Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Learn to love, learn to respect

Assalamualaikum wbt and hi!

It has been 2 months since the last post. It was a busy month and I love it. Lols.

2016 was a tough year but lots of good things happened as well.
2017 is  a just a beginning of a new adventure. And Alhamdulillah for the past one month, lots of good things happened and hopefully will last till forever. Amin!

Although, the truth is no such thing as perfection but I look it as positive way. How bad could it be? and if it brings us closer to God, or at the end of the day for our good sake, so, why dwell too much? So, yeah. overall, it has been a good month.

After every rainfall, there is a rainbow, aite.

Hence, here we go to a better year. Alhamdulillah. I just got married to a wonderful man on the 1st Jamadil Awal 1438H, and today is our 10th day as a married couple. Lols.No, I'm not counting. It is just wow, dah kahwin dahh. Haha.

I can't really say I am married to the man that I love for only-Allah-knows years. Because it is totally different. If you asked me, since when did we into each other? My answer will be, I don't know. We know each other since 7 years ago, back in college days, started as enemies. Lols, gaduh banyak wooo zaman dulu, and then we get along well after that. (sometimes. haha) I don't have exact date when we agree to get married. And I don't have exact date, I fall in love with him. And I don't have exact date when he propose me. Did he really propose me? Ha ha ha, And I don't know how couples have all the details about that and we don't.

It is a process. and it keeps growing.

Love is a commitment. Love is a word, a noun, a verb. Love is everything. (cloudy. hahah)

Our love story just begin. Still too young to understand. But we pray may Allah showers us with sakinah (peace, restfulness, honour and happiness), mawadah (love, affection) and rahmah (blessings, forgiveness, grace, mercy, compassion, and fortune) Amin!

It is still lots to learn about love and respect. I'm currently still reading book Love and Respect by Dr Emmerson Eggerichs, (a pastor, jangan kecam sis. lols). Was recommended by my brother. The book is good but full of reference from Bible. So, need to be careful. There are things are valid about relationship that we can still use. As a saying, Alhikmatul dholllatul mukminin.. haithuma wajadaha fahua ahaq’qubiha”- Hikmah itu adalah barang tinggalan milik orang mukmin, siapa sahaja yang menemuinya, maka dialah yang lebih berhak keatasnya.”

Gain knowledge as much as possible!

Anyway, back to the book. It says love is what the woman most desires and respect is the man desperately need. Love alone is not enough. There is a theory called "The Crazy Cycle". The theory described as without love, the wife will react and become disrespectful towards the husband, and when the husband don't feel respectful, then he reacts, and being unloving. And the cycle goes on. Like a wheel. It can be without respect, the husband react,being unloving and then, the wife being disrespectful. So, no blaming game here. It is just how a wife or husband react.

A quote from the book,
'trusting and obeying God's word because we love and reverence. God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! when the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don't feel like getting up. Because we do what we don't feel like doing, does that make us hypocrite? No, it is a sign we are responsible person. Showing respectful behavior when we don't feel respectful is evidence of maturity, not hypocrisy'

Still reading the book and haven't experienced any crazy cycle (yet!) So, for time being, everything looks nice and cloudy. Hahah. No, I am not being pessimist but I'm being realistic. and I'm enjoying the current phase. Cloud nine. Hahah. and yes, it is beyond my description of love. Un-describable. (lols, suka hati je buat term baru). and no, I'm not peer pressured my fellow friends to get married (although, indirectly yes. haha) because everyone has their own challenge and Allah has plan for everyone including you. So, your time will come soon. Keep on praying. Allah knows best. Your jodoh sesat somewhere. Huhu. He/She will come at a right time, right place, and as a right person. Believe in Allah, dear.

Need to learn more about love and respect. Long wayyy to go. May Allah bless us! Amin!

p/s puas boleh design sendiri banner and sticker. ngeeeee. Self Satisfaction.

From Facebook. Just to remind us again and again :)
Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.
Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.
Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.
Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.
Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.
Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!
Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!
Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.
Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!
Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.
Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”
Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.
Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.
Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone Else. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!
Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.
Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!
Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.
Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.
When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!
Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each .
Writer : Unknown

Lot 2740
10 Jamadil Awal 1438H

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