Sympathy or empathy

Salam and Hi! 

I saw this elderly man yesterday. Pre-opt. At the middle of history taking, two young men who are his sons came and joined the session. They were very nice and caring towards the father (maybe because they are very close with the father as their mother died at early age)

Am I being empathy?

At the hospital corridor today, after a break before next surgery, the two anxious young men came and asked for the condition of their father.

"how's the surgery? "
" when can we see him? "
" they said they just started the surgery" (which is completely wrong. The father is in recovery room.)
"can you find out for us? "

The surgery went well.
Your father is in recovery room.

I wished I can say that.
I wished I can give more information.
I wished I can tell them not too worry.
I wished I can tell them how lucky the father is to have two sons who are always care for him.
I wished I can put them at ease.
But I can't.
Because I am just a student (premature-seven-months- doctor?)

Eventhough when I have become a doctor in the future (amin. InsyaAllah!), I don't think I can say that to the family members. Because it will be just a script. It will be just because your responsibility, your job to tell them. Not because you want to do it. You will be having lots of long operations a day. Even just now, observing a 3 hours lobectomy makes you cranky. Just observe ok. Bukan operate pun. (hurm. I'm might be wrong. Maybe I'll change)

After talking to the sons, I can imagine myself if I were there during my father's CABG operation last 2 years. I can imagine how anxious I will be. Even just watching over the skype, they pull my dad's trolley to the operation theatre give me goosebumps. I can't imagine if I am actually there. Worse. I miss him.

Now I start to relate to my own story. hurm. 

Today, after the operation, I have a very strong feeling. I went to the ward to look for them but they weren't in. And I'm thinking of seeing them this Monday. Hurm. I think I shouldn't.

This is not the first time I feel this. There were times when the patients rejected my request for history taking because they are tired, I was having the same feelings. The consultant scolded me because I don't have the history. I feel bad. Very bad. I told my mom but she said things need to be done, so I should push it. But I don't have the strength to push it. Being sick is suck, cranky, tired. Hadith said that Allah removes the lights (nur) from your face when you are sick. Yup. I saw those faces a lot. And I feel bad to disturb them. :(

There is a reason why you can't take everything personally. Emotional versus logical. Necessary versus unnecessary. You need to take the history and do examination properly to help them to become better. It is important. The interruption is necessary, dear. Not just for the sake of main main doktor doktor okkk. If you can't do it properly now, what will happen to your own future patients?

Be strong!
Overcome the feelings!! You can be empathy but not sympathy.
Jihad kesihatan!
Yosh!

Allah bagi nikmat IQ for the benefit of ummah. Use it.

P/s this is one of the thousands reasons why I want to specialise in primary care whether public health and health promotion or family medicine. Because I don't think I can handle that feelings when working at the busy hospital. Handle feelings are more tired than handle the diseases. Hurm. Emo laaaa.




Comerford
1757
3 Muharram 1437H

re-post the pic.