Thursday, November 16, 2017

Escape death

Assalamualaikum and hi!

It has been quite some time since my last post. No, i am not gonna shut this blog down. It is just....... Okay, another excuse. 'Being busy' lols. Typical me.

Anyway, my pregnancy journey worth to keep here. To remind future me, my 13 years old son later on and my husband. To remind us how we escape death. (well, it doesn't sounds right as we know no one can escape death, it is a fate. But in our case, with our limited knowledge, compare to Allah's, obviously, we see it as we did escape death with His Ar Rahman)

So here it is,
I survived complete placenta previa (also known as Grade 4 Placenta Previa) at 38 +4  weeks pregnant.
And yes, i have go through C-Sec, but no, it is not elective. It was emergency c-sec.
I don't want to write how they missed the placenta previa, or how they treat me initially, no, i don't want to have any blame game here. I am still alive, baby is healthy and all of us are grateful for that.
Enough.

But what I want to write is my pregnancy journey. Flashback to 9 months earlier. So that we remember how grateful we are.

We just married 11 months ago, 29th January 2017, I was a housewife, not yet a house officer. Lols.
A fulltime housewife. We start our life, living together under one roof in a small apartment. Adjusting phase they said.
Learnt about each other, and still learning actually.
My favourite quote at that time was, "kahwin dahhh, with my classmate" lols.
I can't remember how many times I said that. Because it was still unbelievable.
Anyway, fast forward. I missed my period for few days. And as a graduate from Irish system, we knew folic acid should be consume 3 months before conceive to prevent neural tube defect. It is before. B.e.f.o.r.e.

So, as worried I am, I told my husband about my period, about folic acid yadaa yadaa, and being a cool husband, he brought back home 2 UPT (urine pregnancy test) And being myself who dont care about drama or surprises or yadaa yadaaa,  did the test and asked him to interpret. No, there was no such thing as, surprise, abang! Hahaha but instead, abang, betul ke ni? Ce abang tengok, abang, abang, abang, hahaha

A nagging wife. Oh well. ( and I repeat the test on the next day because I cant believe it I am pregnant!!)

And my husband on the first response was overexcited, whereas I was in shock haha. The decision to have a child as early as possible was our decision, not his alone. But we didnt expect this soon. So, Alhamdulillah. All praise to Him, The Almighty.

So, thats it. I am pregnant. Did the necessary thing, made a booking visit, open the pink book, etc
And alhamdulillah my first trimester experienced was uneventful, still managed to cook, did the housework, no vomiting, just i cant tolerate rice as much as before. Thats it.

Then later,  16 weeks pregnant, I started as a HO, and it also means we were going to start a long distance relationship (LDR) It was in our plan.  and Alhamdulillah so far everything worked as plan. Eventhough it was a bit difficult.

We both admitted LDR wasnt easy. But we both tried very hard to make it possible. There were times I was too emotional (blame the pregnancy hormones. Lols) there were times I was being too attached to him. But at the end, I know I need to be strong. And he is always there whenever I need.

Starting in surgical department as my first posting wasnt a bad idea at all. It was indeed tiring. Both emotional and physical. I defaulted my antenatal appointment for 6 weeks. Went to private clinic only when he came down to meet me. I know I shouldnt do that. But this profession drained sooo much of my energy.  -alasan. Hahah. Eh betul la.

Anyway, I survived 4 months in surgical department, without extension and created beautiful memories. And friends of course. So, thats my second trimester and Alhamdulillah uneventful, my little boy grow healthy in my tummy, no complaint at all, except mild anaemia. Oh well, my baseline Hb was always low. Lols.

Then, lets move to third trimester. Means, lets move to another department. Medical. At first, it was okay, but slowly I feel easily tired. Back in second trimester, I survived not eating the whole day until midnight. I survived not sleeping at all during oncall.
But not this third trimester. Thank God, medical posting wasnt too bad, got time to eat maaa, haha. And I was very good with my antenatal appointment except the last one.

Back to this third trimester. Again, nothing much to complaint. Until 37 weeks, I started to have minimal pv bleed. Went to the hospital, treat as show with Os open 1cm.
I still had to do oncall that week. And my request not to do oncall was only granted on the following week. So, yeap, I did my oncall up until 38 weeks.
And decided to do more walking and up and down the stairs, to make it easy for labour. Had few minor contractions here and there but bearable. We did aim for labour that weekend but it didnt happened.

A week later, I missed my antenatal appointment, decided to go to private clinic to make up the missed one.

It was my off day, but I was too lazy to get out from bed that morning. So, I decided to go later but suddenly I cant start my car and needs to wait for someone to check it. It turned out the car was ran out of battery and need to change to the new one.

My sister came over and asked for a sisters-time. So we did dropby at the clinic, but they didnt accept patients anymore until tonight. Alright, so lets go eating! Yeah. And my husband passed his assessment that evening.  Alhamdulillah.

That night, I went to the clinic again. Alone. And thats how I know I have placenta previa. And I know I need to be admitted that night with possibility of operation at that night. 
Mix feelings. Shock. Scared. Alone.

Called my husband on the way home. Non stop crying.

The rest of the story as usual. Admitted. Start fasting, for op on the next day, he flew on first flight at early morning, and here came the beautiful lil boy. Tadaaaa.
(he inserted my branulla, urine catheter, and being the most wonderful husband I could even ask for)

I hate doing 'if' games, but this one is exceptional. To make us becoming more grateful.

1. If I didnt miss my appointment, they might continue the same plan and wait until 40 weeks for the next scan

2. If I didnt go and check, I might die of hypovolaemic shock due to bleeding when I have a stronger contraction

3. If I went to the clinic earlier, there is a chance that my husband wouldnt make it

4. If the car didnt break down, I might go to the clinic earlier, which brings to the problem at no 3 and my husband wouldnt able to complete his assessment

5. If I continue doing on call on that week, my baby and I in huge danger

6. If they detect that earlier, it might jeopardize my contract. I might have problem working in the future, as I might need to be warded earlier/in bed rest

The biggest escape was the hypovalemic shock part.
Just google the complications of placenta previa and you will know how dangeraous it is - both to the mother and child. Especially during term.

Dear future me,
Be grateful. You are still alive.
Allah gives you time to repent.
And it is a miracle that you are still alive, baby Khalish is healthy.
Please, be a good servant. Jangan tangguh solat, baca Quran hari-hari. Sedekah regularly, zikir and remember Allah during both senang dan susah.

Dear Khalish,
You are a miracle to both of us. Remember, Allah ada. He will take care of you whenever, wherever you are. Dont be afraid. Tegakkan kebenaran. Do good. Whatever difficulties that you have face, we might unable to help you, but pray harder, InsyAllah Allah will show you the way.
Look how Allah has taken care of you while you are in my womb, insyAllah He will take care of you while you are in this wild world.
Have faith, dear. Have faith.

Love,
Ummi and Abah.

Dear my husband,
Thank you for being the most supportive,loving husband and father. Thank you for everything. May Allah bless you, dear! and whatever happens, we will stay strong together. Have faith. Trust.We will make this marriage works and together we will reunited in Jannah. Amin!  






Day 14 of life
Day 14 post emergency LSCS
Placenta previa survivor
15 November 2017
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