Clouds

Cloudy.  Cloud nine. Awan.  High.  Love.  Happy. Happiness. Blind love.

But it also can be...

Cloudy. Suram.  Sad.  Death.  Rain.  Cry. 

Of how clouds can change color,  so does emotions.  It is only a word but it can be used in a sentence in a various way.  (then,  the meaning changes).  I know there are other words too.  But this particular word is very close to me.  Cloud. I love looking at the sky on a clear lovely day, smiling, feeling the breeze, Looking at the clouds moving so fast (typical Eire) and in a split second,  it is getting darker,  and rain flow down like the tears of mine.  (if you are studying psychiatric,  you might think I have bipolar.  Mood swing.  Lols)

On 20th November,  (27 days to exam),  I am a happy kid.  High. Too many good news and blessings from Allah.  Alhamdulillah.  It is just  a beautiful day. Everyone is happy. Indeed a memorable day for all of us. Booster to study.  Gituuuu.  Claudy bak hang. 

On 21st of November, 1230pm local time (8.30pm home time) I have received a single line of whatsapp message that struck my heart.
"innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun. Pukul 8.05pm tadi,  Liyana kembali ke rahmatullah"

Liyana is my first cousin.  She is 2 years older than me. Went to study medicine in Dublin and twinning in PMC. She is already working as a doctor (houseman) back home.  But things happened.  Last year,  she was diagnosed with Leukemia. 
As a medical student,  herself is a fighter. She has face lots of difficulties back then.  And now Allah tests her again.  After almost a year fighting cancer (it is not easy.  The environment itself is tough and rough),  Allah loves you more. 

I saw you last summer,  at Tok Che's house.  You seems happy and healthy.
I haven't got a chance to tell you.
You are a fighter. Keep it up. 

I guess it is too late now to say that to you.  But I know Allah is all knowing.  He knows what you have go through and may you unite with soleheen. 

Al fatihah. 

That's another cloudy.  Irony. 

A reminder.  In this world, Allah creates both.  Happiness and sadness.  But both occasions lead to Allah.  Lead to Him.
Be assured,  this worldly life will end and a real life will begin.  Live in dunya like a traveler.

Dear myself, focus on your study.  This is part of jihad. If you died now,  you will consider shahid.  Stay steadfast.  Allah is all knowing.  Death can happen anythime. 

Jodoh dengan tuhan itu pasti. 
Jodoh dengan manusia,  tuhan sahaja yang tahu.

May Allah bless.

91A
9 safar 1437H
1326