Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Death

Assalamualaikum wbt and hi,

I have received two news on death of my immediate family for the past month.

Both were sudden death.

My grandfather died at age 91 with diagnosed of pulmonary oedema and organs failures. He was admitted to the hospital for 2 days and died on the day 3. He was well before except loss of appetite.

My uncle, my father's younger brother died at age 60 at home. And the post morterm showed he died of cardiac arrest. He just died last week.

Call home on the day my uncle died and this was my father's response.

Papa: He died at age 60. Rasulullah died at age 63 and I am 67,  given 4 years subsidized. Do pray for my health and hereafter.
Me; T_T we never know, Papa. It could be I am the one who will go first.

To tell the truth, I was sad. But deep inside I was scared. Why?

1) It is certain that we will die. No doubt about that. But when? we don't know.

2) will i be able to let it go the one I dear so much.  It took me weeks to accept that my grandfather had passed away *I spent most of my last summer with him and granny* How about my own siblings, my own parents, my own best friends? will I?

3) what is the end of my life? what kind of death I will face? *recently read the news on youth died at concert due to drugs abuse*  source

4) will people who knows me forgive me if I have done mistakes before? I am scare if I leave this world when there is someone who is hurts because of me.

it haunted me for a month now.

could you please forgive me?

* i am trying hard to forgive every one of you. because I love you for the sake of Allah and I dont want you to get hurt in grave later on because of  my selfishness*

A broken heart that feels like it can never be fixed, and it was entirely someone else’s fault. It would be enough if they had just hurt us, and all we had to do is deal with the pain that came from their actions, but no. Rather, the hurt, the pain, the brokenness…it brought out the worst in us, allowing us to see our own faults, and painful ones at that. How do we go on? How do we move on with life and shift our focus back to the One who deserves it? How do we stop obsessing over the wrongs that occurred and start focusing on the only One who should be obsessed over? One word: Forgiveness.

Pray for those who hurt you. Pray for those who do not accept you. Love them for the sake of God. Pray that they realize their wrongs before they face their Lord. Pray that no one ever has to go through the same thing you did at the hands of this person. Love your oppressor for the sake of God, because love is the only emotion that is strong enough to penetrate a hardened heart, but know it will take time. Perhaps years, but you will be a better person because you chose to take the higher route:Forgiveness.




p/s dear myself, please stay steadfast. Allah is Oft Forgiving and Merciful.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Consultant

Assalamualaikum and hi!

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. it is 2014 and we are still alive as a muslim. Alhamdulillah.

2013 was a very tough year for me. So many things happened. But above all that Allah is very kind. He knows best.

Anyway, done with that. I have already wrote about 2013 in my small magic book. lols. It is just too personal. Will see if there are any benefits in sharing those. If I found one, I will let you know. hehe.

This time I want to share about my consultants. *bukan ngumpat. just mohon contohi peribadinya ye.* ehehs.

there are couples of interesting facts and stories.

1. if you are with a team full with people i.e consultant, SHO, registrar, intern and bunch of medical students. Who will you think will hold the door for you during the ward round? (you= medical students) the answer: the Consultant

2. if you (medical students) have a small group tutorial with a consultant in a small room where there is not enough chairs. Who will you think will sacrifice the chair and sit on the table or find other alternatives? the answer: the Consultant.

3. if there is a conference where all the teams in the department need to be there and there are not enough chairs to sit on and the consultant come late, do you think any of the people (medical students/SHO/inter/reg) will give up their chairs or do you think the consultant will ask for the chairs? the answer is NO. None of them give up their chairs and  the consultant will not ask for the chair. You might think it is kinda rude for the medical students not give up their chairs. But thats the culture. If you come late, regardless of who you are, you will not get the chair. In fact, there are some who give up the chair, but the consultant reject it.*your power/position will not secure your life.*

4. if the consultant make a mistake and it doesn't involve you (the medical student), what will you think he will do? Don't talk about it? Ignore? the answer is NO. The consultant tells the story to us (the medical students) on the spot and how sorry he feel. Well, he did nothing wrong to us. But it is a lesson to be learn to all medical professional although it will require you to bring down your ego.*well, is there any ego in the first place in these creatures?* ehehs

5. if the consultant is too busy and don't have time to teach during the ward round because he has theater afterwards, what do you think he will do? Ignore the medical students and go on with the ward round? Shush away the medical students? The answer is he acknowledge our presence but apologize in advance that he couldn't teach us. But these medical students are too stubborn and stay with him because we know he will teach us regardless of how busy he is. hahhaha. ok, just joking. eventually, we didn't join the ward round. Pity him. We don't want to burden him. Anyway, he did apologize to us TWICE that day! During the ward round and when we met him again later that day. He remembered so well. We don't mind at all. It was not his fault. The society own him. not us. heheh. 

Well, those are not generalization, to be specific it is applicable on this particular hospital and at this particular departments which consist of 3 consultants *surgeon*  Different people might experience differently. But above all that, the message is, just do good to others regardless who you are. Be nice. People love you and Allah love you too :) Rasulullah is the best example. Qudwah hasanah. He never do bad or said bad to others. He did mistake *forgot to say insyAllah story*  but he istighfar afterwards. How about us? sobs sobs

I have another two more stories. Related with religion.

1. Our registrar is a muslim. One day, he has to give a tutorial to us. Well, as a first time, breaking the ice is a must. One of our group members named Sara and she is a Christian, a practicing one. I know her quite well. We did discuss about religion quite number of times in the last 2 years I know her. She is a nice girl :) Anyway, back to the story. Knowing her name is Sara, our reg start this kind of quiz.

R: Did you know your name is the same name as Abraham's wife?
S: yeah, it is in the bible too
R: Abraham has two wives, what the other wife's name? *pointing at me*
M: *geee this is too sudden* erk. *after some time, HAJAR!!*
R; right! Sara's son is Issac (Ishaq). and From there comes Jesus roots. and we are from Hajar's son, Ismail.Come Muhammad.
S; in the bible....*i dont remember exactly.*

ending: the reg said, read the bible again. 

geeeee. wasn't it cool???




ok. not cool for me because I can't answer it straight away. 
Conclusion: keep calm and read seerah :)

2. another story. We have this tutorial with another surgeon consultant. He is a general surgeon. It was supposedly about medical, but it turn out, he talked a lot about other stuffs. Yeah, thats his character. we know so well. hehe. Suddenly, he said,"have you read Irish Times yesterday? No offence. but it was sooo hilarious. The best cartoon strip ever. You guys should go home and search for it. It is online"

here it goes:

source

They make fun of France Prime Minister on his personal affair. lols.
well, at least I know my consultant's stand on this issue :)

another thing he mention in the tutorial: the lifespan of single man is shorter than  married man and the lifespan of married women is shorter than the single women. why? single man tend to neglect their health whereas the married women is dying of stress because of the husband. LOLS.

*it was soooooo hilarious!*

ok. done for two weeks. Lots to learn and learn a lot Alhamdulillah :)

Just do your best in whatever you do. Allah loves those who do their best. 

p/s  Alhamdulillah I have sooo many good news this week until I fall sick today. hehe.

May Allah bless :) 

Quote of the week: housemate saya kata bosan dengan bilik tak pe, jangan bosan dengan suami nanti sudah. ehehs.