[SONG] It's Gonna Be Okay

Assalamualaikum and hi!

Here is my latest favorite song by my favorite group musician, The Piano Guys! They are just soooo brilliant with music and instruments. I don't know how to describe but just go and check out their channel on YouTube. The instrumental song are wonderful and soothing. 

Out of topic, they are believers, hurm how to put in words, they are those Christians who are preaching. I think that a better description. Hence, their songs are mostly for the soul, kinda feed the hungry soul that needs love. That is soooo Christianity. (Off note: currently reading on Love & Respect, written by a pastor with PhD) Anyway, that's not the point. I'm not going to meng-kafir you, readers. (since it has been a hot topic recently, regarding RUU 355. Huhu) Well, at least their message bring us closer to God, than those love song who always remind on lovers, daaaa. *maghah makngah. haha* Just joking. It is not wrong to listen to Christians song or in fact reading Bible (habis laa aku, kuar statement macamni) But seriously, if you know your own ground, your own religion, so why afraid of reading on other religions', it should make your faith stronger. But if you are that kind of religion by birth and have no interest on learning about your religion, there are lots lots of things you need to do. Renew your iman, bro and sis. We need to do that here and then. 

If you ask me, there are soooo many other songs on motivation like Maher Zain's or Saif Adam, why this song?

It is catchy. Lols. Not good enough, dear.

The song came when something happen. I was just soo nervous and the song keep on repeating say It's gonna be okay. That's the key in memorizing and learning things. Repeating. Nak hafal ayat quran pun depa suruh ulang banyak kali, masakan wanita hafizah yang tengah period dibenarkan ulang ayat quran. To shows that our brain works that way. It is not as simple as oh he/she is genius. Well, maybe genius in finding out the smartest way to  memorize. But the key point is repeating. *dah lalut dah ni*

So, yeah. That's why this song means so much to me. And I need it now. As a person who don't like spotlight and love being wallpaper have to face the reality. Sampai bila? You need to stand your ground. It's gonna be okay, dear. Huhu. 

 

Okay

“Okay” written by Andy Grammar and Dave Bassett

The Piano Guys Arrangement produced and written by Al van der Beek & Steven Sharp Nelson

Performed by The Piano Guys:

Al van der Beek: Vocals

Jon Schmidt: Piano

Steven Sharp Nelson: Cello, cello percussion

Mixed and mastered by Al van der Beek at TPG Studios, Utah

Doubt is a broken record that play inside my head.

I try to turn it down, but I can't quite drown it out.

I'm tortured everyday, these never ending worries, Pulling on my sleeves.

So many times now I was supposed to tap out.

All the walls would fall around me.

All anybody would tell me, Is all that bad news how it's gonna fall through.

But no matter what they say or what they say,

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY! (a a a ay 3x).

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY! (a a a ay 3x).

No matter what you've been through here you are.

No matter if you think you're falling apart.

It's gonna be OKAY!

And there is a battle raging in yout heart but you must win.

It comes for all of us, saying we are not enough.

So fight for your life. The worlds gonna try.

To sell you some lies.

So many times now I was supposed to tap out.

All the walls would fall around me.

All anybody would tell me, Is all that bad news how it's gonna fall through.

But no matter what they say or what they say,

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY!

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY!

No matter what you've been through here you are.

No matter if you think you're falling apart.

It's gonna be OKAY!

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY!

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY!

No matter what you've been through here you are.

No matter if you think you're falling apart.

It's gonna be OKAY!

It's gonna be, gonna be, OKAY!

It's gonna be, OKAY!

WOAH, WOAH WOAH! (It's gonna be, gonna be)

WOAH, WOAH WOAH! (It's gonna be, OKAY!)

WOAH, WOAH WOAH! (It's gonna be, gonna be)

WOAH, WOAH WOAH! (It's gonna be, OKAY!)

Read more: The Piano Guys - Okay Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

2145

Lot 2745

25 Muharram 1438H

What keeps you going?

During post surgery ward round today, 
An elderly man hold the surgeon's hand and said thank you with tears rolling down the cheeks. 
Manly tears.

That kind of patient keeps me going.

Later that day,
A wife with background history of amputation above the knee on the left side complains of pain on the right leg. She had just lost her husband due to cancer.  She is grieving and giving  up on her life.  She starts smoking again. 

The registrar came. And after listening to her and her daughter's complaints,  he said,
"I believe your husband in a better place.  And do you know what your husband want you to do? "
With low voice she said,  walking.
" yes! Walking! Go back on your feet.  Use your prothesis leg and walk! Even after you fall,  stand up and walk. Do it for your husband's sake at least"

That kind of doctor keeps me going.

Maybe that is the sign from above,  from Him,  The Almighty. 

Don't give up even other people make your life trouble,  miserable,  difficult.
Don't give up even other people is smarter than you. 
Don't give up even you can't answer simple questions. 

Just continue.
If it is not for your own sake,  at least for the sake of those patients who are in "war",
At least for the sake of those doctors who have lots of audit,  bloods to take,  ECG,  discharge letter,  and other odd jobs other than diagnosing people,
At least for the sake of people who are waiting for you at home,  Malaysia,
At least for the sake of your parents,

You (Read=I) are self-sacrificing,  I know.  But that's what you do best.
I saw one picture in Instagram asked,  describe one word about you. 
For me,  self-sacrifice.
I can't find other better word that can describe myself.
Hurm,  maybe skema. 
Ok.  Enough of those negativity. I need more positive vibes here!

"Cancel,  cancel,  go away gone"

Never stop. 
It is not an easy road, but it is not impossible either. 

If you said, "hey,  you are a final year student but you still have time to write blog post.  And yet you said you have lots to study. (tone Malaysia sangat)."  Get lost,  I don't need negative people here.  *maghah makngah.  Lols*

Well,  true story.  I know some people loves to comment on other people's life.  But believe me,  we have a different needs. I don't mind if you want to tell me to reduce my time on blog because I need to study.  (well,  in which,  I don't) or you kind of concern that I get carried away with blog. Seriously, I don't mind if you are concern about me,  but please don't judge.  Tell me what goes wrong and what can I improve and PLEASE guide me and never give up on me.  I have troubled changing my lifestyle.  Lols.  But serious.  It is not easy to change your old habit.
 
Emo? A bit.  I am a slave with full of sins and thousands of weaknesses.  Please bear with me.

So,  what keeps me going?
Hope and Love. 

7 weeks to finals.
Istisyhad
2334
23 Jamadalawwal 1437H

P/s missing the road trip.  Feeling like want to run away.  Hurm.  I should consider uzlah in the next few days.  I am really should. 

Clouds

Cloudy.  Cloud nine. Awan.  High.  Love.  Happy. Happiness. Blind love.

But it also can be...

Cloudy. Suram.  Sad.  Death.  Rain.  Cry. 

Of how clouds can change color,  so does emotions.  It is only a word but it can be used in a sentence in a various way.  (then,  the meaning changes).  I know there are other words too.  But this particular word is very close to me.  Cloud. I love looking at the sky on a clear lovely day, smiling, feeling the breeze, Looking at the clouds moving so fast (typical Eire) and in a split second,  it is getting darker,  and rain flow down like the tears of mine.  (if you are studying psychiatric,  you might think I have bipolar.  Mood swing.  Lols)

On 20th November,  (27 days to exam),  I am a happy kid.  High. Too many good news and blessings from Allah.  Alhamdulillah.  It is just  a beautiful day. Everyone is happy. Indeed a memorable day for all of us. Booster to study.  Gituuuu.  Claudy bak hang. 

On 21st of November, 1230pm local time (8.30pm home time) I have received a single line of whatsapp message that struck my heart.
"innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. Pukul 8.05pm tadi,  Liyana kembali ke rahmatullah"

Liyana is my first cousin.  She is 2 years older than me. Went to study medicine in Dublin and twinning in PMC. She is already working as a doctor (houseman) back home.  But things happened.  Last year,  she was diagnosed with Leukemia. 
As a medical student,  herself is a fighter. She has face lots of difficulties back then.  And now Allah tests her again.  After almost a year fighting cancer (it is not easy.  The environment itself is tough and rough),  Allah loves you more. 

I saw you last summer,  at Tok Che's house.  You seems happy and healthy.
I haven't got a chance to tell you.
You are a fighter. Keep it up. 

I guess it is too late now to say that to you.  But I know Allah is all knowing.  He knows what you have go through and may you unite with soleheen. 

Al fatihah. 

That's another cloudy.  Irony. 

A reminder.  In this world, Allah creates both.  Happiness and sadness.  But both occasions lead to Allah.  Lead to Him.
Be assured,  this worldly life will end and a real life will begin.  Live in dunya like a traveler.

Dear myself, focus on your study.  This is part of jihad. If you died now,  you will consider shahid.  Stay steadfast.  Allah is all knowing.  Death can happen anythime. 

Jodoh dengan tuhan itu pasti. 
Jodoh dengan manusia,  tuhan sahaja yang tahu.

May Allah bless.

91A
9 safar 1437H
1326

Trust

How do you believe in Allah when you couldn't see Him?

Trust.

I guess that's how love works too. 

You couldn't see it,  but you can feel it. 

It is difficult to do but possible.  Sometimes you feel hurt.  But sometimes you feel weird.  And  sometimes you feel happy. 

Have faith. 

Random sangat niiiiii. Haish.  Hormonal imbalance I guess.  When you learn more on endocrinology,  the more you realised how wonderful your body works.  How beautiful Allah creates us,  the human being.  

Thyroid, pituitary,  adrenal.  You can't see it,  but you can feel the effect.  The effect on your mood,  your action,  your emotion,  your appetite, etc.  Isn't it amazing? Subhanallah! All praise to Him,  the most Powerful. 

P/s thank you Allah, the creator of all feelings,  love,  sad,  happy.  Pemilik hati manusia.  

1255

29 Zulhijjah 1436H 

Siobhan McKeena Lecture Theatre

PPG

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said : A muslim is a brother to a Muslim: Neither he wrongs him, nor hands him over (to another). And whoso comes in need of his brother , Allah comes in his need ;and whoso removes a calamity of a Muslim, Allah will remove a calamity from the calamities of the Resurrection Day, and whoso conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his sins on the Resurrection Day' (Bukhari and Muslim)

:)

Tired? Of course.  But that's doesn't matter.  I am glad I did.

Get well soon,  dear!

Booster for few months to come before we meet each other again. 

May Allah protect and bless you two. 

0219
Edinburgh Airport
21 Zulhijjah 1436H

Brotherly love

I have 5 elder brothers and a younger brother. I don't think I need to add more. But that didn't happen.

At a clinic today,

A registrar asked me few questions and being a blurred medical student, I answered what I can. *with a reluctant face as I don't like this rotation *

He stopped doing whatever he was doing and looked straight at me.

"[insert my first name here], this is an advice from a brother to a younger sister"

And I start to cried. Well, not really. Masuk habuk je. Ehehs. Tak tak. Betul tak. Dalam hati je.

I hold back my tears and listen to his advice.

"you will pass but you need to work harder"

It is not that I don't know that. I know. And he gave few other advises. *the new member, a Canadian was there. He is the nice smartest guy in the class*

Later that day, this Canadian being like another brother to me asked me questions.

So today, I have two new caring brothers. Geee.

I used to have protective caring brothers. Well, not anymore as most of them are married. Sobss. *thinking of my last summer, well, they are married but they are still caring as usual actually *

And with what happened today, I feel touched.

I really need to work hard.

I am scared but at the same I am grateful. Allah has send me them to teach me, as a reminder.

Indeed, it has been a stressful week especially when you are doing things that you don't like but you have too. And my girlfriend is still in the hospital :(

Maybe I need to get back on track. Pray pray pray and pray. Balance life. Your body needs it too. Hak yang tertangguh.

Spiritual and mental.

And I'm crying.

I'm crying because Allah still loves me.
I'm crying because I know it is a long tough journey ahead.
I'm crying because I am grateful.
I'm crying because I am exhausted.
I'm crying because I am scared.

Lastly,
I'm crying because I'm just a normal imperfect human being who relies on Allah for everything.

I am just a weak creature with feelings.

All is well.


"Is prescribed upon you [the] fighting while it (is) hateful to you. But perhaps [that] you dislike a thing and it (is) good for you; and perhaps [that] you love a thing and it (is) bad for you. And Allah knows while you (do) not know." 2;216


1923
Corrib River
18 Zulhijjah 1436H

 

50 years of marriage

Just a random chat over a coffee table.

Upon seeing me alone,  drink coffee at a busy hospital's cafe,  an old couple came. 

The wife is 69 years old and the husband is 75 years old. 

Typical conversation,  why you are here *history taking mode.  Lols*

And social chat. Haha.  Adei.

But this statement touch my heart.
"We are 50 years married next year.  We have 3 children,  all grown up and 9 grandchildren.  We are happy :) *

"My advice is if you don't want to go that road,  i. e responsible, living with each other, don't go.  It is very worrisome here.  They get married and separated,  divorced after 2 years" :(

Indeed,  marriage is not just about two people living together,  fall in love etc. It is more than that.  Accept the flaws,  improve yourself.  Nak bina ummah bak hang,  bukan nak bina rumah jaaaa.  *Not as intention to scare you but just to make you aware that.  Just a reminder. It is doable,  thou*

P/s they asked my age and said,  "you look younger than your age!"  Geeeee.  *fly high*

Pst random pictures in my camera phone of my lovely university  :)

1013
Hospital
15 Zulhijjah 1436H

Alhamdulillah

Assalamualaikum dan hi!

Dah ucap Alhamdulillah harini?

Tak perlu tunggu ala-ala putera raja datang melamar baru nak sebut Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu tunggu dapat 4 flat baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu tunggu dapat anugerah pelajar atau pekerja cemerlang baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah

Tak perlu tunggu ia hilang dan jumpa kembali baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu hargai ia bila ia sudah hilang.

Bila ia hilang buat selama-lamanya, nyesal tidak sudah.

Wahai diri, ucaplah Alhamdulillah
Masih merasa nikmat iman dan islam.
Masih merasa pelukan bonda dan ayahanda.
Masih merasa berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan.
Masih merasa aneka kuih dan makanan.
Masih punya kudrat untuk belajar/kerja.
Masih punya kudrat untuk beribadat.
Masih punya hati untuk mencintai dan dicintai.
Masih punya harta untuk sedekah.
Masih punya masa untuk merasa indahnya nikmat tuhan.
Masih punya.........

Alhamdulillah.

Baru selesai menyenaraikan seribu satu peluang dan nikmat tuhan buat hamba ini yang tidak bersyukur. Sobs sobs. T. T

Adinda pergi bermusafir mencari hati katanya. Semoga sentiasa di bawah jagaanNya. Dan semoga mencari apa yang dicari. Harap bukan buah hati :p
Ahhh gonna miss you big times for this two weeks!

Aku pula berkira-kira nikmat yang tidak ternilai. Harap bersyukur wahai diri. Sekian.

Hurm. Tabiat menulis email "What are you grateful for" sudah hilang. Jika dulu, hari-hari. Haish. Harap istiqamah, wahai diri.

Banyak perkara yang perlu di-muhasabahkan. Jangan berhenti. Ini dunia akhir zaman.

Wahai anakku, semoga anda kuat hadapi ujian dunia.

Lot 2740
0002
13 Ramadhan 1436H

P/s pic credit : Google plus. ..... Counting days to go back. *mixed feelings *

[EDITED] in less than 24 hours after I post this, I received the most waited email ever!!! Alhamdulillah!. You have no idea how powerful Allah is! He is The Most Powerful! Done with the flight ticket. Bought all the tickets. Now, counting days for the big day. Ehehs. Big ke? lols.

A true lady

Source: Google Plus

- feeling grateful and hopeful :)



p/s you have no idea the power of kindness until you do it. Expect the unexpected. If you have a right intention, insyAllah Allah will bring you through it. Just do it. Allah is with you :)




Lot 270
1124
12 Ramadhan 1436H

Happiness

- feeling happy and hopeful :)

Mummy ke Mami

Di kala awal pagi. Sahur.

Lambat! Makan la daku nasi, ikan, roti, tauchu, segala yang ada atas meja dengan beriya tanpa pandang kiri kanan. Lols

Papa melihat ku sambil sengih. Terberhenti sekejap dari makan.
Angkat muka, pandang Papa.

Tiba-tiba Papa kata, "Nurun sapo la?" (your looks, inherit dari siapa agaknya?)

Tersedak hanggg. Random betul Papa aku ni pagi-pagi.

Papa tanya, Papa jawab. "not me"
Dan Mami pun menyampuk, "not me either"

Eh eh. Sempat pulak bincang aku ni inherit siapa. Anak angkat ke aku ni? Ehehs.

Dah nak azan dah Papa Mami!

Aku sengih-sengih jawab. "Tok Ma kot. Nama dah sama." ehehs (Tok Ma = My grandmother on father's side)

Mami kata, "hurm. Tok We Joh kot. "

Ambik hanggg moyang terus. Oh dan nama kami pun sama. The three generations with the same name. Cool huh cool. Hoho.

Random di pagi hari. Akhirnya, tiada jawapan dari soalan itu. Saja suka-suka seorang ayah nak usik anak dia yang sedang makan dengan beriya nya. :D

 
By the way, I loves the way Papa looks at me. Penuh dengan kasih sayang. Gitu. Anak Papa la kot aku ni. 

Well, to be honest. Mami is my best friend and Papa is my guardian.

Oh some people spell Mami as Mummy. But we are taught to spell Mami as Ma-mi by our own mum. She taught us how to read so thats how she spell Mami in malay. Kalau tak, bagaimana nak eja Mami dalam bahasa Melayu kalau bukan Ma-mi?

Bahasa jiwa bangsa ok. Ehehs.

"Tidak ada hadiah yang lebih baik untuk seorang anak kepada ayahnya daripada adab yang baik" 

(Hadis direkodkan oleh Imam At-Tirmidzi)

Catatan Dhuha

Perkataan ikhlas senang disebut dan ditulis, tetapi betapa sukarnya untuk diterapkan dalam amalan. Ibadah puasa merupakan mekanisme untuk mentarbiah kita supaya ikhlas dalam amal kerana tidak ada siapa pun yang boleh mengetahui samaada kita berpuasa atau tidak.

Ust Idris Hj Ahmad

7 Ramadhan 1436. 24 Jun 2015 Rabu.

Cukup solehahkah aku untukmu, Papa?

Hurm.

p/s post tentang Mami dah ada dulu. Sekian.dan Happy belated Father's day. Eh, bukan hari-hari ke? Oho.

Lot 2740

1840

7 Ramadhan 1436H

I was wearing heels. So thats mean I am shorter then him. Sekian. 

[SONG] You Are The One

You Are The One:

Lyrics & Melody: Raef 

Arrangement: Maher Zain

Video by: Abdulrahman El Abyad

I thought of this before over a million times

Who would've ever thought that it would be our time?

I just know it, 'cause you're the one

It ain't a selfish love, when I'm with you

You remind me of Allah, and so I know it's true

I'll just say it: you are the one

Chorus:

Won't you be my BFF (best friend forever) and ever?

Won't you be my partner after this world?

We'll see it, when we believe it together

Dreams are meant to be, 'cause you're the one for me

I never thought that I would ever feel this way

I ask Allah to bless you every single day

I'll just say it, 'cause you're the one

And when times are tough, and we've got the world to see

Standing right beside you is where I want to be

I just know it: you are the one

CHORUS

I prayed about this just over a million times

Who would ever thought that I could call you mine?

I just know it, 'cause you're the one

And when there's gray in our hair and we've not much to do

I want to spend the rest of my days with you...

Oh don't you know it?

You are the one, you are the one

Oh won't you be the one?

-------------------------

Bila nak exam, macam ni. Dah mai dahh syndrome ni. -_-'  especially when you are studying on child, kids, babies and mothers. and baitul muslim and tarbiyatul aulad. ehehs. The other side of the coin. *ignoring the diseases, complications etc** Argh .

Ok. Back to books.

2 more days before exam. 

p/s excuse my randomness. Just being "off-form" lately.

91A

2245

15 Rejab 1436H

keep calm and lets study!

How to keep calm? 

Love Allah first. Believe He is The Most Powerful and The Most Adil, tak zalim pada hambaNya. So, how to love HIM? Here the tips!

10 THINGS THAT BRING THE LOVE OF ALLAH

Ibn Qayyim (May Allah have mercy on him) said that there are ten things that bring about the love of Allah.

1) Recitation of the Qur’ an with reflection and with understanding of its meanings.

2) Seeking closeness to Allah by performing voluntary deeds after having performed obligatory ones, for that leads one to the highest levels of love.

3) Remembering Allah during every situation – with one’s time, heart and deeds, one’s share of that love is to the degree of one’s share in that remembrance.

4) Preferring what He loves to what you love when your desires are strong.

5) Allowing your heart to reflect on His Names and Attributes.

6) Reflecting on His many favors and blessings, both the apparent ones and hidden ones, for that leads to His love.

7) Having your heart softened as it is worshipping Allah.

8) Being alone with Him in worship when He descends during the last third of the night. And this means to invoke Him, to recite His Speech, to stand with all sincerity and with good manners and with good submission, and then to end that with repentance and with seeking His forgiveness.

9) Sitting with those who are truthful in their love of Allah.

10) Staying away from all that creates barriers between the heart and Allah.



We ask Allah to grant us His love, and the love of those who love Him and the love of those actions which bring us close to him:) Source

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest." (Qur'an 13:28)
"Therefore remember Me and I will remember you…"(Qur'an 2:152)

Bila nak exam, panic attack mula menerjah. Almost 5 days I am in a state of misery. Haru sangat. Too much things to read. Can you imagine there are 4 BIG modules and they all will be tested in ONE DAY! how crazy is that? Now, you know how misery I am. And here I am writing a blog post -_-' *sigh* Just to keep my sanity and remind me that all is well, all is well. My brother told me, just keep calm, baru belajar senang masuk. So, how to keep calm? Papa kata Remember Allah. Remember Allah. Remember Allah. Dah tuh, apa lagi, pergi la solat zohor. -_-' *Personality Disorder much*

 yosh!!

Apt 15
1321
24 Safar 1436H

Hope

Berharap pada manusia, 

Manusia tidak mengerti.

Berharap pada manusia,

Manusia itu kompleks.

Berharap pada manusia,

Hati gelisah.

Berharap pada manusia, 

Jiwa merana.

Argh

Itu semua nafsu.

Syaitan.

Masakan syaitan akan diam tatkala anak Adam berusaha menjadi hamba yang taat.

Akhirnya, kembalillah pada Sang Pencipta.

Dia yang mencipta hati.

Dia yang memegang hati.

Dia yang membolak balikkan hati. 

Andai ditanya, tidakkah gelisah?

Tidakkah sedih?

Tidakkah cemburu?

Tidakkah.....

Tidakkah.......

Dusta andai dijawab tidak.

Kerana aku manusia yang lemah lagi hina.

Apakah daya aku.

Apakah kudrat yang aku ada.

Apakah boleh aku cari jalan keluar?

Kadang kala, aku tertanya. 

Apakah maksud semua ini? 

Aku cuba tapi sering kali tiada jawapan yang aku temui

Atau adakah aku pentingkan diri sendiri? 

Seribu satu persoalan kerana seribu satu diam membisu. 

Sudahkah kamu menemui jawapan?

Kerana aku buntu,

Hanya satu yang aku harapkan.

Allah, tunjukkan aku jalan yang lurus iaitu jalan yang diredhaiNya. 

Mula tertanya-tanya apakah maksud semua ini.

Redefine the purpose of life.

Repost picture. Mohon terasa wahai diri. 

29 Muharram 1436

2324

Love

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you. The womb is derived from the Merciful, so whoever keeps relations with his family then Allah will keep relations with him, and whoever abandons his family then Allah will abandon him.”

 At-Tirmidhi

Despite love is pain and sacrifice, be merciful.