Another Ramadhan is gone. A self reflection on this year Ramadhan and Eid celebration.
Fasting 19 hours were indeed challenging. My routine keep on changing but towards the end I know I need to do something before I miss the Laylatul Qadr.
So, what are the obstacles? I don't want to write too details but you'll get general idea. :)
1 - I started at 8am or 9am. Depends. Fajr was at 3am until 5am. It is either you stay up at night until Fajr or you sleep first then wake up later, miss the sahur.
2 - I finished at 5pm or sometimes 7pm. Again depends. Maghrib was at 10pm. Tiredness kills. *but I survived. So, either you sleep or have a good rest before breakfast i.e read Quran, light books, *definitely not medical books. Lols.
3 - My parents were in UK for 2 weeks++ for my brother's conferring. My weekends were full. Went to Edinburgh twice in 2 weeks. No, I'm not complaining. I love it!! Again, the routine was changed. When you are travelling in fasting month and you have a rental car, then you should add in Tarawikh at mosques, break fast outside (so that you can taste different types of local food or your brother's cooking skill)
4 - Celebrations in fasting month! Well happens to be my birthday was during fasting month and my brother was just graduated. We have two special occasions at different time. Lots of things to be grateful. Alhamdulillah.
5 - Moving out. Just to get everything done. Sell old furniture online, Clean up the house, pack all the treasures, throw away lots lots lots of rubbish, and 6 years medical notes. Heartbroken. Sobs. Advice to young medical students, have notes in Google Drive or soft copy. Not hard copy. Technology evolved. Use wisely. Lols. Again, tiredness of sort up things i.e which one to keep, which one to throw, which one to bring home etc. Making decisions are the most tiring thing to do! Huhu. It took me ages to clear up my room. And centuries for the kitchen. Lols.
6- Breakfast invitations. Received lots of invitations from neighbours, friends etc. When Maghrib was at 10pm and you start at 8am on the next day, you don't want to stay late at night, do social activities. You feel your time are precious. Plus, Fajr was at 3am. Of course you want to spend more time with your loved one, Him. The Almighty <3
If you ask me how I did? I don't know. There were ups and downs as well. Not all beautiful. There were times I overslept, miss sahur, miss Tarawikh, etc. It was indeed very challenging. More so when your housemates went on call or went for holiday and you were living alone and your phone goes dead. There were also times when I managed to stay up at night especially at those odd nights, talking to Him, share stories with Him, complaint things to Him. Lols.. Alhamdulillah. I miss those days. To be honest, never in my life feeling like literally searching for Laylatul Qadr. Never. I know about it. But it was always so difficult to get the feeling. The spirit. More so in Malaysia. But this year, I feel the different. In what way? Hurm. I don't know. Less distraction maybe? Less social media? (Fyi, I have deactivate my FB. But not other. Huhu) Maybe that's the reason. Maybe.
In conclusion, there are many things happened in this year's Ramadhan! And surely time flies sooo fast. May Allah accepts our deeds. Amin!
Eid wasn't much different. Be it at home or here. (of course except our family is not here and duit raya) The night of 1st Syawal, the celebration was awesome! We have pelita, kids running around and of course FOOD! The raya itself, we went to takbir at the community centre and 3 open houses! Road trip and convoy! For 20plus year old lady, what do you expect, huh! Be together and eat and eat and talk and laugh. Lols. That's basically our eid. Have another open house during the weekend. But it's okay. 4 are already massive. More so, this is not Malaysia.
As you grew older, your definition of ramadhan and raya are changing. What do you want from each are also not the same anymore.
When you are small, Ramadhan means puasa, khatam Quran, terawih, bazar Ramadan and raya means salam raya, says maaf zahir batin, duit raya, solat raya, baju raya, takbir.
But now, Ramadhan means His present to His servant, doa, hope, bulan pahala, Laylatul Qadr and raya means silaturahim, happiness, joy, back to fitrah. :)
Hence, eid mubarak to all of you and may Allah bless you!
P/s semoga masih ada Ramadhan pada tahun hadapan. Amin! And another new experience of Ramadhan next year? More responsibilities maybe? Semoga Allah beri kekuatan, dipermudahkan segala urusan, dan dimurahkan rezeki. Amin! :)
4 Syawwal 1437H