Forgiveness

Just finished 2/3 of exams, and another 1/3 more to finish med school. And here I am writing a blog post. Well this is the best I can do to keep myself calm *you can chanting this now. Lols. oh well, 1/3 is another 5 days more. A bit of study break a.k.a waiting for prayer*

Indeed, the past few days were tough. Yesterday was the toughest, almost lost my grip.*get angry with my housemate but she didn't know. Sobs, I guess people never know whether I am angry or not. or maybe she knows but she just ignored? Idk*

Anyway, I guess it is worth sharing here. A reminder to future me and a booster for few more days until exam.

This morning, wake up with listening to 5 hours of youtube lectures on stress, sadness, depression, tribulations, and other synonyms to those negative stuffs. Morning meditation plus cooking halwa telinga. Lols.

Being an introvert and so-called perfectionist, there are no room of mistakes. And it kills.
Kills your mood, motivation, feelings, improvements. That's why Allah keep on giving me tests and mistakes. To uplifts my iman, to teach me, to improve myself to become a better servant, to remind myself,"it is okay to make mistake" Ingat sampai mati.

Even when you make sins, and you repent, Allah forgives you. He is Al-Ghafar, Al-Ghafur. So, why not you forgive yourself? You are so easily forgive other people who make mistake/back-stab/fitnah to you, and you are so easily empathy and sympathy to other people, why not you have a bit mercy on yourself too? Why not you have empathy and sympathy on yourself? Why not you forgive yourself? Why you are being so hard on yourself? Forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself more. Learn to appreciate yourself. It is okay to make mistake. Even Allah forgive His servant, why not you forgive yourself. Don't be too hard, dear. 

So, dear future me, a.k.a 40s year old gorgeous lady, lols,

For whatever happens, relate back to Allah. It is just a small hurdle. You have gone through worse and you survived. Learn to be grateful. Learn from mistakes. Learn to move on. Life is more than that. Cherish each moment. Breath in. It is not the end of the world. Redefine success. Redefine yourself. It is just another test. If you are down, lift up your head to Him. If you are up, lift down your head, prostrate to Him.  At the end of the day, you will be grateful it happens. Keep smiling :) It is okay. It is okay. All is well.

Love, 

20ish year old you. Lols

back to books. 

p/s Here it goes this morning meditation. huhu. Excuse the grammar. Too lazy to check. lols. While you are so down, the least thing you want to do is to check the grammar. 

Istisyhad

23 Rejab 1437H

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