Monday, July 27, 2015

[SONG] Seindah Sabar

Seindah Sabar
Lagu : Bazli UNIC
Lirik : Fedtri Yahya
Susunan Muzik : Wan Salleh

Seringkali kita tertanya Mengapakah kita diuji Silih ganti Tak berhenti Kadang kala tak terdaya Ada waktu kita tak mampu Ada waktu kita keliru Kita rebah Meratapi nasib Bangkitkan semula harapan kepadaNya حببنالله ونعم الوکیل نعم المول ونعم النصیر Musibah itu hikmah حببنالله ونعم الوکیل نعم المول ونعم النصیر Sabarlah menempuhi dugaanNya Ujian itu pengajaran Untuk kita renung kembali Dimanakah letaknya keimanan Fikirlah sedalamnya wahai insan حببنالله ونعم الوکیل نعم المول ونعم النصیر Musibah itu hikmah حببنالله ونعم الوکیل نعم المول ونعم النصیر Cukup Allah bagiku Sebaik-baik pembantu حببنالله ونعم الوکیل نعم المول ونعم النصیر Khabarkan berita gembira Bagimu syurga Bagimu syurga Bagimu syurga


Sod ba ro.
Just a little bit more.

11 Syawal 1436H

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Is it worth it?

At the immigration counter,

A gardai (G) and me (K)

G : What are you studying?
K : Medicine.  *say with a big grin on the face.  Hehe*
G : Wow! It is a long journey!
K : Yeah,  it is.  :)
G : Is it worth it?

In a taxi. 

A Muslim taxi driver (M) and me (K)

M : Will you work here after finish or going back home?
K : Hurm, I  don't know.  I heard it is so difficult to get a job nowdays.  (in my head,  I know definitely I will go back home.  But whether I get a job or not.  I don't know)
M : Well,  as a rule of thumb.  It is beyond our control.  It is Allah's.  We just do what we can do and then leave it to Him.  Everything happens for a reason. 

Is it really worth it?  My grandmother asked me once,  why medicine? The course itself is gruesome and hard.  And the job (if you are fortunate enough to get one) .  Well,  as you know.  With those anti vaccines,  on call,  long hours,  sleepless nights.  Don't you think it is worth it? The salary?  I heard it is not much anymore. 

I have another one more year to complete my degree.  Yes.  You read it right.  A degree.  Well,  if you read my older post,  you will know what I have go through.  And I have autumn exam coming in 10 days. 

My journey in medical school is not as easy as A to B then C till Z.  It is A to C,  but sometimes back to B,  there are times I am stay longer in B.  There are times miracle happens.  There are times I feel I want to stop.  There are times I am worried without reason.  There are times I am crying under the duvet without no one knows *and now you know lols*.  There are times I feel strong and full of motivation.  Ups and downs. 

I've just finished reading Who Moved My Cheese.  I really should looking  for new cheese.  And yes,  I am now looking for new cheese with full of uncertainty.  But as a Muslim,  I believe there is new cheese out there.  For whatever reason,  I believe Allah has a better plan for me ahead.  And I just need to keep searching and believing. 

If you ask me why medicine?

My answer will be,  ladang pahala

In a simple word,  I am happy when you are happy. 

Well,  in Islam.  There are lots lots of reason why medicine.  About visiting the sick,  about treating other people,  etc.  You should be grateful, dear. 

P/s I am not comparing medicine with other profession.  I believe we work hand in hand to make the world a better place and as our seeds for the hereafter.  May it grows!

May Allah bless our journey!

9 Syawwal 1436H

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Ramadhan dan aku

Assalamualaikum wbt dan hi. 

Mungkin ini post terakhir sebelum kembali ke medan. 

Jujur.  Muhasabah ramadhan kali ini agak emosional. 

Dari awal ramadhan sehingga malam ini.  Malam terakhir insyAllah.

Air mata sering kali tumpah. 

Entah kenapa.  Sayu. 

Berita suka duka. 

Berita kematian usah dicerita.  Sering menjengah.

Umur makin meningkat dewasa. Mengingsafi amalan diri ini yang makin lanjut usia. 

Ada peperangan jiwa yang berjaya.  Ada yang tidak.  Hari-hari berperang dengan diri.  Selepas ini,  musuh kedua pula tiba.  Wahai diri,  semoga lebih kuat. 

Membuat keputusan tidak lagi sesenang dahulu.  Bukan lagi go with the flow bak kata mereka.  Sekarang,  perlu guna ilmu dan iman.  Berpaksikan Quran dan sunnah.  Ahh masakan mampu jika tiada input.  Sekadar takliq buta kata mereka.

Istikharah dan istisyarah. 

Ada keputusan yang agak berat untuk dibuat namun perlu. 

Ada keputusan yang agak dikesali tapi andai difikirkan kembali tiada penyesalan jika yang disandarkan itu kepada tuhan.

Yang membezakan niat dan amal.  Jangan cakap lebat tetapi dalam hati tidak sama dengan apa yang digambarkan. 

Semoga keputusan untuk terus berada di sini adalah terbaik untuk aku,  agama ku,  keluargaku dan bangsa ku.  Hanya kepada Mu,  aku bergantung harap kerana aku hamba yang buntu. 

Taqaballahu minna waminkum.  Semoga Allah terima amalan kamu dan kita. 

Eid mubarak. 

P/s baru terima peringatan kematian.  :(

Lot 2740
29 Ramadhan 1436H

Saturday, July 11, 2015

It is YOUR road

---- feeling numb

"You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. " - Oprah Winfrey

P/s someone meroyan tak nak balik.  T. T

Ramadhan bakal pergi.  Dia juga akan pergi. 
Meneruskan perjuangan yang belum selesai. 
Masih banyak yang perlu ditempuhi. 
Demi cita-cita yang menggunung. 
Berhenti bermimpi. 
Ini realiti. 
Bangkit lah,  wahai jiwa yang mati. 
Bangkit meneruskan sisa-sisa perjuangan.  
Masih  berbaki.  
Lawan tetap lawan. 
Lawan nafsu durjana. 
Dunia kini penuh fitnah. 
Yang membezakan yang hak dan batil. 
Hanyalah ilmu.  

Bangkitlah,  wahai pemuda.  
Ini jalan kamu. 
Jalan menuntut ilmu. 
Ini jihad kamu.  

Betulkan niat. 
Luruskan saf. 
Dengan lafaz Bismillah. 
Tangan diangkat. 
Dagu didongak.  
Mata berair. 
Hati mengingsafi.  
Hanya kepadaMu,  Ya Rabb,  kami bergantung harap. 
Semoga ia menjadi sedikit bekalan di akhirat kelak.  

#tutupfb #tutupwhatsapp #tutupphone 

Lot 2740
24 Ramadhan 1436H

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

What a world

Assalamualaikum and hi!

I am already at home for about 8 weeks.  When I say home,  it means in Malaysia. 

And in this 8 weeks I have read,  heard,  saw sooo many things happened to my beloved country.  And it made me sad.

From social,  politics, economy to health issues. 

It was all start with GST.  Then the price of petrol increase.  Suddenly,  Tun M talked about 1MDB in which an old story but people just knew?  *well,  I know about it because of my parents,  they read a lottt.*

Greece almost goes bankrupt and our RM value getting down down and down.  Now,  RM1=£6. It was £5-ish before.  Why it happens?  Some people said because of the gov spending and no investor,  some said because of rakyat spending.  I don't know.  What I know is I need to start to save more and give more. 

Social media virals are getting out of control.  A Malaysian student in UK post in FB about £5 that cost him to hate our country.  Then,  it got viral.  People shared,  commented,  criticised the post.  It continued with a Malaysian doctor working in UK criticised the student and she said about homeless people in UK. Again,  it got out of hands.  Another Malaysian student commented on the homeless thing that she mention. A bit of hot discussion there. 

Oh,  the £5 FB post really got a hit.  My phd-to-be-student friend commented on it as well and his post got viral too!  A 'great' discussion at his post.  :(

Oh,  wait!  Thats not everything yet.  We have other news too!

Health issues.  Anti vaccine,  homebirth without supervision from medical professionals,  epidural cause lifelong limp?,  painkillers during labour cause CP?!,  what a nonsense news!

And other public health issues.  You name it.  Typhoid,  dengue,  TB.
The typhoid story,  they still could not find the typhoid Mary who still cook for other people!  Ouh and you don't have any idea how many food sellers out there without typhoid vaccine.  And it is bazar ramadhan season.  *crazy* and the ministry of health has not declared it as outbreak.  Afraid people don't go to bazar ramadhan anymore, huh.  And the food seller will blame the kkm because they lost their income .  Hurmmmmm. Whose fault in the first place, huh?  Yes.  The culprit.  Typhoid Mary. 

MARA and Australia.  Something with money.  Rasuah.  Building.  Not really follow the news.  Too much too digest. What I know is it is another bad news. 

Not to mention about Malaysiakini spinning the news.  Geee.  Even the alternative newspaper could not be trusted anymore. 

One more thing forgot to mention.  The LGBT marriage has been made legalised in US and it got a huge sensation in social media. 

For coming Raya,  someone who is highly educated advise people not to go back a.k.a balik kampung to reduce the spending.  Hurmmmm.  What a statement.  Poor Mami Papa. 

Lastly,  the latest one is Najib has been accused for taking money from 1MDB project. *this is not the term.  Read the news to know the exact economy term.  I am ain't economist.  Lols*

Soooo many negativity and I don't think I can accept more after this. 

What will happen to our next generation? What kind of world will my children live?

"Political subjects are touchy,  and things tend to look black or white on social media when there are no facial or vocal cues to assist people in interpreting your message"- Etiquette expert Louise Fox in RD JULY EDITION. 

I am a silent reader.  I rarely share or comments on issues in FB or instagram.  Because it can get out of hands. 
I am prefer to have a face to face discussion or a debate ala-ala PPM.  Heheh. 

Looking at what happens to our country,  the only thing I can think of is just spread the positivity and Islam has lots of positivity . Hence,  go back to basics.  Islam. 

Selamat memburu lailatulqadar!

Lot 2740
20 Ramadhan 1436H

P/s a friend hold my hands and said this prayer outloud,  Ya Allah,  semoga sahabatku ini mendapat suami yang soleh,  jutawan yang budiman.  Amin'.  Wow.  And I am speechless.  May Allah accepts our prayer and may Allah grant her and her family barakah.  Amin! :) #justapieceofgoodnews 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


Assalamualaikum dan hi!

Dah ucap Alhamdulillah harini?

Tak perlu tunggu ala-ala putera raja datang melamar baru nak sebut Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu tunggu dapat 4 flat baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu tunggu dapat anugerah pelajar atau pekerja cemerlang baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah

Tak perlu tunggu ia hilang dan jumpa kembali baru nak ucap Alhamdulillah.

Tak perlu hargai ia bila ia sudah hilang.

Bila ia hilang buat selama-lamanya, nyesal tidak sudah.

Wahai diri, ucaplah Alhamdulillah
Masih merasa nikmat iman dan islam.
Masih merasa pelukan bonda dan ayahanda.
Masih merasa berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan.
Masih merasa aneka kuih dan makanan.
Masih punya kudrat untuk belajar/kerja.
Masih punya kudrat untuk beribadat.
Masih punya hati untuk mencintai dan dicintai.
Masih punya harta untuk sedekah.
Masih punya masa untuk merasa indahnya nikmat tuhan.
Masih punya.........


Baru selesai menyenaraikan seribu satu peluang dan nikmat tuhan buat hamba ini yang tidak bersyukur. Sobs sobs. T. T

Adinda pergi bermusafir mencari hati katanya. Semoga sentiasa di bawah jagaanNya. Dan semoga mencari apa yang dicari. Harap bukan buah hati :p
Ahhh gonna miss you big times for this two weeks!

Aku pula berkira-kira nikmat yang tidak ternilai. Harap bersyukur wahai diri. Sekian.

Hurm. Tabiat menulis email "What are you grateful for" sudah hilang. Jika dulu, hari-hari. Haish. Harap istiqamah, wahai diri.

Banyak perkara yang perlu di-muhasabahkan. Jangan berhenti. Ini dunia akhir zaman.

Wahai anakku, semoga anda kuat hadapi ujian dunia.

Lot 2740
13 Ramadhan 1436H

P/s pic credit : Google plus. ..... Counting days to go back. *mixed feelings *

[EDITED] in less than 24 hours after I post this, I received the most waited email ever!!! Alhamdulillah!. You have no idea how powerful Allah is! He is The Most Powerful! Done with the flight ticket. Bought all the tickets. Now, counting days for the big day. Ehehs. Big ke? lols.