Friday, March 4, 2016

What keeps you going?

During post surgery ward round today, 
An elderly man hold the surgeon's hand and said thank you with tears rolling down the cheeks. 
Manly tears.

That kind of patient keeps me going.

Later that day,
A wife with background history of amputation above the knee on the left side complains of pain on the right leg. She had just lost her husband due to cancer.  She is grieving and giving  up on her life.  She starts smoking again. 

The registrar came. And after listening to her and her daughter's complaints,  he said,
"I believe your husband in a better place.  And do you know what your husband want you to do? "
With low voice she said,  walking.
" yes! Walking! Go back on your feet.  Use your prothesis leg and walk! Even after you fall,  stand up and walk. Do it for your husband's sake at least"

That kind of doctor keeps me going.

Maybe that is the sign from above,  from Him,  The Almighty. 

Don't give up even other people make your life trouble,  miserable,  difficult.
Don't give up even other people is smarter than you. 
Don't give up even you can't answer simple questions. 

Just continue.
If it is not for your own sake,  at least for the sake of those patients who are in "war",
At least for the sake of those doctors who have lots of audit,  bloods to take,  ECG,  discharge letter,  and other odd jobs other than diagnosing people,
At least for the sake of people who are waiting for you at home,  Malaysia,
At least for the sake of your parents,

You (Read=I) are self-sacrificing,  I know.  But that's what you do best.
I saw one picture in Instagram asked,  describe one word about you. 
For me,  self-sacrifice.
I can't find other better word that can describe myself.
Hurm,  maybe skema. 
Ok.  Enough of those negativity. I need more positive vibes here!

"Cancel,  cancel,  go away gone"

Never stop. 
It is not an easy road, but it is not impossible either. 

If you said, "hey,  you are a final year student but you still have time to write blog post.  And yet you said you have lots to study. (tone Malaysia sangat)."  Get lost,  I don't need negative people here.  *maghah makngah.  Lols*

Well,  true story.  I know some people loves to comment on other people's life.  But believe me,  we have a different needs. I don't mind if you want to tell me to reduce my time on blog because I need to study.  (well,  in which,  I don't) or you kind of concern that I get carried away with blog. Seriously, I don't mind if you are concern about me,  but please don't judge.  Tell me what goes wrong and what can I improve and PLEASE guide me and never give up on me.  I have troubled changing my lifestyle.  Lols.  But serious.  It is not easy to change your old habit.
 
Emo? A bit.  I am a slave with full of sins and thousands of weaknesses.  Please bear with me.

So,  what keeps me going?
Hope and Love

7 weeks to finals.
Istisyhad
2334
23 Jamadalawwal 1437H

P/s missing the road trip.  Feeling like want to run away.  Hurm.  I should consider uzlah in the next few days.  I am really should. 

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