Friday, August 1, 2014

Parut lama kembali berdarah

[a rant]

Manusia itu punya hati.
Kadang-kala luka, kadang-kala berdarah, kadang-kala bernanah.

Manusia itu sensitif.
Andai ditegur, rasa tercabar.
Andai ditanya, rasa duka.

Manusia suka rasa superior.
Rasa hebat.
Tapi lupa.
Ada lagi yang lebih hebat.
Yang Maha Esa.

Jangan pernah terasa.
Walau berada di bawah.
Kerana begitulah manusia.
Hanya seorang hamba.

Manusia itu suka berdengki.
Jika bujang, dengki pada yang sudah berkahwin.
Jika masih belajar, dengki pada yang sudah bekerja.
Jika masih belajar, dengki pada yang pandai.
Ahhh manusia.
Tidak pernah puas apa yang ada.
Terasa ingin ada semuanya.
Tidak bersyukur!

Manusia itu gopoh.
Ingin semuanya dalam sekelip mata.
Seperti ahli silap mata.
Mahu semuanya ada di depan mata.
Kadang-kala lupa yang gopoh itu syaitan.

Sakit hati.
Sakit dengan diri yang penuh dosa.
Sakit dengan perasaan yang memakan diri.
Sakit dengan sifat mazmumah yang sering kali kunjung tiba.

Kembalilah kepadaNya.
Kerana semuannya datang dari Dia.
Lupakah Dia itu jua Yang Maha Kuasa
Yang Maha Penyayang
Yang Maha Pemurah
Yang Maha Mengabulkan
Yang Maha Pengampun

Wahai dosa, pergilah dikau.
Wahai hati, kembalilah
Wahai diri, mohonlah padaNya

Wahai parut lama, jangan dibiar bernanah
Jangan dibiar berdarah lagi
Basuhlah ia dengan zikrullah.

Dear future me,
Whatever happens, keep calm, take a deep breath, smile and pray, dua'. All is well insyAllah. Stay positive and Allah knows best. It is just a test for you to become a better servant. Manusia yang paling tinggi disisi Allah adalah manusia yang bertaqwa. Thats the rank that Allah has put. Not because of your academic performance or your pangkat or your harta. but TAQWA. Ingat sampai mati!

Taqwa = berhati-hati seperti berjalan dijalan yang penuh dengan duri.. Be careful.

p/s Selamat hari raya! Taqaballahu minna waminkum. May Allah accepts our deeds.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

He is the best planner

Assalamualaikum and hi!

I was planning last night that today I will do stuffs early in the morning and bla bla bla. but it didn't work.
I slept at 5 am and woke up late, just about time to go to the hospital to met the reg. *we need to discuss something*

I have decided to wear t-shirt and khaki and sports shoes. Oh well, it is weekend anyway, why bother. I make a quick choice and I choose my Gaza t-shirt. huhu. feeling like pejuang skit. hehe. *you will know later on why I am mentioning ootd here which is sooo unusual*

Off I went to the hospital. and it turned out, he has three operations! oh well, ortho surgeons are always busy during summer.  We make a promise to meet at noon. but end up we meet at half 2pm -_-' a very long wait. I have lots of things I need to do, shopping for my brother's engagement, bank, packing, kemas kemas yadaa yadaa. So, it is kinda a lil bit stressful and I am aiming to go back to Galway today at 5 pm, the last bus. But looking at the condition, hurm, I don't think I can make it.

I cooked a lot last night and thought to distribute some to the reg and neighbor. We finished around 3pm plus plus. I am soooooo happpy!!! It is done!!!! Alhamdulillah!! *except just a lil bit more, but I am done the major work* and I have say a proper farewell to him, the reg! I thought I don't have time to do it since he is always busy. but Alhamdulillah I have say it. *yesterday was with the other buddy* It feels soo good when you manage to express how thankful you are to have good buddy who talk a lot and layan kerenah si blur medical student ni. hehe. but overall, Alhamdulillah. I am so happy. Hoping to see them again this September insyAllah.

Thats not the main story, actually -_-'' So, after I met him, I went to the town. oh, by the way, I have just received message in the morning my mom asked me to buy shoes for hantaran my brother. Bally shoes or Clark or anything like that *remind me of Bally shoes and bunga telur story. hehe* So, I need to do a lil bit of window shopping and yadaa yadaa.

I went to this shop. Well, to find guys shoes is not that difficult especially if it is something casual, leather, black and you know the size. But the difficult part is almost all shoes look the same for me. and it is difficult to choose. geee guyssss. Plus, it is for HANTARAN! bukan main-main. I hate doing shopping alone for someone else. I love shopping alone but if it is for myself. Like this case, I need second opinion. After almost half an hour there, I go out without buying. but I know I need to buy it today because I don't have much time.

And after hop on hop off some shops, I have suddenly saw this......

and I was WOW! in a small town like this, they make the solidarity?! amazing. I want to join but it was kinda awkward. I was alone and no one I knew was there. Erk.

So, I went to the other shop first and thought I might as well join. No regrets. I will be more regrets if I don't. I am just ignore the fact that today is Saturday and most of the shops close earlier than usual.

Allah will help me for sure. and indeed He is The Most Merciful.

I have no regrets at all and I feel more ease.

It was a wonderful experience. I have join one last year in Galway but there were lots of Malaysians and lots of my friends too.

This time. It is different.

I push the boundary. I push the limit, and get out from my comfort zone.

I talk to one lady. We share our grieves, our sympathy over the Palestinians people, we share news.
It is humanity, even we have different skin color, different race, different nationality but we are all united under one. Humanity.

And I was wearing Pray For Gaza t-shirt.

Indeed, He is The Best Planner.

even kids join the march

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya kami letakkan Engkau di batang leher musuh-musuh kami, dan kami berlindung denganMU dari kejahatan mereka. Ya Allah, hancur leburkanlah kumpulan-kumpulan mereka! Kacau-bilaukan persatuan mereka! Cerai-beraikan pakatan mereka! Goncangkan pendirian mereka! Hantarkan ke atas mereka anjing-anjing Kamu! Wahai Tuhan Yang Gagah Perkasa, Wahai Tuhan Yang Bersifat Murka, Wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Menyiksa, Ya Allah, Ya Allah, Ya Allah. Wahai Tuhan yang menurunkan Al-Quran, wahai Tuhan yang menggerakkan awanan, wahai Tuhan yang menewaskan bala tentera Ahzab, kalahkanlah mereka, menangkanlah kami ke atas mereka…"

lets pray for Gaza. shall we. and it is not seasonal. It will be continue until we win! Ameen!

p/s I told the lady named Eva at the demo today that I wasn't plan to came, and in fact I have no idea at all that they will have this today, she was sooo amazed and telling almost everyone the story. Isn't it beautiful how Allah arrange our affair?

If I woke up early and went to town in the morning, I might miss this.
If the reg finish the operation early and I went to the town earlier, I might miss this
If I have decided to cancel the meeting with the reg and don't wait for him, I might miss this.
If my mom didn't ask me to buy the shoes, and I went to town just for a short while, I might miss this.
If I have decided to go back to Galway today, I might miss this.

ياَ حَيُّ ياَ قَيُّوْمُ

Wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Hidup, wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Berdiri Sendiri

بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيْثُ

Dengan rahmatMU aku memohon pertolongan

أَصْلِحْ لِيْ شَأْنِيْ كُلَّهُ

Perbaikilah untukku urusanku semuanya

 وَلاَ تَكِلْنِيْ اِلىَ نَفْسِيْ طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ

On You Who is Everliving and Sustains and Protects everything, I seek assistance through the means of your mercy, correct for me all my affairs and do not entrust me to my Nafs (myself) for the moment of a blink of an eye

Apt 15
22 Ramadhan 1435H

Saturday, July 19, 2014

what have you done?

9 more days to go.
I have one important thing to achieve this year Ramadhan. Allahu. and the clock is ticking.
Ya Allah Al Qawiyy, please give me strengh. Al Wadud, please allow me to love You more than anything else.  Al Ghafur, please forgive my sins :'(

Apt 15
22 Ramadhan 1435H