Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Assalamualaikum wbt and hi,

I have received two news on death of my immediate family for the past month.

Both were sudden death.

My grandfather died at age 91 with diagnosed of pulmonary oedema and organs failures. He was admitted to the hospital for 2 days and died on the day 3. He was well before except loss of appetite.

My uncle, my father's younger brother died at age 60 at home. And the post morterm showed he died of cardiac arrest. He just died last week.

Call home on the day my uncle died and this was my father's response.

Papa: He died at age 60. Rasulullah died at age 63 and I am 67,  given 4 years subsidized. Do pray for my health and hereafter.
Me; T_T we never know, Papa. It could be I am the one who will go first.

To tell the truth, I was sad. But deep inside I was scared. Why?

1) It is certain that we will die. No doubt about that. But when? we don't know.

2) will i be able to let it go the one I dear so much.  It took me weeks to accept that my grandfather had passed away *I spent most of my last summer with him and granny* How about my own siblings, my own parents, my own best friends? will I?

3) what is the end of my life? what kind of death I will face? *recently read the news on youth died at concert due to drugs abuse*  source

4) will people who knows me forgive me if I have done mistakes before? I am scare if I leave this world when there is someone who is hurts because of me.

it haunted me for a month now.

could you please forgive me?

* i am trying hard to forgive every one of you. because I love you for the sake of Allah and I dont want you to get hurt in grave later on because of  my selfishness*

A broken heart that feels like it can never be fixed, and it was entirely someone else’s fault. It would be enough if they had just hurt us, and all we had to do is deal with the pain that came from their actions, but no. Rather, the hurt, the pain, the brokenness…it brought out the worst in us, allowing us to see our own faults, and painful ones at that. How do we go on? How do we move on with life and shift our focus back to the One who deserves it? How do we stop obsessing over the wrongs that occurred and start focusing on the only One who should be obsessed over? One word: Forgiveness.

Pray for those who hurt you. Pray for those who do not accept you. Love them for the sake of God. Pray that they realize their wrongs before they face their Lord. Pray that no one ever has to go through the same thing you did at the hands of this person. Love your oppressor for the sake of God, because love is the only emotion that is strong enough to penetrate a hardened heart, but know it will take time. Perhaps years, but you will be a better person because you chose to take the higher route:Forgiveness.

p/s dear myself, please stay steadfast. Allah is Oft Forgiving and Merciful.