thank god, i'm still alive. n yes, i love myself. (so, what?? nah. i dont know, it is just something inside my mind)

ps.s did u know i have exam which cost 40% of my summer exam next week??

in case if you don't know, let me tell you:

interesting fact: i have exam next week. .

thanks for reading. - kalau ade yang membaca.^_^

ini bukan jalan yang mudah- aku tidak gagal, aku belum berjaya.

2011-02-10T04:38:00.003+08:00

salam, semua.

ini kata-kata hatiku. andai kamu tidak mahu membaca, tidak mengapa. ini hanyalah sekadar luahan hati seorang insan kerdil yang baru mula mengenal dunia.

hari ini, aku baru kenal perkataan "air mata", hari ini juga aku baru kenal perkataan, "kegagalan". dua perkataan yang sentiasa beriringan. sudah lama ditinggalkan oleh aku. kononnya sudah belajar dari kesilapan. namun, aku lupa bahawa Dia berjanji bahawa seorang itu tidak akan beriman selagi masih belum diuji.

dan kini, aku diuji. diuji dengan kegagalan. diuji dengan parah sekali, sehingga jatuh tersungkur. aku tidak mampu lagi untuk pandang ke hadapan. tak mampu jua untuk bangun semula. aku fikir inilah jawapan kepada persoalan aku selama ini. adakah aku layak berada di sini?? inilah jawapan kepada kedegilan aku untuk menerima nikmat yang sudah diberi olehNya.

bersyukur!

mengapa begitu sukar untuk dilakukan?? bersyukur dengna kegagalan itu. bukankah Dia pernah berkata bahawa untungnya orang yang beriman apabila diuji dengan sesuatu, dia bersyukur dan apabila diberi nikmat dia juga bersyukur. tetapi kenapa begitu sukar untuk diri ini bersyukur??

kegagalan.

air mata aku tidak henti-henti. jantung juga makin berdegup kencang. bagai terpanar hyperventilation. atau mungkin tachycardia?? argh, sakitnya jantung ini bagai terpukul myocardial infarction. - bukti aku masih sayang jurusan ini.

bangkitlah wahai diri!

mungkin aku akan berdepan dengan seribu satu humiliation. apakan daya, padan muka. siapa suruh tak belajar? ibu ku selalu berkata bukan berapa jam kita belaja yang kita hendak, tetapi sebanyak mana yang kita ingat dan kualiti masa belajar itu yang kita tuju. aku mula tertanya-tanya, di manakah silapku?? cara belajar mungkin?? keikhlasan?? keseriusan??

fokus!

aku harus lebih fokus! jalan yang dipilih ini bukan mudah! serius! mungkin kegagalan ini bakal menjadi titik perubahan hidup ku. harap ambil pengajaran.ingat! Dia tidak pernah membebani hambaNya. aku sendiri yang membebani diri ini. tidak pernah melihat sejauh mana diri ini mampu pergi.

ayuh!

maafkan aku rakan dan taulan. bukan aku ingin pinggirkan kalian, namun seruan jihad ini yang lebih memerlukan perhatian aku. kegagalan ini bukan sesuatu yang mudah. aku perlu berdepan dengannya. bukan lari sejauh mungkin. <------- tidak mungkin akan berlaku selagi mana aku masih berpijak di bumi yang nyata.

maafkan saya, mami, papa, abg, kakak, adik, sy perlu pergi berjuang. menebus kesalahan yang lalu. ini bukan jalan yang mudah.

aku harus bersedia! kegagalan ini harus aku hadapi.

ya Allah, hanya padaMu aku berharap kekuatan untuk menghadapinya. ini bukan jalan yang mudah. ampunilah dosaku ya Allah. redhakan lah hatiku ini untuk menerima kegagalan ini.

ini belum berakhir.

"aku tidak gagal. aku cuma belum berjaya" yosh! takbir! Allahuakhbar.

kuatkan semangat wahai diri. aku masih menyayangimu, wahai diri.

T_T

A picture paints a thousand words- turkey part 1

2011-01-07T18:13:00.012+08:00

salam, all

my class just started this week. and it means, new resolutions begins- FOCUS!

so, lets end the 2010 story!

hurm, frankly, my post this time will full of pictures. like what english people always said a picture paints a thousand words. hehe.

the journey begins! waweee. off to turkey after 20 minutes delayed

the first day- off to topkapi palace, now becomes a museum

topkapi palace again! - it is so big u know- boleh sesat lo

topkapi jugak- pusat pendidikan anak2 dahulu kala

topkapi palace- tersimpannya pedang para khalifah dan nabi

topkapi- tempat persidangan

hagia sofea- from a church to mosque- now becomes a museum

inside hagia sofea-the first place where sultan al-fateh and his soldiers pray after conquer istanbul
hagia sofea- mimbar- it is sooo tall. wonder how a khatib can give khutbah without any p.a. system huhu.
inside hagia sofea- sooo spacious. it is once not just a mosque, but a school to teach children, cook, etc. it was a social place, a gathering place. how bout our mosque now??

hagia sofea- some of the islamic value that are still preserved by Attartuk

blue mosque- facing hagia sofea, blue inside.

maiden tower- at bosphorus strait- originally was build to save the daughter from snake- tapi ajal tuhan, tak boleh lari
from the cruise- bosphorus strait
mavi marmara ship- parking at the shore

sultan al-fateh's fortress- sad when they use it for concert during summer.

at sultan al-fateh's mosque- people prayed jenazah prayer- reminding us of death- anywhere, anytime,anyone

at the courtyard of sultan muhammad al-fatih's mosque

sultan al-fateh's mosque under construction- behind it is sultan muhammad al-fateh's tomb

on the way to the tomb- a building that relate with palestine issue [the poster is in turkish-cant understand much.huhu]

dolmabache palace- the clock tower

dolmabache tower- tanda kejatuhan turkey dan tempat kematian attartuk dalam keadaan yang menyeksakan

at the back of dolmabache palace- once was a port then became a palace

view from the palace

the front of the dolmabache palace

the main gate of dolmabache palace- where the country money wasted

good bye, turkey

a memorable trip indeed. ^_^

thats was how i spend my winter holiday for the first time. more turkey stories after this!

these are just the buildings, the history.The presents are different.

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."- kungfu panda

friendship

2011-01-07T04:13:00.005+08:00

salam.

This is a beautiful story told by my seniors during our journey in historical city, istanbul.

Abu Idris al-Khawlani said, "I entered the mosque of Damascus and there was a young man with white teeth there with some other people.When they disagreed about something, they referred it to him and followed his opinion. I inquired about him and it was said, 'That is Mu'adh ibn Jabal.'

The following day, I went early and I found that he had come earlier than me and I found him praying. I waited for him until he finished his prayer and then I approached him from the front.

I greeted him and then said, 'By Allah, I love you for the sake of Allah.'

He said, 'By Allah?' I said, 'By Allah.'

He took hold of the upper part of my cloak and pulled me to him.

He said, 'Rejoice! I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "Allah Almighty says, 'My love is mandatory for those who love one another in Me and sit together for My sake and who visit one another for My sake and who give generously to to one another for My sake.'"'" [Muwatta']

and this is the other one hadith about friendship in Islam

The Prophet (SAW) said 'The right of a Muslim upon a Muslim are six' It was asked what are they? He replied
' When you meet him, salute him
when he calls you, respond to him
When he seeks advice , give him advice
When he sneezes and praises Allah, respond to him
When he falls ill, visit him
When he dies, follow him (the funeral bier)' (Muslim)

mashaAllah it was so wonderful.

"o Allah, please grant all my friends with your blessings. I love them for Your sake, o The Most Gracius"

the beginning of a journey

2011-01-02T03:00:00.004+08:00

salam, all.

it had been ages since my last post. so, lets go straight to the point!!

this is just a short story of a girl who persuade her dream in an unknown world.

the first challenge she has to face: four times change date and time of flight to the unknown part of the world. she still able to accept it. maintain her coolness.

the first changes: from 7th september to 9th september (one day before eid)

2nd changes: from 9th september change back to 7th

3rd changes: from morning 7th september change to night 7th sept

4th changes: from night 7th sept to evening 8th sept (due to technical problem by MAS - have to stay one night in Palace of Golder Horses)

arrive in London that night, miss the flight to Dublin. have to stay another night at Park Inn Hotel. got complicated issues with MAS officer. (should be in Hilton Hotel but it was already full. then waiting for MAS officer to open their counter which took them ages to do that. Mara UK officer wasn't that helpful at first until we said "x pe la, kitorg tido kat airport je" (tau takut, hehe)) when arrived Dublin, need to took bus to the destination..

3 days later she arrived to "that" place with bunch of kids. laughing n singing. singing?? don't think so. hehe. nway, it was still sunny until the day she realized she miss something. she miss her cats, home, mum and dad (obviously, it was so faaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr away, who didn't miss their family and hometown??) well, this is another story, she miss her money. erk, that sentence is kinda weird huh? lets make it simpler. she misplaced her small travel pouch.(money and bank draft inside) along the journey.

it wasn't the end of the story. to make things worst, it was eid celebration the day after she arrived and she was in completely no mood to celebrate it, which it was supposed to be the day of happiness. she tried. only some knew the fact that she lost her 1100 euro along with the bank draft, (for 6 months allowance) she tried not to cried. yes, she made it but not long enough..

after almost one week, she called her family but didn't tell the truth. only the sisters knew. but they kept it as secret. she didn't want her parents to know. it was too much pain in her heart and too much sacrificed her parents had done for her before sent her fly. at last, the sister leaked out the secrets. it wasn't secret anymore. she called home again but this time she can't stop her tears anymore. it was too hurt even listen to mum's voice.

she have to do everything alone and being independent. indeed she told some seniors, but what can they do? they also have their own problem and things to think. she hate put more burden on others especially people that she hardly know.

things begun to settled down.but life wasn't that easy. life is not like a bed of roses. there were lots of things to handle. but only to Him , she asked forgiveness and ease her path.

(the above part was written on 28th september 2010)

lets continued the journey of this little girl. the writer was soooo busy until today she realized the story need to to be completed

{5} فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:

{6} إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

{7} فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانْصَبْ

Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,

{8} وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ

And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

[94,5-8]

yes, there is relief after every difficulty. that is His promise. She believe in that until the end of her life. after a very hectic week, her emotional unstable, her life turn upside down, she started to change. not to worst, but she become a stronger girl. money is everything. habluminnas wa habluminaAllah are more important.

a month later, a person gave her an envelope. she confused and hesitated. is this a kind of game?(she become a little bit skeptical) so difficult to believe and open her heart for others. she was being tooo careful. at the end, she accept the envelope and look inside. a few hundred euros. speechless.

" sis, what is this means?"

the person said, " just accept it. there are few people give it to u. they are willing to help u.it is just a little. not 1100 euro. we are sisters. u are a muslim, right?" she nodded, then the person continued," then, we are family."

she cried. felt touched. not because of the money, but because of that person statement, her face expression, her attitude, her sincerity. it is totally different.

in a place where family are so difficult to reach, where there are soo few people, she was so grateful to be there. to be part of the family, ( a.k.a. galway family) alhamdulillah.

(few months later, she received another envelope, the same person give it to her but it is from another country, called united kingdom)

o Allah, grant them with jannah as I'm incapable to do that. only You, the Almighty.

she don't know what to say or what to do. only Him can pay all the deeds. thank you. thank you so much.

love others more than you love yourself. :)

next post, insyaAllah- my very first winter holiday

i am a coward

2010-08-18T23:40:00.002+08:00

salam, readers.

first of all happy fasting.

gambar sekadar hiasan

well, a few things happen and i'm feel uneasy and disappointed about myself.

on the way to send my babysitter home, i saw an old man, apparently my own neighbor walking towards bazar ramadhan. the distance is quite far for that age. i stop the car and want to give a ride. yes, i did it but i stop miles away from where he was because i take few minutes to think about doing it. doing good deeds. what happen to me?? why it takes so long for me to do good deeds? what am i thinking?? am i so sure i have done lots of good things and can enter His Jannah??? omg, putus fiuskah aku?? at the end, i continue my journey without him with miserable feelings.T_T on the way home, i was hoping to see him again and wishing i can give him a ride. but not my luck.

a friend told me i'm selfish. maybe that person is right. i'm just a coward and selfish.

another miserable moment. in a big event, i saw my friend's grandmother who i have met a month ago and have a nice chit chat. BUT, during that day, i just gave her a smile from a distant but not meeting her, salam, say hi, or have a short conversation. I WAS NOT DOING IT!! argh. emo2. i don't know what is happening to me, too busy with my uncle and auntie?? i don't think so. why i can't take a few minutes to meet her?? seriously i feel dumb.

i feel even worse when i didn't go and greet my other friends' mothers. whats wrong with me?? where is my manner?? what happen to your principle, jaga hubungan denganNya dan juga manusia?? shame of being myself -_-"

i care about my friends, but i'm too coward to say so.

i love mummy so much because willing to help me to go through all these procedures thingy, but i'm too coward to say i love you

i love papa too because calling everywhere to get my medical checkup done but i'm to coward to tell you how much i appreciate your effort

i'm too scared of losing friends, more so hurting them.

i'm trying to help my friends, but sometimes i got it wrong. i'm too afraid of losing you guys.

dear friends and family,

sorry for my selfishness, for being too pessimist, too skeptical, and too paranoid. i have no courage to tell you how much i love and care about all my brothers, sisters, mummy, papa and all my friends since i was small until now. sorry.

i'm too coward. but sometimes i'm wondering. is it true i'm a coward? i dare to drive 110 km/h to kt. but in relationship, i'm a failure. maybe because human beings are too unique that i can't treat them like a machine or car. I SHOULD TREAT THEM LIKE HUMAN BEING, have feelings and back to nature, require love and support to survive.

it is all makes sense. it is not easy to enter His Jannah. when someone want to do good deeds, there comes Mr. Doubts, Mrs. Skeptic n etc mazmumah behaviour.

i hope this year, in this holy month Ramadhan, i will be able to have more courage to do all the good deeds. even as easy as pick up rubbish.

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُواْ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْاْ مِن قَبْلِكُم مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاء وَالضَّرَّاء وَزُلْزِلُواْ حَتَّى يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ مَعَهُ مَتَى نَصْرُ اللّهِ أَلا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللّهِ قَرِيبٌ

[2:214] Apakah kamu mengira bahwa kamu akan masuk syurga, padahal belum datang kepadamu (cobaan) sebagaimana halnya orang-orang terdahulu sebelum kamu? Mereka ditimpa oleh malapetaka dan kesengsaraan, serta digoncangkan (dengan bermacam-macam cobaan) sehingga berkatalah Rasul dan orang-orang yang beriman bersamanya: “Bilakah datangnya pertolongan Allah?” Ingatlah, sesungguhnya pertolongan Allah itu amat dekat.

English: Or do you think that you would enter the garden while yet the state of those who have passed away before you has not come upon you; distress and affliction befell them and they were shaken violently, so that the Apostle and those who believed with him said: When will the help of Allah come? Now surely the help of Allah is nigh!

O Allah, please grant me with courage, forgive my sins. may this year much better than last year.

May we successfully enroll in Your School of Tarbiyyah for 1431H. Happy Ramadhan.

i just need courage.

Hidup tidak selalunya indah
Langit tak selalu cerah
Suram malam tak berbintang
Itulah lukisan alam

[hijjaz-lukisan alam]

i miss this happy moments with bro. plus, langkawi trip with girlfriends.

p/s thanks bro muhammad, copy the ayat quran from your blog. ^_^

tiada lagi " aku dan dia"

2010-07-18T16:34:00.005+08:00

salam. semua

hanya mahu berkongsi perasaan ini. mungkin boleh dijadikan sebagai peringatan dikala sibuk dengan kehidupan anda. pelbagai ragam dan cerita. namun, semuanya mempunyai fitrah yang sama.

ini cerita saya. walau masih dalam keadaan separa terkejut, separa sedih, aknku gagahi jua menaip post kali ini.

2 hari yang agak memenatkan. penat melayan perasaan. penat melayan emosi. penat melayan orang sekeliling. penat melakukan itu dan ini. namun, itulah hidup. teringat kata imam syafie,

" Berpenat lelahlah kerana Allah, sesungguhnya kesenangan itu selepas kepenatan. Jangan berdukacita kerana hidup ini meletihkan, kerana demikianlah hidup ini diciptakan "

- Imam Syafie -

PERJALANAN HARI ITU

bermula di hari Jumaat yang indah.seawal pagi pukul 7.

ke kuala terengganu. kata mummy dan papa, ada mesyuarat di sana. tugas ku menjaga si budak kecik itu di taman permainan dan taman membeli belah, mydin mall dikala mereka bermeeting.aku akur.

berjam-jam jualah daku di situ. sekejap masuk, sekejap keluar, sekejap pergi makan,sekejap pergi tandas. sampai org si promoter sempat menegur

"anak akak ek ni??" katanya sambil menunjuk ke arah si budak kenit itu, adei.

hanya senyuman mampu ku beri.

setelah sekian lama menunggu, mummy dan papa tiba, membeli sedikit keperluan rumah, bawang, ayam, etc2. lalu berangkat ke sekolah adik. kononnya, ingin melawat adik, dijadikan cerita, si adik ni pula ke maahad, ada program kata gurunya. sabar je la. tanpa sebarang berita darinya. kami redha dan berangkat pulang ke rumah. walau rumah di satu negeri yang sama, namun jaraknya 2 jam la jugak.

di kala kami berperang dengan air hujan yang turun dengan lebatnya, di satu tempat di atas bumi ciptaaan tuhan ini jugalah, ada insan yang sedang berperang dengan nyawa sendiri, sakaratul maut.

BERITA ITU.

alhamdulillah, masih dipanjangkan umur, kami tiba di rumah dengan seribu satu kepenatan.(sy pun penat juga,walau tak drive. hehe) belum sempat hilang penat dan lelah, menerima satu panggilan dari che cik (ibu saudara, kakak kepada ayah) menyampaikan satu berita yang mengejutkan.

"tok abah meninggal dunia petang tadi kat bangi"

terkedu. terkejut. itu perasaan saya, perasaan ayah ketika itu hanya tuhan yang tahu, kalut seisi rumah. menelefon ke sana sini, packing barang untuk pulang ke kampung, kata che cik, tok abah pesan untuk di'simpan' jenazahnya di sebelah kubur tok ma (meninggal dunia setahun lalu) iaitu di kota bharu.

memang tidak dapat digambarkan suasana itu. kalut. memang kalut. mungkin lebih dari itu.almaklum masih lagi dalam emosi tidak stabil. 2 hari yang lepas, papa menelefon tok abah, dengar kata jatuh dalam tandas. namun, tiada sebarang luka yang serius. sedikit lebam. selain dari itu, kesihatannya elok2 sahaja. segar kata uncle nan (pak cikku di KL)

akhirnya, saya menjadi operator. telefon adik beradik yang lain untuk sampaikan berita.

dipendekkan cerita, papa ke masjid yang berdekatan dengan rumah untuk solat maghrib dan isya. aku, mummy dan si budak kecil itu di rumah. setibanya kami di masjid untuk menjemput papa ke Kota Bharu, terdengar imam dan makmum sedang solat jenazah. siapa yang meninggal??? mencari kereta jenazah, tiada. sedikit keliru. namun, setelah terdengar papa membuat ucapan. hatiku sebak. mereka solat jenazah ghaib untuk tok abah. sedihnya. bukan mudah untuk menerima berita ini.

PENANTIAN

akhirnya kami tiba di rumah uncle uni, (abang kepada papa) di Kota Bharu,

rumah itu. sejuta nostalgia. sebelum uncle uni dan keluarga berpindah ke sana, rumah itulah kami sering bermain bergurau senda dengan tok abah dan tok ma. rumah itulah kami ziarah setiap hari jumaat sejak kecil, sebelum mereka berpindah ke rumah kami dan rumah ibu/bapa saudara yang lain.

mendapat berita jenazah akan tiba dengan MAS pada pukul 12 tengah malam nanti. (sedikit delay sebenarnya) masih lagi terkedu. masih lagi terkejut. disuruh tidur, mata tidak dapat lelap. walau tak makan lagi, namun perut tidak terasa lapar. ke hulur ke hilir. buka alqalam, membaca sedikit ayat cinta dariNya. lega sedikit, namun, penantian ini memang satu penyeksaan.

PENERIMAAN

jam 1 lebih, jenazah tiba. makin ramai yang datang menziarah. ibu/bapa saudara, keluarga terdekat sudah tiba. kotak jenazah yang dibalut khas oleh orang MAS dibuka. diangkatnya jenazah keluar, dan dibukanya kain yang menutup wajah arwah. ya Allah, hanya itu yang mampu terkeluar dari mulutku.

ku lihat, ku tatap, masih kurang percaya. dihadapanku itu jasad datuk ku sendiri yang sudah tiada lagi rohnya.

makin lama, ramai yang sudah pulang ke rumah masing-masing. sedara mara yang jauh pulang untuk berehat. keluarga yang dekat masih segar, ku lihat wajah papa, sayunya, sedih. siapa tidak sedih setelah kehilangan seorang ayah?? baru setahun tok ma pergi, kini tok abah pula menyusul,

auntie ni ( ibu saudaraku yang menjaga tok abah) bercerita apa yang berlaku. sihat beberapa sebelum ini, namun, pada hari itu, tok abah dikatakan demam sedikit. dibawa ke hospital dengan kereta uncle nan, sebelum sempat tiba di hospital, arwah menghembuskan nafas terakhir di sisi anak dan menantu. mungkin heart attack, kata papa.

ku tahu umurnya sudah 92 tahun, ku tahu masanya akan tiba. ku tahu setiap yang hidup akan pergi, ku tahu dia akan pergi selama-lamanya, ye aku tahu semua itu, tetapi hati ini........... hanya Alfatihah sebagai hadiahku buat mu, tok abah

MEMORI

jam 4 pagi, jenazah dimandikan. sempat ku terlelap di sisi budak kecik itu.

mummy kejutkan aku, mengajak aku melihat dan mencium arwah buat kali terakhir, ku turun dan lihat ramai saudara mara, sepupu dan anak-anak mereka sudah tiba, mengambil giliran mencium arwah.

kempunan mencium orang yang tersayang buat kali terakhir akhirnya tercapai jua. kepergiaan tok ma pada tahun lepas, sedikit terkilan, tidak sempat menatap wajahnya buat kali terakhir.aku masih di kolej, setelah tiba di kampung, sudah di kebumikan. kali ini, aku menatap lagi agar wajahnya tidak luput difikiranku. ku ciumnya tiga kali. sejuk. perasaan bercampur baur. oh, tenangnya wajahmu, tok abah,

adik dan kakak sekeluarga tiba dari kuala terengganu. Dia makbulkan doa ibu yang ingin bertemu anaknya. adik sempat mencium arwah. sempat kami berbual, melepas rindu. setelah dikafankan dan dibawa ke masjid untuk solat jenazah setelah solat subuh nanti, tiba sebuah lagi kereta. abang-abang dan kakak, rombongan dari KL.

DI KUBUR

hajat untuk dikuburkan disebelah kubur milik tok ma termakbul jua. dilihat wajah saudara mara, semua mengerti. berborak lagi dengan adik. bercerita kisah silam. kisah bersama tok abah, sayu. bukan mudah berjumpa dengan datuk yang begitu mengingati tiap-tiap cucunya yang sangat ramai.

"Jah, besar nanti jadi doktor kan. tgk tok abah tulis ni. DR. KHADIJAH. untuk siddiq pulak, PROF SIDDIQ."

.................................................................................

lami kami duduk di kubur.kemudian pulang ke rumah tok we dan tok che. menggantikan tidur semalam. habis satu rumah macam tongkang pecah. atas sofa pun jadilah. semalam, kakak di perantau menelefon, hari itu pula, abang di perantau.. sempat berwebcam. merindui kampung halaman.

oh, adakah aku mampu sekuat itu? tempatnya bukan dekat.berbatu batu jauhnya dari rumah,

malam itu, majlis tahlil di rumah uncle uni. alang-alang dah berada di kota bharu, kami tunggu sehingga malam di rumah tok che . lalu baru pulang ke terengganu.

HATI INI

akhirnya selamat tiba di rumah. semua sudah tidur. hanya tinggal aku dan mummy membersihkan sedikit rumah yang ditinggalkan tanpa dirancang. sempat berbual-bual.

"tok abah cakap nak duduk kat rumah kita selepas raya nanti"

"katanya nk raya di Kota Bharu"

" siddiq nangis. lama tak jumpa"

"jah jumpa pun dulu. kat rumah auntie ni. tapi dah lama la jugak. sempat ambik gambar"

"teringat time tok abah duk ngn kita dulu"

...............................................................

aku tidur malam itu dengan ingatan bersamanya.

kini aku sedar, tiada lagi, jah dan tok abah,

وَلِكُلِّ أُمَّةٍ أَجَلٌ فَإِذَا جَاء أَجَلُهُمْ لاَ يَسْتَأْخِرُونَ سَاعَةً وَلاَ يَسْتَقْدِمُونَ

[7:34] Tiap-tiap umat mempunyai waktu ajalnya, maka apabila telah datang waktunya mereka tidak dapat mengundurkannya barang sesaatpun dan tidak dapat (pula) memajukannya.

untuk kawan-kawan

terima kasih, kalian, tiada kata selain semoga Allah merahmati mu.

"sesungguhnya setiap musibah yang berlaku adalah sebagai peringatian untuk esok. mudahan ia menjadi petunjuk supaya kita muhasabah dan terang akan jalan yang hak dan batil. sekembali mereka kepada Allah, sekembali kita pada hukumNya"

semoga roh arwah tok abah, Hussin Bin Taib ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

http://muhammad3011.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/a-tribute-to-my-family/

http://lapan-puloh-tujoh.blogspot.com/2010/07/tok-abah.html

sabar je la

2010-07-10T22:53:00.004+08:00

salam.

post kali ni pendek. tak banyak untuk dibicarakan. ringkas sahaja.

di kala menanti keputusan penuh peperiksaan 2 bulan yang lepas.
atau dengan erti kata yang lain keputusan TOK

"sabar"

mendengar tangisan budak kecil yang mampu memecahkan gegendang telinga, mungkin di skala 20,000Hz di tengah malam buta dan sedang daku diulai mimpi indah
[sungguh berbeza dikala menjaga kakak nya dahulu.huhu]

"sabar"

sedang mengusik si budak kenit dengan senyuman manja, tiba-tiba menangis tanpa henti dan dengan kotak fikiran penuh persoalan, apa salah aku??

"sabar"

terkejar-kejar ke sana ke mari menyelesaikan tanggungjawab dan urusan. dan kadang-kala terpaksa mengorbankan tidur yang sungguh enak

"sabar"

konflik dalaman

"sabar"

dipukul kanak-kanak itu

"sabar"

tempat tidur yang semakin sempit

"sabar"

dan seterusnya.............

itulah hidup. tanpa henti dengan ujian tak kesah kecil mahupun besar. tetap satu ujian hidup.

andai pandai mengawalnya, mampu membuatkan hidup anda ceria.

jika tidak, encik nervous breakdown akan menerjah diri anda.

hanya satu perkataan, mampu mengubah sekalanya.

SABAR

" Berpenat lelahlah kerana Allah, sesungguhnya kesenangan itu selepas kepenatan. Jangan berdukacita kerana hidup ini meletihkan, kerana demikianlah hidup ini diciptakan "

- Imam Syafie -

keputusan peperiksaan itu.

2010-07-05T00:51:00.008+08:00

salam semua. baca sampai habis baru tahu perkaitannya.

teringat peristiwa itu.

anak saudara yang berumur 7 dan 5 tahun bertanya," che su dah kahwin ke belum??" "che su dah ada anak ke belum?" dan seterusnya. masakan seorang gadis berumur 20 tahun perlu menjelaskan satu persatu. adei. satu persoalan.

walaubagaimanapun, cuba banding kan situasi itu dengan situasi ini

dua orang gadis belasan tahun berbual sambil menjamu selera di kafetaria sekolah.

"ey, aku dngr cter ko kapel ngn mamat tuh, tul ke?"

"hehe"

bandingkan pula dengan situasi ini.

dua orang ibu bertemu di kenduri kahwin

"ey, anak awak dah kahwin dengan anak dato tuh??"

si ibu seorang lagi hanya mampu tersenyum

semua perbualan berkisar tentang perkara yang sama. isu yang sama cuma yang membezakan adalah watak dan umur setiap watak.

ini kata-kata saya, anda mungkin berbeza.

manusia mempunyai sifat ingin tahu tanpa mengira umur. dari bayi seawal keluar dari rahim ibu sehinggalah orang tua yang hampir ditelan usia. bagaimana seorang bayi mempunyai sifat ingin tahu?? masakan seorang bayi boleh berhenti menangis setelah merasa sentuhan ibu tanpa perasaan ingin tahu. dengan adanya perasaan ini, seorang bayi boleh mengenal dunia, mengenal manusia sekelilingnya, begitu juga dengan kita semua. kita mengetahui sesuatu dengan bertanya, dengan tingkah laku mungkin.

walaupun semua manusia mempunyai perasaan atau sifat ingin tahu, namun, niatnya untuk mengetahui sesuatu adalah berbeza. sama ada untuk kepentingan diri mahupun untuk kepentingan yang lain. maka, tindakan atau cara menyampai perasaan itu adalah berbeza.

Before thee, also, the messengers We sent were but men, to whom We granted inspiration: if ye realise this not, ask of those who possess the Message.(21;7)

malah, Dia sendiri menyuruh kita bertanya pada yang tahu apa yang tidak ketahui, maka jelaslah bahawa manusia mempunyai sifat itu, tetapi kadangkala menggunakan cara yang salah untuk mengetahui sesuatu perkara contohnya sanggup melakukan apa cara sekalipun untuk mendapatkan jawapan. mungkin sanggup membunuh, mungkin juga sanggup menipu. apatah lagi menyakiti perasaan orang lain. ada juga yang bersikap terlalu bersikap bodoh sombong ( tidak cerdik, tetapi enggan pula menerima fikiran, pertolongan, dsb orang lain;)

hebatnya perasaan ingin tahu, sehingga boleh memecahbelahkan ummat, pergaduhan dan macam-macam lagi.

ok dah. itu sifat manusia dan amat perlu difahami oleh semua orang.

saya akui, saya pun kadang-kadang mempunyai sifat yang ingin tahu yang melampau, adei, tapi setakat ini masih belum samapai tahap membunuh la. hehe.

maka sempena hari keramat iaitu 6 Julai 2010, saya mengharapkan kerjasama semua, anda anda dan anda itu tidak bertanya apa-apa soalan berkenaan keputusan peperiksaan. saya tahu anda mempunyai sifat ingin tahu yang sangat tinggi, hehe.

kenapa?? saya manusia privasi. ya la tuh. hehe. saya perlukan masa untuk menerima semua yang berlaku. tak kira baik atau tidak. 2 tahun hidup di sebuah kolej di tepi ladang kelapa sawit. dan saya masih hidup. satu sejarah agaknya. huhu.

tidak kisah apapun keputusannya, saya hanya berharap dan bergantung kepadaNya. itulah yang terbaik untuk saya, saya terima dengan hati yang terbuka. insyAllah. sesungguhnya saya percaya DIa bersama-sama saya.

dengan ini, saya mengumumkan bahawa saya perlukan masa bersendirian pada 06/07/10

terima kasih. hehe. (cam ape ntah)

p/s kata-kata seorang rakan. terima kasih kawan.

_ _ , jika sesuatu saat fikiranmu diliputi ketakutakn, jiwamu dihantui keresahan, hatimu dibayangi kesedihan, atau dirimu ditimpa kesusahan, maka jangan sesekali merasa putus asa kerana boleh jadi Allah SWT telah mempersiapkan disebaliknya kebaikan n nikmat yang bnyk buatmu. biar yang lepas itu pergi dengan kesyukuran dan berdoalah untuk yang akan datang dengan kepercayaan.

semoga berjaya semua. insyAllah we can make it. we have been go through a lot. just believe in Him.

"ya Allah, hanya kepada Mu kami berharap dan bergantung. berikanlah kami hidayah dan petunjuk"

wallahu'alam.

future leaders

2010-07-03T19:11:00.000+08:00

"don't make a foolish decision ek" said our little minister

"kami sedia mentadbir negara!" haha

"don't forget to pray + du'a"

"don't play2 with me, huh.!"

"one day, i will be like Khalifah Umar" said Umar. huhu

"perlukan air untuk kwsn kampong?? gner la bekas ajaib ni! "

"silaturrahim itu penting. jom buat perjanjian."

"whatever happen, don't forget to give the best smile and more hope"

"i'm going to set new security for our international airport. roger"

"i don't agree with the solutions!"protest with smile.

"enjoy your day. smile is sadaqah"

"macam mana nak atasi masalah media ni?? hurm. kamera di mana2 saja" hehe

"don't worry, i will take care everything"

"unity"

"may I help you?"

"one Malaysia??"

wah!! they are so adorable!! how cute they are if they don't cried in the middle of the night. huhu =)

hohohoh, semua dialog adalah rekaan semata-mata. tiada kena mengena dengan mereka. heheh.
anyway, they are all millenium baby.can you imagine how old they are in 2020??
their age most probably around 20.

what will happen to them? are there still peace in our world or country??? are they still alive that time? nobody knows. but we can predict the future based on country's or world's situation now. war everywhere. people killing people. people who are not valued their live. commit suicide. baby laying in tons of garbage. or near the mosque without parents' love. motorist risk their live for nothing. accident everywhere. hey-if-wanna-die-don't-involve-others syndrome. get-out-of-my-lives symptoms. what happen to the world now??? there are rotten countries everywhere. are they deserve to live??? wohooo. are you god to judge other people lives?? hehe.

nway, i had been watching Japanese dramas for the past two weeks. amazing way of thinking. well, there are people who think that our world need to be rebuilding (in the drama, they refer it to Japan. the country. but i make it more general) they (a group of professional people who believed the country is rotten) used various ways to carry out the plan.such as using viruses, hydrogen bomb, etc. the fact is they are not foolish people, they are professional, expert in technology, virus, strategy etc. but they are slack of humanity, forgiveness and most of important thing is believe and faith in God. they think they can become a god. by choosing people to live. huhuh. i'm not going to write a summary of those dramas and manga. better if u read it by yourself. quite interesting.

this is the link to those dramas and manga. suit for people who have plenty of time. heheh.

Bloody Monday (drama)

Bloody Monday season 2 ( drama)

and this one has quite similar message to the other. but it is a little fiction. still the message is there. to build a new world. but again they are not the one who judge others' mistake.

Death Note (movie )

Death Note 2 : The Last Name ( movie)

Death Note 3: L Change The World (movie)

............................................................................................................................................

this is my comment about their action and the content (refer to the Bloody Monday story).my word.

if it is true, there is a people who can hack into the security system n etc2. .( it is possible since the techno itself is made by human being) our world is totally in danger. there will be no more peace if they misused their ability. but again who are they to decide who is wrong?? who is rotten?? and they act as if human being are perfect. as if they never done mistake. as if they can kill whoever they want. thats come the beauty of religion. Islam. Muslims believe there is forgiveness. nobody perfect. and everyone are giving chance to repent. however, those people in the drama are different. but it does happen in everyday lives. revenge, huh? hatred? n what else?? Islam taught us to forgive. human relation is very important in keeping this world in a better condition.

Mischief has appeared on land and sea because of (the meed) that the hands of men have earned. That (Allah) may give them a taste of some of their deeds: in order that they may turn back (from Evil).(30;41)

yup, it is true. our world is damaged by our own hand. if we said about the natural disaster, it also happen because of humans in the first place. well, i can't give suggestion how to improve world for our children (or future children. hehe) but, what i know and ensure our lives now and hereafter is continue doing good deeds and have faith in Him. it looks simple and easy. but sometimes things are not as simple as what we thought.

this is my word. wslm.

am i growing up or am i growing old??

2010-06-14T22:20:00.008+08:00

salam, all.

lets read this interesting story with an open heart, eye and mind. seriously keep me wonder. happy reading!

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze. 'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.
She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'
'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went... She loved to dress up and she revealed in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery.

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.'
She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose **.'
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.....
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
this story is taken from
http://badarsepintar.blogspot.com/

______________
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.....
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
He did not promise that the way would be easy. but HE did promise He would be with you in every single step of your life.
so, grow up people. see things that happen as opportunity. n don't make reasons.
well, for today, i think i;m both growing old and growing up.

When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to My call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way. (2;186)
well, thanks everyone for the wishes and doa. i'm appreciate it. how lucky i'm to have u all in my life. especially my family. thanks mami, papa for being there where i'm in need. for loving me, and etc2. ouh, so speechless. uhuk2.
thanks friends, for everything.
the most important thing is, thanks Allah for giving me air to breathe, water to drink. n keep me alive until this moment, twenty years You have giving me a lot lot lot and LOT. alhamdulillah.
i love u all.

the hardest battle

2010-06-13T07:29:00.004+08:00

the hardest battle is when you are against yourself. a versus through and through.

tidak semua yang kita suka baik untuk kita. dan tidak semua yang kita tak suka tidak baik untuk kita. sesungguhnya hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui.

kesenangan hidup duniawi boleh jadi tidak baik untuk diri ini.

your life, your choice

perginya tak kembali

2010-06-04T06:31:00.007+08:00

salam. this is kinda a sad post. hurm...not kind of but IT IS A SAD POST.

kali pertama jumpa. first usrah tuk sem 3. dia sem 1. baru masuk.innocent.

mak cik bawak pergi kedai makan Tom Yam (klu tak silap ar. huhu)

first time jumper, friendly nyer budak ni. n banyak cakap.hehe.

tiap2 kali usrah. punye la senang budak ni masok ngn kitorg. da three seniors. huhuh

senang berkongsi.yg plng ingt time tajuk 10 muwasafat tarbiyah. subtopik first. minggu kami ib exam. lagk satu memori time sleepover kat umah mak cik.

time gi seminar belia kat masjid putrajaya. budak tuh jugak la yg bnyk tlng.

kenalkan kawan2 dia.

"ni adik lutfi. ni lak kawan sy kat sekolah dulu.... etc2"

satu ketika dulu

aku: kenal hilal asyraf la ek??

dia: kenal. senior kitorg dulu. hehhe

dan kami borak dan borak dan borak

time netball

seorang rakan, "adik kamu ni kabut tul"

aku menjawab," kabut2. shoot masuk gol jugak. heheh"

die maen gs. aku dah bersara. sekadar tgk dari tepi. pantau adek2 katekan. huhu.

budak tuh sibuk betul. almaklum pegang jwtn besar2. meeting sane sini.

banyak ilmu jugak.

kali TERAKHIR bersua.

aku minta dia dtg ke bilik ku slps paper chem ptg tuh.ader bende yg nk dibincangkan.

lps paper, dtg la si dia.

asl plan nk discuss sal rekrasi siswi yg mak cik rekemen kami pergi weekend tuh.

tp berubah lak jdk sesi luahan hati.

almaklum tgh exam. emosi pun tak stabil. hehe.

"truknyer jwb paper chem td"" argh, bnyknyer salah"" camner akak"

"math HL pun ssh""camner ngn placement" .. n bla bla bla

adei. koyak la jugak aku ni dngr. tp klu pk2 aku ni tgh ib exam kot. hang baru sem 2 exam.

maka bermulalah sesi aku bermotivasi kat budak ni. hehe (jadik kaunselor jap)

"jannah, anda baru di sem 2. nt adder lgk 2 sem. yg dah lepas, lepas la. look ahead. bler korang jdk year 2 nt.." (tak sangke anda tak sempat menjadi year 2.isk2)

lama selepas tuh, bukak pulak story laen.sal macam2 la.(maner leh cter kat sini. dier kater secret kami jer. huhuu) aku duduk je la dngr.

tak der paper pon besoknyer. paper stat luse.

so, leh jer spent mase.

dan aku tak sangke itulah kali terakhir aku jumper dier.

n last ayat dier

" akak klu ader saper2 yg nk jual meja study kecik tuh, bgtau sy ek, sy nak bli.senang nk blaja ade meja tuh"

aku jawab, "maner ader org nk jual. org nk bg trus ader la. nt akak bgtau"

END

SMLM

otw balik rumah dr ambik adik, aku dpt msg

"salam baru dapat berita. Jannah sani blok d meninggal dunia time maen go kart kat langkawi. sama2lah kita sedekahkan alfatihah dan yasin"

aku bc bnyk kali. biar betik.aku kol penghantar msg tuh tuk kepastian.

tp dier sendrk pun tak sure. adei.

nk dijadikan cerita aku bersusah pyh kol all da juniors yg aku ader number.

n las2 dpt no klassmate budak itu.

cerita disahkan. diorg kat balai polis buat report.

dan budak itu sudah kembali ke rahmatullah.

"kami maen go kart, tibe2 tudung dier tersangkut kat engine. tercekik. tak leh nafas. . bawk pegi hospital. pass away otw." terngiang2 lgk kater budak laki klassmate die. sblm bercerita sempat pula kami gaduh. " ni saper?" adei. lemah jer nk jawab. "senior jannah la.senior kolej. merangkap senior ko jugak"

hanya tuhan yang tahu betapa sedih nya hati ni.

hiba. sayu. air mata tak mampu ditahan.

mata tak dapat lelap.ssh gler nk tido. adei. thanks, friends for console me.

tak lama lepas tuh, abg pulak kol dari penang. bertanye ttg dia. oh, sedihnye.

seawal 5 pg, terima panggilan dr mak cik. sedihnya.cerita itu diulang. terdengar suara mak cik serak2. tahan sebak agaknye. mane taknya sedih. kami same2 merentasi onak dan duri kot selame setahun ni.

HARI INI.

pg ni. kak huda pula bertanya.

dikala aku masih dalam kesedihan. ku gagahkan jua drive ke pasir puteh.

penuhi hasrat si adik dan adik junior sekolah dulu tuk bgk sokongan diorg maen final basket.

di kala bersorak gembira kerana menang besar,

aku mendapat panggilan si kawan.

"nk pegi tgk arwah ni" aku diam tak terkata.hati berbelah bagi,

namun, ku gagahi jua tuk senyum buat guru2 yg lamer tak jumper. aduh.

lama kemudian dpt pula msg dr mmbr yg melawat.

"Alhamdulillah. i sempat ziarah kat spital. tp 1 min lambt. kwn dier ckp muka berseri, subhanallah i br lps anta jannah, diorg naik bot polis marin"

tak lama kemudian., abg pula hantr msg update

"salam. 10.30pg; jenazah dinaekkan ke bot polis marin di langkawi untuk ke kuala perlis. jangkamasa 1 jam. dari kuala perlis ke baling, rumah arwah 2 jam, insyaAllah kol 1.30 tengah hari arwah tiba di baling."

owh, hibanya hati ini. siapa sangka dia pergi dulu. siapa sangka itulah kali terakhir aku jumper dier. siapa sangker aku tak kan bertemu dngnyer lagk.

hanya tuhan yg tahu.hanya Dia yang MAha Mengetahui.

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Sebenarnya maut yang kamu melarikan diri daripadanya itu, tetaplah ia akan menemui kamu; kemudian kamu akan dikembalikan kepada Allah yang mengetahui segala yang ghaib dan yang nyata, lalu Dia memberitahu kepada kamu apa yang kamu telah lakukan (serta membalasnya) ". - Al-Jumu’ah (62) : 8

(gambar sekadar peringatan)

ya Allah, tempatkan arwah dikalangan orang2 yang beriman. dariNya kita datang. kepadaNya juga kita kembali.

ajal maut ditangan Allah azzawajalla.-lahuma.

perginya tak kembali-rabbani

p/s post kali ni agak personal dan emosional. namun, itulah yg berlaku.kita tak pernah tahu bila masa kita. cukupkah amalku?? mampukah aku menjawab soalan malaikat maut nanti?

ya Allah ya Rahman ya Rahim, kuatkanlah diriku ni.

all da best, IB 08/10

2010-05-24T00:12:00.010+08:00

salam, all. done with the final exam. alhamdulillah.

now, comes the next exam. huhu. curious ek?

my colleagues will think

"what da heck with another exam?"

" i tot it is already final"

"exam AGAIN?"

"wut kind of exam is after final axam?"

"all da best?? wut do u mean??"

.....n bla bla bla

cool2 bro n sis. chill. let me explain.

bermula hidup selama 2 tahun mencari ilmu di bumi ladang kelapa sawit. huhu.

belajar pelbagai jenis ilmu, dari benda kecik sampai la besar.

dari hidup yang dikerumi kaum hawa kepadalah hidup bertemu kaum adam.

dari hidup sebagai insan yang penakut kepada hidup sebagai insan berani (ye ke?? leaner profile cakap kena jadi risk taker, berani la tuh. heheh)

macam2 ujian dah tempuh.

Did ye think that ye would enter Heaven without Allah testing those of you who fought hard (in His Cause) and remained steadfast? 3;142

ujian semester, ujian interview, ujian placement, ujian fitnah menfitnah,

ujian kesetiaan sahabat, ujian guru-guru, ujian datelines, ujian memilih,

ujian nafsu, dah macam2 lagk la. (not enough space to list out everything, heheh)

kemudian, tibalah waktu menempuh final exam dengan persiapan penuh di dada samada mental, rohani mahupun fizikal.

namun, adakah ujian ini berhenti di situ??

sebelum dan semasa exam final, rajin betul menghadap yang Maha Esa.

sekarang bagaimana??

REAL IB FINAL EXAM 2010

DATE: 23RD MAY 2010 - 6TH JULY 2010

PLACE: AT YOUR RESPECTIVE PLACES

TIME: EVERY DAY, EVERY HOUR, EVERY MINUTE, EVERY SECOND

THINGS TO BRING: HEART, HIS WORD, WEAPON (DU'A)

ALL THE BEST!

tatkala azan berkemudang,

- masih lagi di hadapan komputer,

- online fb "jap"

- update blog la jap

- nak abihkan movie ni skit lgk

- kemas barang la dulu, nt bes skit nk solat

-maen mafia wars.jap. energy skit jer lagk tinggal tuh, pi wut job luh. huhuh

bila nk solat hajat macam kat kolej dulu,

-nanti2 la solat

-bangun qiam nanti la solat hajat (itu kalau bangun, hurm.)

-jap2

bila nak buka quran

- pi belajar masak la dulu, malam karang baca la (itu pun kalau ingat,)

- alamak, cter kat tv dah nak abih, pi tgk luh la.

-nk bace yang mane ek,kat mane last bace ek? cari punyer cari sampai tertido.

n the list goes on.

dulu, kita diuji dengan ilmu pengetahuan, kini, kita diuji dengan iman.

melawan diri tak semudah yang disangka.

dan ujian yang sebenarnya adalah sekarang!!

sejauh manakah anda menerima realiti bahawa peperiksaan sudah tamat.

"soalan td ko jwb yang maner ek??" ko jawab camni tak td?"

"chapter ni kan masuk".. dan seterusnya.

pernah dengar perbualan ni??? selalu.

ini kata-kata saya. anda mungkin berbeza.

apabila perkara yang sudah lepas, dibincangkan bukan dengan niat untuk muhasabah diri, namun, kerana saja-saja tanpa sebarang tujuan, seolah-olah anda mempersoalkan apa yang telah anda lakukan dan menyebabkan diri anda berfikir "kalau la aku letak jawapan tuh, tak de la ilang markah, ...kalau sambung ayat tuh... kalau.... kalau.. kalau.."

tahukah anda bahawa perkataan "kalau" itu permainan syaitan.

langsung kelihatan anda hilang kebergantungan padaNya.

mungkin anda tidak sedar, namun perkara2 sebegini (berbincang setelah exam, bersoal jawab, etc) membawa anda kepada pemikiran itu.

tapi kawan2. saya tidak menyuruh anda membuang semua ilmu itu. tidak sama sekali!!

namun, gunalah ilmu itu untuk memajukan diri, agama dan bangsa.my friend once said, "ilmu Allah bgi utk idop. bru laa berkat.." ilmu itu milikNya. the power of knowledge can change the world. use your knowledge.

bagaimanakah meneguhkan diri untuk terus bergantung kepadaNya??

bagaimana sebenarnya bergantung padaNYa??

hanya ditikar sejadah??

apa khabar iman anda??

sekali sekala perbaiki niat. renew niat.

pengajaran dia, for the exam yang kita duduk lam hall itu, dan keputusannya itulah yang patut kita berserah padaNya. my teacher once said (mrs oja) control what u can control. when it is beyond your control, leave it to Him. so, now, what we should do is continue rely on Him. the Greatest, the Powerful, prepared yourself with du'a and continue solat hajat.

now, ready to fight yourself!!

here are some of the wishes from my beloved friends and teachers.

_______________________________________________________

insyaAllah u can do it, u have study hard n pray hard. beleive in yourself. jng lupe bace doa, rabbiyasir walatuasir, dan hasbunallah wanimawakil, hanya kepadaNya kami berlindung -papa n mami-

mg dmudahkanNya mencapai kecemerlangan. Studi itu ibadah,jgn lupa.mg dpt bnyk kebaikan -abe nan-

salam ***!! hehe all da best!! remember dat everything is already in HIs Plan. pray hard and study smart. "..and whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is SUCCESSFUL .." 3:185-dati-

rabbuna yusahhil. bittaufiq wannajah.insyaAllah.semoga Allah mudahkan & kurniakan kejayaan -bro. muhammad-

O Allah, grant me n my friend the true essence in seeking the knowledge

YAssirlana wala tuassir. and You're the All-Knowing..Ameen! -aisyah-

salam. semoga berjaya n wat yg tbaik. sowi lambat wish. -sab-

my dear fren, gd luck 4 ur final.. my success always be with u -mamee-

akak doa utk ** gak.insyaAllah. Allah bsmamu..uhibbukifilla.ok2 g focus balik.wslm -kak huda-

gud lak 4 ur xm. do ur bes k..pray 4 my success 2. -ain zu-

insyaAllah kamu akan berjaya dengan cemerlang -ckg halimatus-

cikgu doakan berjaya. nanti jadi doktor boleh ubat cikgu. -ckg zalina-

juz nak wish good luck 4 2morrow.all da best ea.k.***** blh wut pnye. Jgn lpe bce doa b4 jwb.sye sntise mdoakan kbhgian n kjyaan k.***..-title: mash-

gud lak fr ur xm -luqman-

all the best, bwt btol2 -fatin ghani-

salam buat *******.. gud luck 4 yr ib exam. try yr best n remember Allah is always there beside u.. -aiman-

umi & papa jam maafkan (jika ada) kami iringi dng doa spy ** brjaya dng cemerlang dunia akhirah & trcapai cita2 -umi sal n papa jam-

gud lak. ma'an najah fil imtihan. -bro safwan-

salam wbt. buat pejuang2 islam yang disayangi,ikhlaskan niatmu. teguhkan pndirianmu..kuatkan smngt sesamamu.kalian x pernah dilupakan dlm doaku. bertenang, moga Allah brsamamu, adik2ku. tenang ya. Allah ada. all da best. -kak huda-

do your best in the exam, and pray for me too. -akmal-

Dino Smart: jgn cuak2...

Dino Smart: chill sudey

Dino Smart: hehe

siti nurul asyiqeen: yeke

siti nurul asyiqeen: iA, yakin dgn bantuan Allah

siti nurul asyiqeen: boleh

siti nurul asyiqeen: teurskan usaha

siti nurul asyiqeen: natijahnye serahkan pada Allah.huu,takpe istighfar

siti nurul asyiqeen: dah teruskan usaha dgn masa yg ade

siti nurul asyiqeen: see the future and forget the past

siti nurul asyiqeen: coz u cant do anything bout the past

paranoid_doctor: bare with it laa kot

paranoid_doctor: klu x

paranoid_doctor: cm tuh je laa study

paranoid_doctor: klu takot

paranoid_doctor: bru r leyh study btul2

paranoid_doctor: Allah is always by our side

paranoid_doctor: wtpe nk takot

paranoid_doctor: stress uh bnyk faedah die

paranoid_doctor: klu x

paranoid_doctor: xde nye dicipta stress nie

paranoid_doctor: bile stress

paranoid_doctor: rptkn diri pd tuhan

paranoid_doctor: mntk ktnangan

paranoid_doctor: mntk permudahkan sume jln

paranoid_doctor: insya Allah

paranoid_doctor: xyh laa takot2

paranoid_doctor: k

syazzy hashimudin: all d best **!

cieqa_ayong Shafiqah: haha.ok.no biggie.gud luck.

atie mAnTap: gud lak **

atie mAnTap: all da besh!!

afiza hanum: okok

afiza hanum: gudluck **

jaja: goodluck and take care **! buat leklok

inn~ Azid: bittaufiq wannajah **!

inn~ Azid: insyaAllah dpt jwb dgn baek

inn~ Azid: aminnn

intan omar: ok.goodluck **!! have faith. sayg jgk! tkcr

norharyani haryani: all the bestt **!

zatie mamein: may Allah leads da way

zatie mamein: =)

Farihin Asnur: Good luck ***** dear^_^!!! Baca bismillah

thanks for the wishes, sorry tak sempat nak taip sumer. ni jer yg mampu. namun tetapku bersyukur punyai anda semua dalam hidup ini.

__________________________________________________________

all da best in this jihad!! we can do it.

wake up and see there are lots of people around us that really care n support us.so, never give up. lets face it together!!

have faith in Him.

yes, he is the one!

2010-03-15T17:06:00.006+08:00

salam, all.it has been a long gap since my last post. typical reason, busy with books. well, back to the purpose of having this blog. i tried my best to update it. but i'm not promise anything.

lets go through the topic. yup, it is true. he is the one, the true consultant, leader, husband, father, etc. but how well we accept the fact? to what extend we know he is the true consultant?? is it because we HAVE TO believe it or is it because we have read, learn, apply the true sunnah and accept it by heart, (not just follow it blindly)??

so, lets read this. SubhanaAllah, after u read this, u will realised that what we know all this time is what The Prophet had teaching us thousand of years back.

this is just a small part of sunnah. thanks, bro for sharing this.

People Study This… Our Rasullah( SAW) is the true blue consultant

I manage to use some of them Effectively but I think this is what true sunnah is all about. Read on…

These were the principles through which the Prophet of Islam (saw) gained that success which has been recognized by historians as the true success.

First Principle: To begin from the possible

This principle is well explained in a saying of Aishah. She said: “Whenever the Prophet had to choose between two options, he always opted for the easier choice.” (Al-Bukhari) To choose the easiest option means to begin from the possible, and one who begins from the possible will surely reach his goal.

Second Principle: To see advantage in disadvantage

In the early days of Mecca, there were many problems and difficulties. At that time, a guiding verse in the Qur’an was revealed. It said: “With every hardship there is ease, with every hardship there is ease.” (94:5-6).

This means that if there are some problems, there are also opportunities at the same time. And the way to success is to ignore the problems and avail the opportunities.

Third Principle: To change the place of action

This principle is derived from the Hijrah. Hijrah was not just a migration from Mecca to Medina. It was to find a more suitable place for Islamic work, as history proved later on.

Fourth Principle: To make a friend out of an enemy

The Prophet (saw) of Islam was repeatedly subjected to practices of antagonism by the unbelievers. At that time the Qur’an enjoined upon him the return of good for evil. And then, as the Qur’an added, “You will see your direst enemy has become your closest friend” (41:34). It means that a good deed in return of a bad deed has a conquering effect over your enemies. And the life of the Prophet(saw) is a historical proof of this principle.

Fifth Principle: To turn minus into plus

After the Battle of Badr, about 70 of the unbelievers were taken as the prisoners of war. They were educated people. The Prophet(saw) announced that if any one of them would teach ten Muslim children how to read and write he would be freed. This was the first school in the history of Islam in which all of the students were Muslims, and all of the teachers were from the enemy rank. Here I shall quote a British orientalist who remarked about the Prophet of Islam (saw): He faced adversity with the determination to writing success out of failure.

Sixth Principle: The power of peace is stronger than the power of violence

When Mecca was conquered, all of the Prophet’s (saw) direst opponents were brought before him. They were war criminals, in every sense of the word. But the Prophet (saw) did not order to kill them. He simply said: “Go, you are free.” The result of this kind behavior was miraculous. They immediately accepted Islam.

Seventh Principle: Not to be a dichotomous thinker

In the famous Ghazwa of Muta, Khalid bin Walid decided to withdraw Muslim forces from the battlefield because he discovered that the enemy was unproportionately outnumbered. When they reached Medina, some of the Muslims received them by the word “O Furrar (O deserters!)” The Prophet (saw) said “No. They are Kurrar (men of advancement) .” Those Medinan people were thinking dichotomously, either fighting or retreating. The Prophet (saw) said no. There is also a third option, and that is to avoid war and find a time to strengthen yourself. Now history tells us that the Muslims, after three years of preparation, advanced again towards the Roman border and this time they won a resounding victory.

Eighth Principle: To bring the battle in one’s own favorable field

This principle is derived from the Ghazwa of Hudaibiyya. At that time, the unbelievers were determined to engage Muslims in fighting, because obviously they were in an advantageous position. But the Prophet (saw), by accepting their conditions unilaterally, entered into a pact. It was a ten-year peace treaty. Until then, the meeting ground between Muslims and non- Muslims had been on the battlefield. Now the area of conflict became that of ideological debate. Within two years, Islam emerged as victorious because of the simple reason of its ideological superiority.

Ninth Principle: Gradualism instead of radicalism

This principle is well-established by a hadith of Al-Bukhari. Aishah says that the first verses of the Qur’an were related mostly to heaven and hell. And then after a long time when the people’s hearts had softened, the specific commands to desist from adultery and drinking were revealed in the Qur’an. This is a clear proof that for social changes, Islam advocates the evolutionary method, rather than the revolutionary method.

Tenth Principle: To be pragmatic in controversial matters

During the writing of Hudaibiyyah treaty, the Prophet (saw) dictated these words: “This is from Muhammad, the Messenger of God.” The Qurayshi delegate raised objections over these words. The Prophet (saw) promptly changed the word and ordered to write simply Muhammad, son of Abdullah.

selamat mempraktik!!

i will try to follow him. try n try, never give up. key to success.

khas untuk rakan-rakanku

2010-02-12T19:04:00.006+08:00

salam, semua. berhenti berehat jap bersama blogger.com. hehehe.

post kali ini agak pendek.

-------------------------------------------------------------

dosa kepada Allah, minta taubat, boleh diampunkanNya

tapi dosa antara manusia, minta maaf, dan bergantung kepada orang itu.

maka, setiap kata-kata dan tingkah laku amat perlu diambil kira.

terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata, hati manusia yang terluka.

kadang kala diam itu lebih baik dari berkata-kata.

maka berkatalah hanya ketika perlu.

andai ada kata yang menusuk kalbu, ada hati yang terluka, dan parut tetap tinggal parut

berhati-hatilah ketika berkata-kata.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

oleh itu, saya menyusun sepuluh jari ingin memohon maaf kepada anda, anda dan anda
andai ada kata-kata, tingkah laku, dan perkara yang menyakiti hati anda.
maaf, ikhlas dari saya.

dalam kerendahan hati, ada ketinggian budi
dalam kemiskinan harta, ada kekayaan jiwa
dalam kelembutan lidah, ada keterlanjuran kata
dalam gurau senda, ada khilaf dan dosa.
harap dimaafi segalanya,
sesungguhnya aku manusia biasa yang selalu keliru dengan diri sendiri
dan sering melakukan kesilapan
semoga tiada dendam disimpan dalam hati
ukhuwahfillah abadan abada
ana uhibbukumfillah.

dear friends, please accept my apolgy.
i'm trully sorry from deep inside my heart.
i never mean to hurt you guys.

tlng bimbing aku pabila aku sesat, pabila aku bersalah.
bawalah aku ke jalan yang benar.

p/s adei, cam emo la pulak. tp seriusly, i'm very sorry.

pss peringatan buat diri n semua. dalam proses kurang bercakap perkara sia2, perlu bantuan anda semua. minta tlng ingatkan, ye.

Ujian itu.

2010-01-19T20:41:00.006+08:00

gambar sekadar hiasan. credit to my lil bro.6 yrs ago.chumil sungguh. hehhe. =P

Salam semua. Tiba2 terasa ingin melukis sesuatu yang indah. Sesuatu yang tidak dapat dijangkakan.

Argh, abaikan. Merepek. Jom refleks diri!

semalam, (cet. Cam diari la pulak.huhuh) paperpun, semua manusia akan diuji. Dia pernah berkata, adakah kamu berfikir kamu sudah beriman sedangkan kamu tidak diuji. So, ini ujian yang dihadapi oleh budak2 di ladang kelapa sawit. (tak semua. Beberapa orang la)

Temuduga. Orang kata penentu masa depan. Bila berfikir begitu, hati dia koyak r. Cuak la bai. Penentu masa depan kot. Kne dpt gak offer ni, one n only kot. N da list goes on... hati penuh kegelisahan. Bila dah tak dapt jwb soklan interviewer dngn baek, koyak dier, pergh, tuhan jer yg tau. (maaf, post kali ni agak tidak formal. Penuh dngn kata-kata pasar. Huhuh) bler dah koyak, aper lgk, mmg bacer buku tak masok otak arr. Pahtuh lak ader klas bisnes. Lgk la sakit. Aduh2. Dah ler exm final lagk 3 bulan lbh. Sakit2. Ngadu la si dia ni kat kawan2, mak, kakak, abg, etc, kesimpulanya satu dunia r tahu kesah si budak ni. Kekoyakkan yang melanda. Si dia ni pun pi ler ngadu ngn sy,

“wey **, camner ni, koyak doh. It is not up to my standard. I did it badly. N bla bla bla” dengar la sy dengan penuh tekunnya. Tp hakikatnyer hati sy pon cuak bai. Kawan dan juga untuk diri ini. Ini jawapan saya untuk anda dan untuk saya juga.

Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery and thats why today is a present.
Appreciate each moment that u have cause u never know what will be happen in the
next few second till the end of your life.

Ptg semalam pi jogging, (aiseh, cam journal la pulak) lepas makan, pi la layan blues jap kat bukit belakng blok. Pergh. Aman2. Duk la situ sorang2. Tgk awan, tgk pokok, tgk rumput, tgk kelapa sawit, tgk langit, etc. Dngr lak lagu open your eyes n insha Allah, bertambah la berketar perasaan tuh. Duduk dan berfikir apa yang berlaku.

Kamu, sudah buat yang terbaik. Apa yang berlaku dah lepas. Dia tak penah tinggalkan kamu. Tidak pernah lupakan kamu. Tp kamu jer yang selalu lupakan dia. Yang sudah lepas itu biarlah ia berlalu.dan syukur la kamu berpeluang mendapat peluang itu. Syukur padaNya. Dia yang memberi itu berlaku. Sekarang, serahkan padaNya. Bila orang tanyer, jawab saja insyaAllah dapat. Kerana sesungguhnya kata-kata adalah doa. Dan kita tidak tahu apa yang akan berlaku. Ingat, KITA TIDAK TAHU APA YANG AKAN BERLAKU. TAK TAHU!!!! Kalau ikut sunahtullah, sesiapa yang berusaha, akan berjaya. Tp klu Dia kata “kun fayakun” apa-apa benda yang mustahil pon blh berlaku. So, yang utama adalah tawakal padaNya. insyAllah kamu akan berjaya. Serahkan padaNya. Yakin la padaNYa. Walau diri terasa tidak dapat lakukan yang terbaik, tetapi persoalannya, sejauh manakah anda tahu bahawa anda tidak dapt menjawab dengan baik kerana perkara itu cukup subjektif, bg anda mungkin tak elok, pandangan orang lain, interviewer?? Siapa tahu?? Dia jer yang tahu dan Dia jer yang memberi izin untuk berlaku, jadi, berserah la padaNya. insyaAllah pandangan mereka terhadap anda adalah yang terbaik. Dan Dia Maha Kuasa dan Maha Besar.

ini pula msg dari seorang sahabat di awl pagi. touching2. thanks, fren. it means a lot.

_ _ , jika sesuatu saat fikiranmu diliputi ketakutakn, jiwamu dihantui
keresahan, hatimu dibayangi kesedihan, atau dirimu ditimpa kesusahan, maka jangan sesekali merasa putus asa kerana boleh jadi Allah SWT telah mempersiapkan disebaliknya kebaikan n nikmat yang bnyk buatmu. biar yang lepas itu pergi dengan kesyukuran dan berdoalah untuk yang akan datang dengan kepercayaan.

Jadi, rakan-rakanku yang sibuk bertanya tentang empunya blog ni pasal interview, ini jawapan saya.

“ insyaAllah akan dapat.(dengan izinNya dan andai itu yang terbaik untuk ku yang telah ditetapkan olehNya.) Dan Alhamdulillah sudah selamt interview tadi dan dapat menjawab soalan itu dengan baik” ^_^ dan terima kasih kepada yang mendoakan dan yang risau akan diri ini. Semoga Allah merahmati kalian. sayang anda semua! 3>

p/s maaf, banyak menggunakan kata-kata yang agak kasar dan pasar. Adei. Untuk kali ni jer kot. Heheh.

p.s.s. maaf agak emo akhir-akhir ini. Hidup tidak keruan.banyak perkara di benak fikiran. Bukan niat ingin menyakiti mana-mana pihak tetapi harap tindakan itu adalah tindakan yang terbaik untuk mengelakkan dari lebih parah. maaf. T_T

kamu adalah kamu

2009-12-18T20:01:00.008+08:00

salam, semua.

lama meninggalkan blog ini bersawang. masih adakah yang sudi membaca?? huhu. almaklum blog ini hanya sekadar mengisi ruang yang kosong. dari tidur memanjang, ada juga faedahnya menulis di sini. bak kate orang "generate otak skit" heheh. asyik di selimuti nafsu tidur.. baik juga berfikir.

baik! dari duduk membebel. jom buka topik! sudah lama memikirkannya, tidak kesampaian mahu kongsi dengan semua. pernah berbincang dengan beberapa kawan, ada yang kurang berstuju dengan pendapat ini. apa pula pendapat anda?

kisah 1

seorang sahabat datang, lalu berkata; " wey, ader org kater aku ni garang tp ........ camner tuh?? aku kner wut aper doh??" aku diam dan tersenyum.

kisah 2

sedang berchatting dengan rakan lama, tiba seorang sahabat mengadu, " **, tul ker aku ni tak cukup sopan santun?? tp aku baik kan, **? " aku menjawab, " ye, kawan. kamu sngt baik"

kisah 3

kali ini, junior pula menghntr msg, " akak, sy ni otai. Camner nk dakwah klu camni. kang nnt org kate saya bw ajaran sesat lak". aku senyum lagi.

kisah 4

adik sendirik. di library, "sis, concious arr. ppl keep on staring, tau la tinggi, jngn arr tgk camtuh. seriously, tak sker. n bla bla bla." (conversation tak henti sampailah ke masjid) bro, i feel da same thing, so chill2. we r in da same boat.

oleh itu, apa pandangan anda? salahkah menjadi seorang yang garang?? salahkah seorang gadis menjadi otai??? salahkah seseorang itu tinggi?

---------------------ini pendapat saya, mungkin berbeza dari anda-------------------------

ringkas. tidak salah menjadi seorang yang garang asalkan tidak memecahbelahkan ummat, tidak salah menjadi seorang yang otai selagi mana tidak menyerupai lelaki, dan tidak salah menjadi seorang yang tinggi kerana itu kurniaan tuhan.

jom lihat sejarah nabi dan para sahabat. 4 orang sahabat yang mempunyai perangai yang berbeza. khalifah umar terkenal dengan kegarangannya, khalifah abu bakar dengan budi bahasanya, khalifah othman dengan sifat pemalunya dan khalifah ali, pula dengan sikap rajin mencari ilmu. walau berbeza, tetap sahabat nabi, tetap dakwah berjalan.

analoginya cukup mudah, tidak bosan kah dunia ini andai semuanya mempunyai perangai yang sama? tidakkah seperti robot atau patung yang dikawal manusia? di'set'kan sama sahaja. jika angguk, bermaksud "ya". tidakkah bosan sebegitu??

cantiknya ciptaan Ilahi. berbagai ragam manusia. tidak semestinya anda harus berubah menjadi seperti orang lain kerana anda sendiri mempunyai keunikan tersendiri yang tiada pada orang lain. kita berbeza pendapat, perangai namun fitrahnya semuanya sama, mencari keredhaanNya. nasihat saya, haruslah berhijrah kepada yang lebih baik, [sempena tahun baru ni. ^_^] namun, andai sikap dan perangai anda tidak menyalahi syarak dan tidak bertentangan dengan agama dan tidak menimbulkan fitnah, apa salahnya kekal dengan sikap itu, yang penting buangkan jahiliyah, tambahkan tarbiyah.

so,wahai sahabat, kawan, junior, adik, just be yourselves! [selagi tidak salah] ^_^

lastly, sayonara jahiliyiah! [perlukan bantuan anda. tlng saya yer. kerja ini bukan kerja mudah]

salam maal hijrah. setahun sudah berlalu, selangkah ke arah kematiaan. hijrah Rasulullah untuk menyebarkan dakwah. hijrah kita hijrah rohani, hijrah emosi,. namun tujuannya sama. untuk mendapat keredhaanNya.

p/s sifat ego camner pulak?? =)

ia sudah berlalu.dan dia pula datang.

2009-09-20T00:41:00.004+08:00

salam semua.

pukul 1.00 pagi, ahad,di rumah dengan ditemani bunyi mercun yang tak reti nk berhenti.

sayu. ntah mengapa. adakah kerana ia telah pergi? atau kerana beraya tanpa kakak di sisi. ngeh2.

(maaf, saya mmg tak tau nk serius)

besok raya.silap2. arini raya. semalam puasa.

______________________________________________________________

ye, hati saya sungguh sayu. satu madrasah tarbiyah telah tamat.

dan kata-kata itu terngian-ngian di fikiran. sedih.

sudah cukup tabiyahkah aku?

sudah taqwakah aku?

hatiku bagaimana?

masih adakah ia pada tahun hadapan?

ini refleksi ramdhanku tahun ini. agak berbeza dari tahun sebelumnya.

1 ramadhan 1430H

- berpuasa di kolej

- ujian IELTS

- rakan2 ramai dah balik

minggu pertama

- puasa di rumah (assignment macam biasa, tak penah tiada)

minggu kedua

- kembali ke kolej

- bermulalah malam tanpa tidur kerana math ia (ditangguh pula datelinenyer)

-keputusan placement sudah keluar. Alhamdulillah, aku redha dengan ketentuanMu

-keputusan mock interview dari MABECS juga turut diketahui, seseungguhnya semuanya adalah dariNYa. special thanks to Mummy,Papa, Sis Dati, Bro Muhammad, Kak Huda, n semua yang terlibat.

-dan keputusan IELTS pun telah diterima. syukur kepadaNya.

-academic day, kata2 dari guru menjadi perangsang(maaf,kami masih budak sekolah! guru bukan lectures yer.)

- hujung minggu, berbuka puasa bersama-sama doktor2/konsultan/specialist/sang murobbi/daie2 di Pusat Bersalin Barakah, Klang, -pengalaman berharga, huhu

-bertemu mereka!

-berbuka puasa bersama rakan sekelas di luar, + konflik dalaman. huk2.

minggu ketiga

-sekali lagi malam tanpa tidur untuk math ia

-businees IA, wolrd lit, dipulangkan kembali, dan bermulalah misi membaikpulih

-majlis berbuka puasa besar-besaran

minggu keempat

-kehilangan cermin mata + hp

-berpuasa di rumah

-assingment macam biasa

29 ramadhan 1430H

- sebelum asar, laptop tidak dapt dibuka a.k.a. crash!!

(dengan ini saya mengumumkan bahawa, saya tiada laptop untuk sebulan.)

tambahan.

-cuba bangun di tgh malam pada setiap malam, tp tidak berjaya hanya beberapa mlm jer.

(tiap2 malam tidur lambat, gara2 assignment) adei.

-konflik dalaman makin bertambah saban hari. muhasabah diri. saya manusia.

-hati.

secara keseluruhan, masa banyak ditumpukan kepada tanggungjawab seorang pelajar.

namun, jika difikirkan kembali. Islam is the way of life. belajar itu juga sebahagian daripada suruhan agama. semuanya adalah keranaNya. jangan sekularkan fikiran!!

semoga amalan yang dilakukan di bulan itu akan terus dilakukan di bulan2 yang lain juga.

p/s banyak juga masa diluangkan untuk berfikir.

DIA DATANG.

ye, dia datang. syawal sudah menjelma.

saban tahun, perasaan untuk menyambutnya sering berbeza.

walau apapun, di kesempatan ini, ingin saya ucapkan

selamat hari raya aidilfitri 1430H

eid mubarak.

taqabalallahuminnawaminkum.

semoga Allah menerima dari kami dan dari kamu.

maaf dipinta andai penah kasar bahasa sepanjang penulisan ini atau realitinya, andai ada yang terguris hati, salah kata, atau sebarang perkara yang tidak menyenangkan anda. maaf.

sesungguhnya saya hanyalah manusia biasa, seorang hambaNya yang hina dan lemah dan sering melakukan kesilapan. maaf ikhlas dari hati. mohon diampunkan.

buat kakak ku, walau raya kita berjauhan, namun, di hati sentiasa dekat.

salam aidilifitri dari kami di Malaysia.dun huk2, ek. hahah.

p/s first time post sesuatu yang agak personal.huhuhu,

a love story

2009-09-16T12:08:00.011+08:00

salam, all.

after having such a gloomy days (cause of limititation to see and mum didn't allow me to drive =(

my bro give me something. a love story. at first I heard the song, i couldn't believe it. it is a story that i know but never had time to appreciate it, to feel the bond created, to feel how beautiful love is in Islam.

people always think Romeo and Juliet story is the best. Titanic is full of love. Taj Mahal is build because of power of love. Laila Majnun, PGL, Twilight n etc2. but have we wonder the love between ar-Rasul, Muhammad and Khadijah? Muhammad, the Mesenger brought the truth when people in jahiliah. it wasn;t an easy job. if you are an Ib student, you should know the Plato Allegory of the cave. when, one of them bring the truth to the others, they didn't believe him and even kill him.

Plato imagines a group of people who have lived chained in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. (wikipedia)

in our Prophet case, we know how people threat him, how they attempt to kill him, how his life is and it was soo painful, but his wife stay with him till the last of her breath. have we realized how much trust she put in him? anyway, enjoy this song! mashaAllah, it is a nice song (the song is at the end of this post, sorry, it is difficult to adjust the html, that is the least i can do) =3

ZAMNILOONI, BY NATIVE DEEN FEAT ZAIN BIKHA

He stepped inside his home, he was overwhelmed with fear

An angel came with words from God, things still unclear

Saying read-read but he could not read, amazing words that he heard

A trembling deep inside his heart, confused by what had occurred

There was only one who could comfort him

To help to see the light

To ease his fears, to reassure

Was Khadijah, his wife

( c/o )

He said, zamnilooni, zamilooni, dathirooni, dathirooni (envelop me, embrace me)

A mighty task has come before me

I need you here with me

By my side

She was a woman of nobility, successful in all her trade

Many wealthy men had asked for me, she turned them all away

But when she saw Muhammad, a shinning moon, may peace be on his soul

He was a light for her

So right for her

Her life will now be hold

But she had never seen him so distressed, as he was there that day

But she would comfort him, and hold him tight, and chase his doubts away

Repeat c/o

We look for stories of love, in places dark and cold

When we have a guiding light, for the whole world to behold

But we’re so selfish in our way, to the ones we hold so close

Our own pleasure and happiness is what we value most

But she sacrificed all her wealth and all everything she had

And he honored her, and gives her faith

When the times were bad, when times were bad

Now years have passed, times had changed, since Khadijah breathed her last

And the message of the one true God, was spreading far and vast

But then he came across some jewellery, that Khadijah had once worn

His eyes become to swell with tears, his heart become to mourn

She was there for him, when the times were rough, and his enemies were cruel

She was the first believer, so keen and eager, to comfort ar-Rasool

Repeat c/o

Mawlaya salli wa salim da iman abada

‘Ala habibika khayril khalqi kulinimi

(Your salutation and blessings forever upon your beloved, and the best of the whole cretion)

Rasulullah

Habibullah

Shafiallah

Nabiallah

Repeat c/o

maaf, hp saya hilang

2009-09-12T16:36:00.006+08:00

salam, semua.

alhamdulillah dengan izinNya, sy selamat tiba di rumah. namun, kali ni bukan hendak menceritakan ttg cuti, tp ttg hp sy yang hilang! huhuhu.

tajuk kali ni agak stret fwrd. tp itulah kenyataan.

ptg smlm......
dalam kekalutan menuju ke LCCT, (dalam kereta) sy mencari-cari mana la hp. ditambah pula cermin mata juga turut sama hilang. difikir kembali, bilik tadi sudah kosong. almaklum akan digunakan ktk cuti nnt. barang2 sudah dikemas, kenapa hp dan cermin mata ku ttp tiada?
dibuka semua beg yang ada. namun, jawapannya tetap sama. tiada.kalut.

setibanya di LCCT, beg bagasi besar itu juga dibuka. namun, tiada. di kaunter check-in diminta bergegas oleh akak kaunter. sy mmndng tiket, patutla waktu boarding sudah tiba. adei.
apalah nasib badan. sy masih mencari-cari. kawan hanya mampu melihat. tiada apa yang boleh dibantu.

sementara menunggu untuk boarding, duduk mencari lagi. dan mencari lagi. hanya doa mampuku pinta. kelihatan rakan sekolej ku cukup ramai menaiki kapal terbang yang sama. tp tak terdaya aku berborak panjang. hanya senyumanku berikan. fikiran masih melayang. dengan penglihatan yang cukup terhad. aku duduk berfikir. adakah aku tidak pandai menjaga barang? atau aku mmg seorang yang kalut? huhuh, aku cuba berlagak tenang. tp hati tetap gundah.
almaklum hp itu banyak nostalgia. dan itulah hadiah hari jadiku dari ibu!

dalam kapal. aku duduk gelisah. buku kecil yang penuh dengan kata-kata Dia ku buka. masih tidak tenang. didengar pula ayat-ayat cintaNya. tenang seketika. namun, fikiranku masih liat mencari jawapan. walaupun berbuka dengan hanya sekotak air anggur, tp perutku tidak memberi sebarang tanda tidak seanng. pergh, dasyatnya kesan kehilangan hp dan cermin mata. sampai reseptor tidak dapat mengesan perasaan lapar. kerana sibuk dengan hormon yang tidak keruan itu. heheh

setiba di KB, ayah ibu, abang dan adik menanti. wah, terkejut, adik balik cuti. maka, bercamtumlah the three musketeers. heheeh. gembira seketika. tp otakku masih belum melupakan hp dan specs yang hilang! ibu menegur, nampak lain tanpa specs. (hendak menggembirakan hatiku) aku berlagak tiada apa yang berlaku, tp mana mungkin dapat lari dari keluarga yang telah membesarkan aku selama ** tahun. adoi.

di rumah nenek, cuba menelefon cikgu kolej, andai dapat bantuan, tp hanya suara operator kedengaran.

sepulangnya ke rumah, setelah makan nasi briyani untuk kali ke-4 bagi minggu ini, aku baring berfikir.

kenapa kehilangan hp ini memberi kesan yang mendalam? kenapa gelisah sangat? penting sangat ke? di manakah hp itu dihati aku? mengapa rasa sedih bila kehilangannya? jika aku kehilangan hidayah, adaakah aku akan sesedih ini? jika aku hilang Islam, adakah aku akan segelisah ini? kenapa hati aku gelisah?

argh, tidak sepatutnya ini berlaku.teringat cerita novel Ranjau Sepanjang Jalan, hasil karya Shahnon Ahmad, konon-kononya pengkritik menyatakan watak2 itu menyerah kepada takdir sahaja. ini bukan masalah menyerah kepada takdir. ini masalah berusaha. ye, kita wajib menyerah pada takdir. tetapi setelah berusaha. dan aku yakin bahawa aku sudah menjaga barang milik aku sebaik mungkin. andai takdir telah menetapkan ia hilang. apa yang boleh aku lakukan? sepatutnyaaku berasa tenang, lepak.

terigat satu ayat Dia,
"Sesungguhnya keadaan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berkata kepadanya: "Jadilah!" maka terjadilah ia. Maka Maha Suci (Allah) yang di tangan-Nya kekuasaaan atas segala sesuatu dan kepada-Nyalah kamu dikembalikan. " yassin, 82-83

segala-galanya patut kembali kepadaNya.
"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu; Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui. " al-baqarah, 216

ye, mungkin dengan adanya hp, cuti ni, saya akan bertambah lagho. mungkin dengan adanya hp cuti ini, mungkin sy tidak menjaga ikhtilat. mungkin. ye, mungkin, kerana semuanya dengan izinNya.

ada seorang rakan bertanya, " bolehkah hidup tanpa hp selama 2 minggu ni??" aku diam dan tersenyum. hp bukanlah segala-segalanya.insyaAllah blh hidup. tidak aku menafikan bhw dlm hp tu ada bnyk no2 rakan2 lama dan baru. network. dan hp itu bnyk nostalgia. namun, kehilangnya tidak dapat disamakan andai kehilangan nikmat dan hidayah.

kehilangan cermin mata pula, menyebabkan sy lebih menghargai mata sy, hehehe. beginilah perasaan bila satu nikmat sudah ditarik.oleh itu, bersyukurlah apabila nikmat yang diberikan masih ada dengan anda.

maka, dengan ini saya mengumumkan bhw sy tiada hp untuk 2 minggu. sebarang perkara penting blhla berhubung dengn sy melalui
ym atau di blog ni atau email sy atau
hp ibu atau telefon rumah. =3

p/s sy cuba menelefon telefon sy, dan alhamdulillah dijawab oleh rakan sekolej.
rupa-rupanya ia terjatuh di blok. so, tak perlula untuk sy membeli telefon yang baru.
jimat duit. heheh tp cermin mata masih belum dijumpai.huhuh

kaki tidur

2009-08-25T22:23:00.004+08:00

salam. hohoho.
memandang ni bulan puasa. bagi sesetengah orang satu bulan yang memenatkan.
ada juga yang mengatakan satu bulan yang paling best, sebab dapat banyak pahala.
TETAPI..
ingat! inilah bulan yang paling mulia. x dernyer agama lain yang menyuruh penganutnya berpuasa sebulan stret pahtuh bagi banyak peluang untuk dapat HADIAH lak tuh dengan solat terawikh, pahala sahur, etc2. ada ke? ada ke? sepanjang pengetahuan saya, tak der pulak. huh, tambah pulaK malam lailatuqadar, pergh, terbaik.

maka, amat penting untuk muslimin muslimat sekalian mengambil iktibar di bulan ni. huhuhu, 11 bulan asyik2 diselimuti oleh selimut *****. oleh itu, bulan ni, jom kita sama2 berubah! bermula dari tabiat yang paling kecil. iaitu tidur!!! huhuhu, lebih2 lagik yang asyik tidur lambat.almaklum stay up study/homework/ tuk member2 di kolej esp. sem 3 amat mencabar iman. huhuh. koyak tul kalau ia tak siap.kadang-kadang tuh tak tidur,

di bulan yang penuh barakah ini, mari sama2 kita ubah sytle tido kter. kepada yang lebih baik,
mungkin dah ada yang tahu, tp ingat-mengingati itu penting. huhuh.

ONE Go to bed early and avoid sleeping before Isha' prayer.

TWO Avoid eating too much before sleeping. If you haven't had dinner after Isha', make sure the dinner is light so you will be able to wake up, and not make you fat too.hohoho.

THREE Ask your housemate, husband/wife (anda lom kawen), parents, or neighbours to help wake you up, or alternatively, use alarm clock, if you can trust it, that is.

FOUR Don't linger lazily for long in bed or keep warmth under your duvet once awake.

FIVE Don't forget adab before sleeping and re-sleeping such as making du'a (supplication), reciting ayat al-kursiy and the last three surahs of the Qur'aan.

SIX Avoid useless talk after Isha'. Lock your bedroom doors after Isha' prayer.

SEVEN Fill your heart with faith and good deeds. For example, reading the Quran or religious book before sleeping. At the same time, protect your heart from such external allurements or keep away from acts of disobedience to Allah. Hence, mind your eyes and ears to what is unlawful for them. Perhaps, midnight movie is such a great shaithan that could make you not able to wake up for Fajr.

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said, "sins are wounds and some wounds can be fatal." Hasan al-Basri was once asked: "Why is it that we cannot uphold prayers at night?" He answered: "You are shackled in your own sins".

EIGHT Bear in mind the great reward for attending Fajr prayer in congregation on time, and the strong rebuke for those who fail to observe it and to satisfy its conditions.

`Uthman ibn 'Affan related: I heard Allah's Messenger p.b.u.h. said: "He who prays `Isha' in jama'ah (congregation) is as if he has prayed for half the night . As to he who (also) prays Fajr in jama'ah, it is as if he has prayed all night." (Narrated by Malik and the wording is that of Muslim who also reported it).

Similarly, al-Bukhari, Muslim and an-Nasa'i related on the authority of Ibn Mas'ud r.a. that he said: The case of a man who slept all night up to sunrise (without waking up for Fajr) was related to the Prophet p.b.u.h. whereupon he said: "That was a man in whose ear shaithan has urinated", or he said "in both his ears".

NINE Bear in mind the bad effects resulting from one's failure to pray Fajr, such as the melancholic and depressive state of mind and the loss of many religious and worldly benefits, and the good effects resulting from managing to perform it. Furthermore, there are many benefits to the health derived from waking up for Fajr prayer.

TEN Waste no time to categorically clear you from the stigma of hypocrisy. Because of the difficulty of waking up for this time, praying Fajr in congregation provides evidence that a person has firm faith and is free from hypocrisy.

That is why in a hadith narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim, the Prophet p.b.u.h. said: "Indeed, the most difficult of prayers to bear, for the hypocrites, are Isha' and Fajr prayers. If only they knew what they are missing, they would sooner come, even if crawling on their knees".

The most worthy companion, Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud r.a. asserted, "The only one indeed who misses them (Isha' and Fajr prayers) is a confirmed hypocrite". Ibn Umar r.a. said, "When we find a man missing from the Isha' and Fajr prayers we nurture suspicions about him".

p/s Fajr prayer = solat subuh, tp before solat subuh tuh, leh solat sunat luh, huhuhu. tak specific tuk bulan pose jer, leh apply pd bulan laen jugak. >_< tips ni dari abang, thanks, bro!

tanggung + jawab

2009-08-03T17:01:00.005+08:00

salam.
just a motivation reminder.

THE RESPONSIBILITIES

tanggungjawab muslim/diri/anak/kakak/pelajar/kawan/
semua tuntut.
laksanakan.

hidup bukan pentas boneka.

never give up. watch this with ur heart not ur brain!
be serious.