Friday, September 9, 2011

philosophy of life

assalamualaikum wbt,

well, i'm back to reality. the truth about the world, about life. some people say life is like a wheel, sometimes you are at the top, sometimes you are at the bottom. n there is always upside down in this life. well, i do agree. in fact i believe in that. but i fail to understand that when i was at the top.

when something bad happen to you, you always said there must be a reason, it happens for a reason, etc2. but when something good happen to you, have you think the reason behind it?

some people said it is easier to be patience than being grateful of what happen. but i would said, both are difficult to do without faith. if you have faith in Him, everything will be easy. yup, easy to say, easy to write, but difficult to apply.

have you ever experienced constantly got bad news? or something bad that will turn your life upside down? or  something that become your turning point in your life? some people believe there must be a turning point in your life either to become a good or bad person.

as for me, i dont believe that. my everyday life is my turning point. everyday you have to choose what to do. if you choose want to live in the past, then thats it. but if you choose want to do good deeds, than you can become a good person. if you choose today you want to overcome your sadness, than it makes you stronger. so, i would say, everyday is your life turning point. but maybe some people experience something bigger that makes he/she turns 360 degree. but it still depends on what you do everyday.

my life journey is complicated. and it is getting more complicated. the more i think about my future, the more i'm unsure what my future will be, will i be alive till 30s? will i able to get married? will i be a doctor? n etc2.........those questions are remain in my head till those become reality.

new life. is there such thing as new life? yup, i believe that. new environment, new people, new everything. thats new life. but the truth is the definition of new life is based on you. if you define new life as changing your habits, etc2, than that is new life for you. as for me, new life means everything new [environment, mental and spiritual]. not physical. the physical remains the same. but what i think, what i do, may change. and of course norm as human being want something good. change to be a better person.

and it is not easy to change especially when people around you is not as supportive as your family. yup, i do believe environment and people around play an important role in life. some people disagree with this and said that they can change not because of surrounding as long as they have a strong will. well, my strong stand is based on the reason why you change. and extra credit to the people around you. it is not that you change because of people. but you change because you want to be a better person, and people around you help you to achieve what you want to be. those are 2 different things. change because of a person or change with the help of a person.

lastly, good bye old life, welcome new life, humaira. n i dont know whether to look forward to the new life or not. life is complicated. only He knows what is the best for me. "O Allah, please show me the right path in making this decision and please make me stronger. only You knows what is the best for me"

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

battle of hari raya

assalamualaikum and a very good day!

it is still syawal, so here goes my raya diary! haha. diary la sangat.
well, why i wrote 'battle' above, because there were battles everywhere throughout the short and sweet raya holiday. why battle??is it battle to get angpau?? or is it battle to get attention?? naah, not both.

it is a battle to be the best person, to be anak soleh, to be the one who deserve to be in jannah. cool  huh,
and i'm just the observer. the real contestants are 8 years kiddo and below. hohoh.

so, lets the pictures and video tell the story!!

1at day
otw to nye che's house, in the car. having iqra', memorizing surah, and arabic competition. lets see who can answer the most!
berkaroke iqra' otw balik kampong. heheh

video


2nd day - no news since I got fever and had been bedridden the whole day. T_T

3rd day- half of the day. here the highlights!
all the adults were doing preparation for the wedding and done with asr' prayer. forgetting that the kids want to pray too. so, at the end they pray by themselves. one of them become the imam, the other bilal and the rest makmum. *no physical or mental force involve* it is not a role play! they want to do that! willingly, ok.
*this is not a role play. and they pray full 4 rakaat*





4th day- the wedding day. this time battle to help the elders. Can you imagine each one of them running to get present each time people coming with presents. they were waiting in front of the house with big smile and ready to receive any presents. There was a table outside for presents. if it was overflow, then the kids should carry the remaining inside.What really happen was, it wasn't yet full or half full, but they already carried it inside regardless of the weight. 

guests said, "feel like kenduri in the garden" but i said "cam kenduri in semak" :P

this is where the kids and i waiting for the guests

5th day- open the presents! the kiddo love thisss sooo much. hehe. even their uncles and aunties too. :D

6th day- slowly going home. but still full with energy. hehe. i went to visit my new nephew - born on 1st syawal. :) his house has beach at the backyard. dont believe? lets see this.

here is a special open space area at the back of his small cute banglow.  :)


baby Ali. nama sempena amirul mukminin, khalifah saidina Ali.  semoga menjadi anak soleh. :)


video


video
sorry about the video, have to teleng ur head. hehe. dont know how to adjust it. will try later. :P

and throughout the hols, a 7 years-old kid read al-quran every day, never miss it. and in fact crying when his sister took his quran. hohoh. thats lil kiddo. how bout us? the so called adults?? have you read your quran today?

well, thats how i end my raya. now, this house is empty. no kids anymore. huhu.*alert* this entry is not to show off or what. plus, they are not my own children. ambil yang jernih, buang yang keruh. take the good things for the benefit of the future generation because I love our country as much as you do.

lastly, selamat hari raya, readers! sorry for everything. may Allah bless u. kullu a'min wa antum bi khair. semoga berada dalam kebaikan sepanjang tahum, Taqaballahu Minna wa Minkum. may Allah accepts deeds from us and you.

wallhu'alam

8th Syawal 1432H

Sunday, September 4, 2011

refleksi ramadhan'11 : 10 malam terakhir

salam wbt.

*warning! post ini aku tulih pada ramadhan terakhir, namun, belum berkesempatan untuk 'publish'. maaf sangat2.*

jujur saya katakan, kali ini memang benar-benar sibuk. serius! tak tipu!.*dengan muka serius*  dan post kalini pon saya buat dengan keadaan tergesa-gesa. asif jiddan andai ada bahasa yang kurang enak, tak kena, bahasa pasar, bahasa campur dsb, saya taip ikut kemampuan. harap dapat dimanfaatkan semua.

ye, saya tahu ramadhan masih belum berakhir, jika mengikut pengiraan esok sudah 1 syawal. which means another 4+ more hours to go. but i dont know when i will write about ramadhan after this.

jauh di sudut hati saya katakan ramadhan kali ini saya sedih dan sayu. kalau sejak dahulu saya asyik katakan perasaan itu, tapi tahun ini, lebih berbeza. perasaan itu disusuli dengan air mata. 10 malam terakhir. malam-malam yang kini saya rasa agak kesal apabila diimbas kembali TETAPI dalam kesesalan itu saya menemui sinar.

kesesalan 10 malam terakhir


1. susah bangun untuk sahur- apatah lagi hendak berqiam. kenapa? hampir setiap hari 3-4 jam tidur itu adalah biasa.ditambah pula dengan kerja berat di sebelah petangnya.

2. solat kurang khyusuk sejak ditugaskan untuk menjaga anak sedara kerana ibunya belum pulang ke kampung, perasaan risau sering datang menerjah,*kot la jatuh ke, luka ke, ibu mana tak risau?*  itu baru anak orang lain, kalau anak sendiri. T_T

3. helaian bacaan quran makin berkurang, dan hampir sempat membaca hanya satu muka surat sehari  -_-'' apabila mula membuka alkitab, mata mula layu, atau ada yang memanggil untuk bekerja, atau ada panggilan telefon yang perlu dijawab.

4. solat dhuha yang semakin jarang terlaksana- waktu pagi, memang high peak, kerja tak cukup tangan orang kata, kaki pon tak cukup nak jalan, time tuh jugak la kena pergi sana ke mari

5. solat terawih senang lalai- mana tak nye badan letih, lebam-lebam, konflik skit, kerja lak bukan setakat kerja perempuan yang kat dapur tuh, tapi campur-campur semua sekali, *but still cannot beat mum who can do everything, more than what i have done*

 sinar kehidupan dengan kehadiran si permata hati.. :)
source: kakak

namun, aku bertemu sinar disebalik awan mendung.

sinar 10 malam terakhir.

1. . mula menghargai masa-masa yang ada- walau waktu subuh sudah hampir masuk, aku tetap jua solat sunat mana-mana yang sempat kerana aku mengerti bahawa Dia melihat usaha bukan semata-mata hasil, ada hadis juga menyebut, mahfumnya:

Dari Anas dari Nabi s.a.w. sabdanya: "jikalau seseorang dari kamu semua mengantuk sewaktu mengerjakan solat, maka baiklah tidur dahulu, sehingga ia mengetahui apa yang dibaca olehnya"

*ini memang kes-kes ngantuk tahap karma. :P

2. belajar menjadi seorang ibu. hahhaha. ok. serius2, betul. jangan gelak kay. alkisahnya begini, aku ditugaskan (not really ditugaskan, i just felt it is my responsibility) untuk menjaga anak sedara kerana ibunya belum pulang ke kampung. hurm, anak sedaraku itu tidaklah kecik mana, seorang 7 tahun, seorang lagi 5 tahun, but amazingly both can read Quran Karim, they have finish iqra kay.dan kerja aku agak senang la jugak. tak de la susah mana. *menyedapkan hati. hehe* tp seriusly not that difficult. ada la ketikanya solat kurang khusyuk, solat cepat, etc2 tapi memikirkan mereka adalah the future generation, future leaders, mereka adalah pelaburan paling untung di dunia ni tau. eventhough they are not my own children, but remember we can contribute to it. who knows, only Him.

3. kerja, kerja, kerja, kerja, kerja, walau helaian bacaan quranku makin kurang, solat dhuha yang jarang dilaksanakan, akan tetap ku usaha untuk membacanya. :) sinarya ku temui kerja itu juga ibadah. sering kali kter berfikir seorang abid itu hanya menumpukan pada ibadah yang khusus, namun, ,realitinya, kerja itu juga adalah ibadah. silapnya aku pabilla sering mengasingkan istilah ibadah itu yang sebenanrya. selagi kerana Illah, selagi tidak melanggar syarak, selagi itulah ganjaran akan diterima, bukan semata-mata ibadah khusus seperti solat, zakat, dan puasa.kita tak pernah tahu apakah sebenarnya amalan yang mungkin menjadi bekalan kita di akhirat kelak. mungkin inilah amalan nya.wallhu'alam.hanya Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui.

"melayan kakakmu juga boleh dijadikan amalan. hehe" kata kakaku yang masih bujang itu. ngeh. :P

4. Dari Abu Hurairah ra,  Nabi s.a.w. bersabda: " Barang siapa yang melepaskan satu kesusahan seorang mukmin, pasti Allah akan melepaskan darinya satu kesusahan pada hari kiamat. Barang siapa yang menjadikan mudah urusan orang lain, pasti Allah kaan memudahkannya di dunia dan akhirat. Barang siapa yang menutupi aib seorang muslim, pasti Allah akan menutupi aibnya di dunia dan di akhirat. Allah sentiasa menolong hambaNya selama hambaNya itu suka menolong saudaranya. (HR Muslim, Kumpulan Hadis Arba'in An Nawawi hadith ke 36)


when i remember this, it makes me stunt, biarla lebam2 satu badan, mata kuyu, demam, kerana aku percaya pada kata-kataNya walau tak nmpk balasannya sekarang, tapi aku yakin dan percaya akan tiba saat itu, waktu itu di mana pertolongan Dia akan tiba. :)

cukuplah dengan 4 sinar ini mampu menebus kekesalan itu. dengan ini, aku katakan ramadhan tahun ini adalah satu madrsah tarbiyyah yang paling unik sepanjang nafas dikandung badan. dan semoga dengan kekuatan dan kudrat yang masih berbaki, aku mampu meneruskan perjuangan ini dengan lebih kental, melawan hawa nafsu, syaitan yang direjam, untuk 11 bulan yang bakal mendatang.amin.

29 Ramadhan 1432H

p.s menulis post kali ini di kala waktu senggang dan hanya berjaya untuk publish pada hari ini, 6 Syawal 1432H

p.s.s andai masih ada masa yang berbaki sebelum meneruskan jihad, akan ku tulis mengenai raya. dan 20 skema jawapan itu. T_T