depression

salam, all

this is what i did yesterday. well, one way to calm myself other than reading Quran and praying.

DEPRESSION ASSESSMENT!

the result is:................................

in case you can't read it. let me type here.

TOTAL NUMBER OF SYMPTOMS IDENTIFIED IS: 7

YOU HAVE REPORTED EXPERIENCING SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS CONSISTENT WITH WHAT CLINICIANS REFER TO AS "CLINICAL DEPRESSION".. ETC2. ( the rest is not that important)

i bet that happen yesterday, not applicable for today. since i have start go to library and study. huh. have i recovered?? maybe.

so after i did the test, i search for quick tips to overcome it

1. taking the first step to controlling your depression

2. you can move your mood

3. actions speak louder than words(1)

4. action speaks louder than words (2)

5. focus on the positive

6. redefine your problem

7. don't go blaming yourself

8. relax away your sorrows

9. using you imagination

10. get physical

11. open up and share your feelings

thats is the quick tips in case you have the same problem as i do. well, lets see what i have done.

1. taking the first step to controlling your depression

- i still go to class and do my routine, take a bath, go to class, eat, pray, sleep, etc2. and not overacting.i live like a normal person. except not being myself<----- this is another story. to conclude, i did control my depression (sometimes, i guess. huhu)

2. you can move your mood

- hurm, yeah, i think i have done this. i have been laughing out loud in class, i act normal. except under my duvet. my mood?? study mood, huh? hurm, just move a little. knowing the fact that i have exam this wed!!!

3. actions speak louder than words(1)

-totally true. i keep on saying, "yeah, i will do better, i wouldn't give up, bla bla" but it means nothing if your actions is still the same. lazy, moody, loner, cry under duvet at night, etc2 you have to do something!

4. action speaks louder than words (2)- talk already.

5. focus on the positive

- well, i receive an sms from my senior, keep on telling me to think positive,n my sis too.

from my sis,

"its just normal to feel that way

and its just normal for somebody like me (your sister AND medical student) to try and give you some motivation

i guess that will make you realize, you are indeed LEMAH

u need Him to gather youself back seriously

menangislah, berdoalah, mengaku je yang kite ni hambaNya

and semoga Allah SWT bantu kite di sepanjang perjalanan nanti regardless of the tests that He had prepared for us"

hurm. i will try, sis

6. redefine your problem

- i think i have not done this yet. will do. what is my main problem?? myself. my feelings, my action, everything is not right. but it is start with my own brain. so, that is my main problem.

7. don't go blaming yourself

- hahaha. will try.

8. relax away your sorrows

- relax?? i think i have done this. i have been sleeping 10 hours for three consecutive days with tears. hahaha.is it sleeping = relaxing?? hurm, praying is more likely equal to relaxing.

9. using you imagination

- a friend told me to imagine success............trying............

10. get physical

- i used to love jogging back in my country. but not anymore. to busy la. insyaAllah will do. planning to do that tomorrow n lets see the results. huhu

11. open up and share your feelings

- hohoh. this is the hardest part of all. especially when you are not married, your girlfriends are over the sea and in different continent, your family are at a faraway land. and you are a person who are not easily open up your feelings to strangers.and also the fact that i have disable friends post on my wall in fb shows i really didn't want to be disturb. plus, i haven't reply messages and pick up phone.

to tell the truth, i did told my girlfriend who is over the sea, n a senior who is close to me and just now ( few hours ago) i told my sister who is at the other side of the world.

ok. i think i want to add this list.

12. read Quran and back to Him- this is a MUST

From my sis,

you never know how you will perform.

so now you know the results already

so there must be something that can be done to improve inshaAllah

mesti j** ingat kan ayat yang Allah kate, Allah tidak akan ubah nasib sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka ubah apa yang ADA DALAM diri mereka

this is the exact meaning of the ayah

"apa yang ADA DALAM diri mereka" including your faith, your belief, your kebergantungan to Him, your usaha that come from it

believe me, the fact that you are there in g*****

you are there with **** scholar

you can do it, inshaALlah

in a nutshell, i have done almost all, so have i recovered?

tepuk dada, tanya iman.

today, i have go through again all the sms and offline msg that i got from my family and friends.

"ap2 pun don't give up"

"be STRONG

be YOURSELF
vanquish the DOWNCAST feeling
vanquish the NEGATIVE thinking

i am always here for you.

and remember that ALLAH never leaves you.

p/s:saya sayang awak."

"When you carrying a monster load

And you wonder how far you can go
With every step on that road that you take
Allah knows
Allah knows

i know it is hard to do something yg u x minat. but if u already in that path, try hard to succeed in it. mmg berat but try and ask for Allah's help. u need to develop the minat n ikhlaskan hati k. insyallah boleh! :)

n another part of the lyrics:
You see we all have a path to choose
Through the valleys and hills we go
With the ups and the downs, never fret never frown
Allah knows
Allah knows

hidup mmg mcm 2. ad turun naik. so be strong k friends. jgn putus asa. stay strong. i'll b with u guys.

if ad problems just tell me k. i may help u.:)"

"bnykkan berehat, tenangkan minda dan ambillah iktibar.perjalan yang berliku ini tetap harus kita tempuhi, siap sedia utk meneruksan perjuagan, refresh your mind get ready to show your true self, yg kuat lagi semangat, n show others what u r capable of, show to Him that u deserve this fate to be great doc in the future, klu dah ditetapkan anda menjadi doc, maka macam mane skali pon duri dan onak yag ditempuhi, insyaAllah akan jadi doc jugak. so get set n strive for the start, work as hard as u can n pray as hard as u can, coz u re granted with this oppurtunity, jgn sia2kan dan truskan usaha, i truely believ u can do it. seriusly. go n start right now!! do the best u can be!! believed! percayalah pada kemampuan diri! never ever think about quitting k.bangkit semula dan tunjuk kemampuan anda yang sebenar. kerana anda sangat2 mampu, set matlamat baru dan bayankan senyuman kejayaan pd masa depan kelak. remember, i will always pray for u n be there through pain n hardship. always."

"take ur time, rehatkan otak for a while, cari momentum balik, klu rasa stress sngt, try gi salthill then jerit kuat2 kat sane, bg lepas ape yg ad dlm hati, mmg ideally kte kne sabar n tabah with whatever yg dah jadi, tp Allah tau kte manusia mmg lemah n sometime ujian tu Allah bg sbb Allah saje nk dngr kte doa, mohon, bergantung harap kt Dia, klu rajin, try bngn solat hajat, mohon kekuatan from Him, sbb x kire apa sume pon dtg dari Allah kan, even our laughter n cries sume dr Allah"

thanks everyone! but i need more time for myself. thanks for being so understanding.

p.s. interesting fact: i stayed at the library from morning till maghrib.